There is no perfect time, you never know what will happen
I took almost 5 years to finally get dd (mcs, ovarian torsion, endo complications, anaemia etc)
I felt eager to start as soon as ex was ready, because I’d always had problems with my periods and had already had 1 mc before him and I feared problems and I wasn’t wrong, but we’d married quite young anyway and ex didn’t want to ttc immediately after marriage he wanted us to settle into the marriage first, which I understood his point of view.
Then I had the first ovarian torsion and he also started to worry we’d have issues and so said right let’s give it a go and see how we get on.
By mn standards I was still a young mum being late 20’s! But among my circle at that time (army wives) I was an older mum and was asked a lot when we’d be getting on with ttc, family were the same I’m one of the oldest first time mums in my family but again that includes one of the school age mums.
Conceived 2nd cycle (I get pregnant easily) this was my 2nd pregnancy, collapsed at work and ambo’d to hospital. At first mc dx, d&c done but after d&c hcg still rising plus other symptoms and it was discovered there was another embryo ectopic so had more surgery. Endo dx finally, further surgeries and treatment for that, anaemia, bowel issues caused by the endo, another ovarian torsion, I had pneumonia at one point...was a whole saga of obstacle after obstacle until we finally got to where we were given “go ahead” to ttc again.
Again pregnant within a couple cycles, but felt VERY unwell not just morning sickness but recurrence of migraines, dizzy spells, fainting... they kept a close eye on me anyway with the history. Gestational diabetes, regular bleeding throughout which was scary, thrush bloody galore! Rashes, blurred vision, all sorts! Then towards end pre-eclampsia and put on total bed rest and magnesium drip and then an induction decided upon. Induction didn’t work at first so efforts ramped up, 4th day it worked but VERY slow labour initially, then a crazy fast phase, then dd got “stuck” and I started crashing so emcs to save both our lives. Dd unresponsive and initially on oxygen, in scbu very fatigued.
Not easy at all.
The reason for my crashing is a rare condition that only becomes apparent during patients first labour but recurs in subsequent pregnancies early on and is potentially fatal - so basically I was told NOT recommended to get pregnant again and to be very careful with contraception which I have been. Heartbreaking as I wanted a large family. Well wasn’t meant to be.
I’ve known people/women/couples who’ve conceived far quicker than they expected and its thrown them, or have fertility issues or mc etc
I’ve also known people delay and the ttc part go ok but other awful even tragic stuff happened which made them wish they’d done so earlier, inc a friend who waited until the “perfect” time then her husband died while she was pregnant, heartbreaking.
“life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans” is true
I didn’t plan to be a single mum and raise dd alone, I did everything “right” met ex and married after a few years, enjoyed first year as married couple then planned to ttc and hit the obstacles, pregnancy and birth didn’t go smoothly, dd born poorly and with a disability (though didn’t know this till much later), then ex cheated and we split.
Unless you’re seriously independently wealthy you’ll NEVER have “enough money” yet people manage.
Families manage living in rented flats, without support networks etc
@tippytaps interesting article albeit brief. There are so so many factors to conceiving, carrying and successfully birthing a healthy child.
Among my friends and family it’s one extreme to the other! From a couple who had babies while still at school to a few who’ve recently had their first in their mid 40’s. But yea the majority somewhere in the middle of all that and so many factors.
The older mums didn’t choose to be older mums, not one of them. Combination of not having met the right man till late and fertility/medical issues delaying.
It was important to me to be married. same - having seen potential dire consequences of not being married in my family.
For those saying there's never a perfect time to try, when we decided to go for it DH was unemployed and we lived in a rented house. By the time DD came along, those had both changed
Exactly - equally as this year has shown in spades! You could ttc when everything “on the up” and a flipping pandemic hits! Causing redundancies etc