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21 replies

Shhawkins · 09/09/2020 12:34

I just found out I had a missed miscarriage. I'm so sad I desperately wanted this child that is now dead inside of me

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spiderlight · 09/09/2020 12:48

I am so very sorry. I went through the same nearly eight years ago - found out at the twelve-week scan. Just offering a handhold while you process the news Flowers

greytminds · 09/09/2020 12:53

So sorry for your loss. I’m in the same boat. Had a scan at 16 weeks and baby’s heart had stopped. A shock because all looked fine at 12 weeks, we had started to tell people and no way of knowing why. I feel so sad for my little boy that will never be. It’s my fourth miscarriage and I have one living child. I thought this time would be ok as I’d been prescribed the same treatment as my successful pregnancy but it wasn’t to be.

It does get easier but the sadness never goes away, it just becomes part of who you are. I always liked the thought that each baby’s dna gets mixed up with yours so they are a part of you for some time after they’re gone.

Shhawkins · 09/09/2020 12:58

Thank you ladies. I have an 8 yr old daughter who was so looking forward to a sibling and I wanted to be able to give it to her. I hope this gets easier. I still have it inside of me and so it’s difficult. I want so desperately to have another

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PaperMonster · 09/09/2020 14:31

I’m so sorry. Be kind to yourself xxx

Shhawkins · 09/09/2020 17:47

Doc just called and said bloodwork didn’t show enough and it could be a miscarriage or late implantation? To come back for more bloodwork and be prepared for the worst?! How do you deal with this limbo?! I’m trying not to be happy but idk how to act

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spierse · 10/09/2020 20:22

Im so sorry, I'm in the same boat, had private scan on Sunday as I was worried my symptoms were decreasing (I'm 12 weeks and my hospital scan was originally booked for the 14th) and scan showed baby was only about 7 weeks and no heartbeat. Hospital showed same on Tuesday but said I have to come in next Tuesday before they can confirm a missed miscarriage as they cant rely on the private scan. This is my third MC and second MMC all in less than 12 months. So trust me I really know how awful you are feeling right now. I have started bleeding today which if Im really honest is a relief as the wait is a killer. Stay strong and Im here if you need me 💗

Shhawkins · 10/09/2020 22:40

Oh thank you spierse! I am so sorry for you as well! How awful to have to go through this 3 times! I have not bled not cramped and in fact boobs still sore and getting a positive preg test. They took more blood today and will let me know tomorrow

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Bringonspring · 10/09/2020 22:44

Thinking of you, I’ve been there twice and it’s very difficult. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you

spierse · 11/09/2020 15:41

Hope you are doing ok today @shhawkins i have literally not slept as I lost the pregnancy naturally overnight, trying to rest today as I am beyond drained right now. I hope you get some clarity on your situation soon xx

Shhawkins · 11/09/2020 15:52

Thanks ladies! Spierse Im so sorry that’s so awful! How long does it take and is it painful? I still have no word but took a positive test?

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Shhawkins · 11/09/2020 21:44

So they called me and said my hcg levels aren’t down about 100 from Tuesday and want me to have an ultrasound on Thursday..any thoughts ladies?

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spierse · 11/09/2020 22:12

@shhawkins I wont lie it wasnt great and I lost a lot of blood, took about 9 hours, then today felt like i had been run over by a bus, but i managed to eat dinner and I am now feeling like myself again and a lot less weak, it takes a huge amount out of you. Bit confused by your message you said your hcg levels aren't down? If thats the case surely thats positive?? I think just try and stay as calm as you can and wait for the scan, as you cant really know whats going on until they confirm with the scan. I just hope for me that my scan on Tuesday shows i have passed everything and I dont need to do anything further....

Shhawkins · 12/09/2020 00:16

Oh spierse I hope you feel better! My hcg levels are down 100 in two days

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spierse · 12/09/2020 21:37

@shhawkins sorry hun, stay strong I know the wait is torture. After the awfulness that was yesterday I seem to have passed almost everything quite quickly, bleeding today is like that of a normal period and Im not in any pain. Emotionally not so great as our neighbours were moving house today and their kids came over to ours for a bit while they were packing up the final bits. I don't recommend holding a 5 month old baby when you are in the middle of a miscarriage (they have no idea) but suffice to say I had to go to the bathroom and ball my eyes out. Really doesnt help that we were both pregnant this time last year and now she has a healthy son and I am on my 3rd miscarriage, life can seem so so unfair sometimes

Shhawkins · 13/09/2020 18:00

So sorry to hear this! How awful for you! Hears to hoping we get a healthy baby soon!

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Shhawkins · 13/09/2020 19:34

How long does it take to pass this? Ultrasound showed 4-6 weeks. And I would be at 9-10

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HollieL567 · 15/09/2020 17:31

Hello ladies, just jumping on this thread.
@spierse so sorry to hear of your missed miscarriage I'm sure you was in the same march2021 group as I was in and sadly I'm now joining you 🥺
On Friday I noticed brown blood in my knickers and when I wiped, everyone told me not to worry as it happened after intercourse and was brown.
I called the epu and was booked in for a scan yesterday (my 12 week scan was booked for tomorrow) and I was 12+4, when they scanned me it sadly showed baby passed away at around 7.5-8weeks and that ties in with when my morning sickness stopped. Today I've started having very minor discomfort and back pain and I had my first lot of red blood earlier so I imagine this is the beginning of our miscarriage 😭 I am so sad. This Is my 3rd loss in a year now. 1st baby ectopic, 2nd baby had Anencephaly a neural tube defect discovered at 12 weeks and meant it wouldn't survive life and now a missed miscarriage. My heart is broken 💔

spierse · 15/09/2020 17:46

@HollieL567 hi I am so so sad it's also happened to you, so hard as we really had reached that point of thinking things would be ok. I had my follow up scan today and it showed my miscarriage is incomplete ( i had very very significant bleeding on Thursday and Friday so had thought I must have passed most of it) I am still continuing to let nature take its course this time as I didnt want to do medical intervention after the last two times. Sending you love and thoughts at this difficult time hope you have good support around you.

@Shhawkins how are you doing hun, hope things are ok xx

HollieL567 · 15/09/2020 18:59

@spierse Sorry to hear it's not fully complete, I had this with my last pregnancy and it did take quite a while but once I passed the last bit of tissue it was all over after that.
I too have chosen natural management and let nature run its course, I am worried about the pain and bleeding though.
With our last pregnancy I had to have the medical management with the tablets and I really found that so traumatic & incredibly painful so I really didn't want that this time. I'm just hoping with it being natural and my body not forced in to it I can only hope it's a bit less painful.
Yeah it's so sad as we had got so far 😭 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby one day as it really seems like it'll never happen at times. Xx

Shhawkins · 15/09/2020 19:07

Thanks Hollie. Finding out today

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spierse · 15/09/2020 19:11

@HollieL567 unfortunately your and my experience is almost the same, this is my 3rd miscarriage in less than 12 months and my second MVA. Im glad I went for natural as honestly it has been the best experience so far, i started bleeding on Thursday evening and passed the majority between 4am and 10am i had contrraction like pains but it was very manageable, my only issue was I passed a lot of blood in a short period of time so was incredibly weak and faint on Friday but that passed by the evening and I have been having what I would describe as a normal period ever since. Hospital today wasn't worried that I still have some product as its small and I am still bleeding so they want to wait and have me back to scan in 2 weeks, hopefully it will all pass naturally. Im here if you need me feel free to message directly I know exactly what you are going through, we had so much hope that this time would be different it has hit us both very hard xx

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