I’m in pain because I did something stupid!... Tell me your stories of stupidity!

[Dorobie]

Go on! Make me feel better 😫

I’m a teacher, I got to school at 7 this morning, one of very few in the building at that time.

I was in my classroom... at far end away from anyone else in the building. Nowhere near the staffroom etc.

I stupidly stood on a table to switch the projector on. The table is triangular shaped with the legs and it instantly toppled over, I fell flat right on top of it and then spent a good 15 mins in a ball on the floor using ‘birthing technique’ breathing to calm me down!!

It fucking hurt! My leg and back landed on the side of the toppled table, I have a massive bruise appearing on my thigh and at the time I thought I’d broken a rib!!

Worse thing though was the fact that no one was around to find me if it had have been worse!

Luckily I’m fine, got up and carried on with my day and did ‘t tell anyone 🙈

@TheNavigator

I went to the toilet last night, stubbed my toe on the bed leg, splitting a toe nail. So sore and I was so brave quietly lying in pain not disturbing DH. I told him this morning how brave I'd been and he was not suitably impressed.

I’d have been the same! So brave... well done 🥰

@TimeToGetMeBack

Leg- wet metal stairs. Arms- office chair with wheels

😯

@MrsJackRackham

I was using a stick blender and a bit of veg got stuck. For some inexplicable reason I turned it on at the same time as my finger was rooting around the blade I clutched my poor finger in fear for a good few minutes, too scared to look in case it was now a couple of centimetres shorter than it used to be. 'Luckily' I just shredded fuck out of it.

I get invasive thoughts about this when I make soup! Not done it yet though!

@OldAndWornOut

I decided to do a backwards roly poly whilst enjoying a kind of "session" with the ex.

I lurched as I was almost over, and fell down arse up, wedged between the bed and chest of drawers.

I had hit one foot on every handle of the drawers, and had a big curl of skin (like a quaver) at base of each (black and blue) toe.

This made me laugh... I’n really sorry 💐

@ComeBackLaterPlease

OP I did almost exactly the same thing, way way back in my teaching days.

After school hours, in my distant classroom with no eye level windows, where no one would be passing till the next day.

Climbed into a filing cabinet to do a wall display, and fell off, bouncing off a table and chair on the way down.

How I didn’t break my leg I’m not sure. The bruising was incredible.

Never told a soul.

I wonder how common it is?!

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

I had unprotected sex once in the last 7 years and I'm now 5 months pregnant. I'll be paying for that one for the rest of my life 😂

🤣 If it makes you feel any better I have an 11yr old woopsie and he’s amazing!

These are all amazing! Making me feel better about my stupidity! Thanks 😍

Took a baking tray out of the oven using oven gloves, decided biscuits needed a bit longer so put back in oven...without using oven gloves 🙄

Went indoors to warn DH an edging paving slab was loose, walked back out, stood on slab and ended up in the flowerbed below, landing on my favourite terracotta pot that broke. The bruise on my thigh was spectacular!

Warned a friend about a step hidden by falling leaves, caught my heel on said step = Weber C fracture complete dislocation of foot, comminuted fractures tibia and fibula. 7 days in hospital, 5 hour op, 14 weeks in plaster on crutches. Boy, did that hurt!

Used the cardboard from furniture delivery to make a slide on the stairs with the kids. They were having so much fun, I wanted a go too! Fractured my coccyx on my landing. 12 weeks later, still agony in some positions.

I was making a cake with a hand blender and the buttercream clogged up the blade. I dug it out with my finger and accidentally pressed my palm against the button....

Disclaimer- I'm very clumsy, constantly covered in bruises where I walk into the bed/ coffee table/ stair gate etc.
We were on holiday in the Norfolk Broads, I'd managed all week without falling overboard etc. Last day, after handing the boat back,I wandered over to look at a boat for sale, whilst eating a bacon roll (bacon roll is important). I tripped over a mooring post I hadn't seen, good job the boat for sale was there or I'd have rolled into the water, smacked my entire arm on the ground, hit my jaw on the mooring post and was lucky I didn't bite through my tongue. Then a seagull swooped down and stole my bacon roll!
I went back round to my dh, he couldn't believe it as I'd only been gone 2 minutes.
Then, after I'd gone into the loo to wash the blood off of my face and arm (later discovered I'd chipped a bone in my arm), I came out of the loos, sun in my eyes and walked into the wooden picnic tables. Took all the skin off of one leg with that one!
In relation to walking into the bed, the other night I misjudged it when going to the loo, hit it so hard it moved the bed and woke my dh up, massive bruise that took weeks to heal. Just as it healed, I did it again.

I bruise easily, my carer says they tend to look like countries.

My back was playing up (arthritis) so I was making a hot water bottle to help loosen it up.

I had the kettle in one hand and the hot water bottle in the other, my back went into spasm and I poured boiling water over my chest.

The blisters were instant and huge and took the shape of a map of the world.

First weekend of the summer holidays walked into the washing machine. Fractured and dislocated my toe. Still can't bend it and it swells up every time I walk on it

Last year I bought a ground ladder like footballers use for training and was merrily running up and down on my patio when I went down a dip awkwardly and broke my ankle.... I'm 42 😂🙈

I was standing too close to my car when I reached up to slam the car boot shut and slammed it onto the bridge of my nose!

The number one rule of surfing is never let your surfboard from under your arm in the shallow water, as it will get caught in a wave and come up and hit you.

On a surfing holiday, I can't get the hang of it and wade back to shore. The instructor starts speaking to and I am distracted.

My surfboard is behind me and a big wave comes up. Bang, it hits the side of my knee very hard.

The force is so hard I know it is not quite right and it feels swollen. Fortunately I had a wetsuit on and there is only a small bruise. It feels very tender so I don't surf for the rest of the trip, a relief to be honest.

I get home and find myself borrowing crutches from a friend. One walk into work and my manager tells me to go straight to A&E...where they tell me I have probably torn the cartilage and they will send me for an MRI scan.

3 weeks later...yes I have torn the cartilage....3 months later I am having surgery and it turns out to be a really nasty tear so I have a leg brace for 6 weeks with crutches and months of physio.

I have since had lung surgery and that was a walk in the park compared to recovering from knee surgery!

Put bubble bath in the bath but got in before the water covered it and went arse over tit! Also stuck finger in a jacket potato to check it was hot, it was 😂 all in the same week

@weegiemum

That sounds painful.

I had spent a morning sorting through my yarn stash when I was sitting on the sofa with yarn all over the floor I had an idea I wanted to share with dh (at work). I jumped up to grab the phone off the bookshelf, got tangled in some really nasty acrylic stuff and toppled over, breaking and dislocating my ankle in the process. It was an open fracture, and the yarn had cut right through to the bone "like cheese wire!" The doctor said.

Luckily I had grabbed the phone so could call 999 (I was at home alone). I've never been so grateful to see anyone as the ambulance man with his gas & air!! They also gave me morphine, my foot was facing the wrong way!

A lovely neighbour saw the ambulance and agreed to take in the kids when they got back from school. As I was being sorted for the ambulance I got dh (who is a dr) in the phone so he met us in A&E and saw me before the 3 hr surgery!

I was in hospital for 10 days and in plaster for 10 weeks!!!

Holy shit! I thought you were going to say you impailed yourself on a knitting needle or crochet hook!

I broke my ankle by slipping on a small damp slope by catching it in the huge quilt I was rushing to get in out of the rain that had just started. I was sat on the ground, in the rain, shaking. Thankfully my dd saw me and got my dh. I broke both bones with about 4 breaks of different types (spiral etc) Needed pins and plates.

Years ago I 'modelled' for an art class where I was required to sit on a chair, atop a table, with one leg crossed over the other. At the end of the hour long session I didn't appreciate - stupidly - that my legs had gone to sleep so when I put my foot down to jump down I collapsed instead and fell straight off the table, breaking my wrist as I put my hands out to save myself.

@IdblowJonSnow

When I was in Australia my friend braked his car when a dog jumped into our path. Unbeknownst to me, his didgeridoo which was in the back of the car slammed into the back of my head. It really fucking hurt and I dont doubt if we'd been going much faster it would have killed me. All I could picture in my mind for ages was the word 'didgeridon't' on my gravestone.

'Digeridon't'

But really glad you didn't find out at high speed, that was a really bad way for him to store it.

Wiped the blade of my fabric scissors with my thumb and cut it right in the fold of the joint. Hurt like fuck for days!

Dropped the spin dryer on my foot. My toe nail went black and fell off.

Slammed a door by putting my hand on the window. The door stopped, my hand kept going and the glass cut my wrist. I needed 4 stitches.

Pulled out the oven tray having forgotten to put oven gloves on first.

After a few 'lemonades' (years ago) got caught short and went for a wee behind some derelict buildings. Pull down tights & knickers. Squat. Sat on a load of nettles.

@MrsJackRackham

I was using a stick blender and a bit of veg got stuck. For some inexplicable reason I turned it on at the same time as my finger was rooting around the blade I clutched my poor finger in fear for a good few minutes, too scared to look in case it was now a couple of centimetres shorter than it used to be. 'Luckily' I just shredded fuck out of it.

@MrsJackRackham I had a sharp intake of breath after the first paragraph.

Ouch. I was hoovering once... alone at home... I accidentally pulled the pipe on Henry and it came out of the other bit and hit me hard in the face!! Blood everywhere and i nearly passed out! Luckily my nose was ok! Embarrassing if anyone had seen though

Put a wooden crate full of hard back books on top of wardrobe turned round and bent down to get something else to put on top of wardrobe as said crate fell off and hit me on the head.
Came round in a daze, luckily DD who I had left napping downstairs was still asleep as I was on my own with her.
Had to ring DH to come home from work as I was concussed felt like I had the worst hangover for over a week!