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Original poster

Can a mother change the child's school (without consent of the father)?

26 replies

UnsureOfWhatToSay · 13/09/2020 02:09

I am posting on behalf of my partner. I hope that's okay.

My partner has an 8-year old child. The child recently started year 4 at school. Both parents currently live within walking distance to the school. My partner specifically rented a house near the school to make drop-offs/ pick ups easier (this was before he met me).

My partner's ex told my partner tonight that she is moving to another area. This area is about a 20-minute drive from where she lives currently. My partner and his ex are not on friendly terms. This communication came through Whatsapp. My partner didn't respond as the message was sent late-ish (10pm) and my partner believes that his ex may be drunk and trying to get a reaction from him. He will ask for more details tomorrow.

My partner is now worried that his ex will try to move the child's school, which my partner does not want. Is there anything my partner can do if she does try to do this?

We are in England (if it matters). There is no court order in place.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 13/09/2020 03:53

Not if she has main custody no....it's largely up to her. How many drop offs and pick ups per week does he do?

20 minutes isn't that bad...if she currently has the child for more than 50% of the time, she's not being unreasonable to want to move house.

StoneColdBitch · 13/09/2020 08:45

School choice is one of the things that both parents have to agree on. If they can't agree, they need to seek a court order. So yes, your partner can speak to a family solicitor for advice. Regardless of how many nights Dad spends with his child, he absolutely is entitled to a say in this, though the court may agree to a school change to suit the resident parent if it wouldn't interfere too much with the NRP's contact pattern. Good luck.

BluebellsGreenbells · 13/09/2020 08:49

I agree with PP they can’t change without agreement and if needed a court order.

I’d be more concerned if the child is moved into mums catchment and there is no longer space in dads catchment

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tiredanddangerous · 13/09/2020 08:49

The only thing he could do is take it to court.

conduitoffortune · 13/09/2020 08:51

He could make an application for a prohibited steps order if he feels strongly that it isn't in his DC's best interests.

Mintjulia · 13/09/2020 08:53

Your partner could go to court for a prohibited steps order.

The mother would need to show good reason why it was in the best interests of the child, such as unresolved bullying etc.

It's easier to prevent than to get reversed so perhaps consulting a solicitor now would be worthwhile.

RedCatBlueCat · 13/09/2020 08:54

My school transfer forms were signed to say "I have parental responsibility for this child and/or the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility"

CodenameVillanelle · 13/09/2020 08:55

He should contact the local education authority and ask what happens if he doesn't consent to a school change. Technically they shouldn't process the change if he doesn't agree but I don't know how that works in reality

Original poster
UnsureOfWhatToSay · 13/09/2020 09:19

Thank you so much for the responses. It has given my partner a lot of reassurance and hope.

My partner has his son (on paper) 50% of the time. This is a one week on, one week off arrangement. The handover is done at school. However, my partner usually has his son more than 50% as the mother (pre-COVID) travelled a lot for work. Last year, my partner had his son around 60% of the time, despite a 50/50 arrangement.

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 13/09/2020 10:04

School choices are meant to be agreed by all parties with PR, but in practice I doubt either school would prevent the move without court involvement.

Onceuponatimethen · 13/09/2020 10:08

Basically you need to get advice from a family law solicitor ASAP. You need to ask about prohibited steps orders and then solicitor will advise you what to communicate to your ex at this stage.

AGoatAteIt · 13/09/2020 11:26

He can go to court to request an order to stop his child moving school and let the local education authority know about it. Doesn’t mean he’d get his way as he’d have to point out why he thinks it’s bad for his child to move school and not about how it would affect his own life.

That’s what was explained to me by my solicitor before I moved to a new area.

kierenthecommunity · 13/09/2020 11:43

All the above applies if he’s on the child’s birth certificate. If he’s not then he can’t put any order in place without getting parental responsibility sorted first.

If he does have PR then, yes, he can apply for the PHO but the judge will decide the school issue on what’s best for the child, not what’s more convenient for your DP. There may be several good reasons for the child to move school after all - nearer home, will befriend children who live near his new address, may be in the same cohort of kids for high school.

Assuming the potential new school isn’t a hell hole, or the current school has facilities that address a specific need for your DSS, I can’t see why the mother would be prevented from moving him tbh

Original poster
UnsureOfWhatToSay · 13/09/2020 15:20

Thank you kindly for all your responses. It is useful to hear different perspectives and experiences.

As I said, prior to lockdown, my partner had his son around 60% of the time, and this is presumably how it will be when COVID is over. Therefore, it is massively unfair that his ex can change the school, I think?

I doubt this would be allowed if the sexes were reversed.

OP posts:
SoftChewyFoods · 13/09/2020 15:51

We have a court order that stipulates that I am responsible for educational decisions which includes which school she goes to but that's because I am responsible for all apart from 1 school run a week (which ExH doesn't even do, he leaves that one to me too), but I do have to stay living within half an hours drive of my ExH unless he agrees I can move further away.

So as your DP has his son 50-60% he should have a say in what happens. I'd speak to a solicitor if an agreement can't be made.

Sunnydaysstillhere · 13/09/2020 15:54

When my ds moved to me ft the school transfer dept would not accept the form without exh's signature..

Original poster
UnsureOfWhatToSay · 13/09/2020 21:22

Whilst my partner and his ex are no longer friendly, he wants to avoid a court order if possible.

He spoke to a solicitor about a court order a few years ago, he was advised that they are very expensive (in the thousands), and that he would probably end up back at square one (with a 50/50 split).

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 13/09/2020 21:28

Ask on the legal board here. Some things require a form you can fill in an send to the court yourself. But you need to ask someone who actually knows stuff, unlike me!

Alicenwonderland · 13/09/2020 21:39

It's not expensive if he represents himself, it's just the initial fee. It is messy and upsetting so best to avoid court if possible. You need to try meditation first before court anyway (unless there's a history of DV).

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 13/09/2020 21:42

I changed my DSs school without his dad's permission/agreement. But he was NC with his dad at the time. If his Dad wanted to contest it I assume he could have.

SmartyPants0 · 13/09/2020 21:43

Does your partner have parental responsibility?
Any idea why is Mum moving...

Original poster
UnsureOfWhatToSay · 13/09/2020 23:23

The mother is moving in with her new boyfriend. That's whys he's moving house.

Her relationship with my partner was not violent on either side.

They have had mediation several times, but it hasn't helped them be friendly with each other sadly. I do hope that this may change in the future, of course.

OP posts:
Margo45 · 22/03/2023 23:38

Hi all.
in January I told my ex that we (me, my partner and our so ) will be selling house and moving 1.5 h from current place. Ex accepted the fact and didn’t oppose.
only this week he started making problems and said he doesn’t agree to change the school for our son
he called his current school as well as Admission office to say he doesn’t agree,
he is blackmailing me on different demands, for example he wants to reduce the CMS by half saying that I am reducing his contact with son ( he had him 8 times in 2022 and 2021). So I guess I need to agree to £ reduction so he can let us go.
he is always very manipulative and I can’t really negotiate with him.
schools in new area are even better
what can seriously happen if we move and change the school without his consent? Will the Admission office let me do it? I am stuck and don’t know what to do

TeenDivided · 23/03/2023 06:30

@Margo45 If you start your own thread it would be better as people may read this one and then reply to the original poster.

BluebellsGreenbells · 23/03/2023 07:39

Margo45

Did he put it in writing?
Have you kept a log of his time with child?
Made notes about phone calls etc

You can go to court to get their approval - if your low income you can claim legal aid to assist.

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