parenting/doing the right thing.

[Blu13]

So me and my ex get on civil for the sake of our 8 year old child, we’ve both moved on in different relationships and both had other children. However my ex is refusing to pay child support, he says he will contribute by paying half towards what clothes I buy my child the thing is I need the help money wise I can’t go on not getting a penny. He’s quite an abusive person so I try to keep him at arms length and be civil for the sake of our child. He’s self employed and declares himself as not working so csa say the only way around it is by reporting him to hmrc for tax evasion. The only thing I worry about with that is that he won’t have my child when he agrees to have him because he will be really hard work and I don’t want it to affect my child either not seeing his dad? I don’t know what to do because it’s eating me away. I can’t afford to buy everything for our kid and he gets away with it scot free but I don’t want my child to be hurt in the long run. Do I just not do anything at all? 😭 I’m really stuck and I feel it’s unfair

Have you been through CMS?

How often does your child to to their dad's?

Yes I’ve been through them because we couldn’t come to a mutual agreement he just wants to pay for half of trainers etc, he doesn’t understand I need the money for other things like gas electric, food petrol. I don’t understand his logic. They basically said he’s declared himself unemployed therefore it’s out of their hands so only I can take it further by going to hmrc. He stops at his house weekends a month so 4 nights all together that’s it.

He is a shit father if he is lying about his employment status to get out of providing the correct amount of financial support for his child.

If he is really working and has lied about being unemployed I would report him so that the correct amount of child maintenance can be claimed.

If he stops contact because of that then he is an even shitter father than he is already. Taking out his anger - about being found out lying and made to pay the correct amount - on his own child is poor. As is using the threat of 'well I won't see DC' to try and make the mum not claim for the proper amount cos he knows mum will always try to do best for DC in terms of wanting them to have a relationship with their dad.

But others may think I'm being too harsh, but have special rage for fathers who don't pay their fair share for their kids and leave it all to the mums.

Thank you. He is a shit father through and through, he thinks he’s in the right and shouldn’t have to pay me a penny because our child is looked after at his house and he buys him things when he’s there that I can’t afford, obviously. Thank you for your advice.