Shared email

[nikkylou]

Maybe I'm missing the obvious, so please help!

I'm wanting to set up a shared email (in addition to our personal ones) for me and my partner. Basically I'd like better visibility of the bills - as so much is emailed now. Plus general stuff, we're wedding planning so a fair few suppliers, historically solicitors for mortgage stuff.

Not loads of stuff. But I'm fed up of people being incapable of replying all, so one of us (normally me) misses out on the email, has to chase the other to see if we've had a reply, or if something is sorted. Plus with gmail, we can have a shared calender...so many benefits. I suppose I see it as a natural next stage to having an organised life knowing what the other is doing.

Anyway I'm rambling.

But my partner disagrees. He doesn't want a shared email. No real reason why....probably doesnt like the idea of a [email protected] email address
Just he seems to think there is a better solution. Except he hasn't actually offered one.

So is there a better solution?

If not, any ideas instead of the harryandsally email. Or thesmithfamily@ ones.

What do other people do?

I actually think DH and I should do this too, would be much easier trying to keep track of joint emails like to school etc.

Not sure there is a better way, I think a joint email is a good way forward.

We set one up when we got engaged. Probably the only time we used it. I find it a sensible idea for school/bills but I cringe a bit when people don’t have a personal email account as well.

We have a shared one for utilities/school stuff etc - it's really helpful.

An alternative might be to set up rules to froward emails from certain domains. Anything from school is auto forwarded from my account to my DH.

We have a joint one, for our business really, but for anything to to with schools, holiday etc I use this email address so we both see it.

@icelollycraving I do actually think the cringe has something to do with it. I'm definitely not asking him to give up his.

But obviously when we give it out, we only give one so I wonder if he thinks people will think that!

Hence, I suppose if there are any ideas to disguise it. Hmmm maybe I can make persuade him for animal one. So like [email protected] ... worst case the idea is so awful harryandsally will seem positively normal.

Any other ideas to disguise?

We don’t have a joint email. I tend to handle admin so I just use my email. If it’s something I think is relevant I’ll forward to H.
Having said that I do think a joint email is ok for shared bills etc. Of course you can call it what you like. It could just be in one name but you both have access or just call it [email protected].

We have a shared one, I think we set it up when we were buying our first house and it’s really useful eventhough I cringe when I give the address! We use it for school, holidays, house moves etc as it’s good to have everything in one place and see if one of us has replied.

We have a joint one for bills, school, etc. It's just our first initials and surname.

We don't but I think it could be useful. The only thing would be trying to remember which email you've used for which account if you haven't logged onto a site for a while. Could use a password manager for that though.

If he doesn't want one with both your names like BobandJane@email you could use your surnames SmithandJones@ or SmithJones@ or Smith-Jones@ or just initials something like BSandJJ@ or BSJJ@ for Bob Smith and Jane Jones.

Other possibilities would be using your house name, street name, or a word describing the use of the email like admin@ or bills@ or a combination like adminsmithjones@ or bsjjadmin@

No one will cringe if you use it for joint stuff, it is only cringy when people use addresses like BobandJane@ for things like job applications or don't have a private one for personal use.

Having said that we just forward relevant stuff and it would bother me if DH didn't forward important things or didn't want things sent to me so I could forward them.

Set it to any name or just your surname or something. It doesn't have to be SallyandHarry@...

and you also don't necessarily need to announce that it is a joined account

We set one up for our wedding and kept using it for house and child related stuff, basically anything we would both need access to. It’s all organised neatly too. Do you have your husband’s email password? You have to think about what if the worst happened and you need to access a document that was sent electronically? I think a shared email is just as vital as a shared credit card.

We don’t have a shared email as such but DH’s iPhone and email etc are synced with our family computer and iPad so I use his email address if I want to be able to retrieve the emails myself too so his email is “our” email.
We have a shared family calendar that uses both emails anyway, you can do that without a shared email.

Oh it's a good idea! I get the name issue though.

Maybe go with something like [email protected] type of thing.

I've always cringed at them but never even considered how f-ing practical this would be for utilities and house purchases and ocado etc etc... so you may not have sold him on the idea but you've definitely sold me on it.

We are low tech with the calendar. It’s a freebie given to us by FIL every year and hangs in our dining room.

I think this is a really good idea but the names do make me cringe slightly. What about an address which isn't obvious it's shared, like the first letters of each of your names and then your surname - it may just look like a middle name. Something like [email protected]

If you currently split tasks it would only be practical if they checked and kept on top of it, and if they don’t like the idea there is some risk they don’t, and it really becomes your email for the fun task of sorting all the family admin. I quite like the very clear responsibility line of I don’t get the bills so you have complete responsibility for making sure they are paid.

If he doesn’t want to have one then he needs to be better at forwarding things to you or you need to be the main contact.

Another one who opened this chat thinking shared e-mail is cringe but I’ve been converted reading the comments

I'd go for surname but reckon all the smith@ and jones@ are already taken a hundred times over

We have always had a joint email account for everything, surname both initials @ . Everything is shared and no secrets .

I am going to go against the grain here and agree with your OH. I already have 2 personal emails (general websites / banking) and a work email so another one would be a faff I don't need (and honestly it would be me not dh that ends up checking it).

We live in the same house and I see him every day so it's easy to keep each other up to date. I forward emails to him if I think he needs it and vise versa. The school thing is a bit of a pain (Dh email rather than mine even though I put me as main contact on the school form ) but a quick email to the school sorted that in 5 minutes - much simpler than another email account.

DH and I have one. Handles bills, school stuff, etc. Has worked so much better as it means one of us manages to pick something up even if the other has missed it. It's made running the finances and dc easier

You can set up outlook app to receive emails from multiple accounts, would that help solve his issue?

Regarding naming it, how about staying away from X and Y all together - so HouseholdAdmin16@gmail or whatever is actually available? Or anything really that is available and not embarrassing to give out - SuitcasesAndSuntan or just your joint(?) Surname with some random numbers eg Smith56820.

But I think really he objects to your solution to a problem, he needs to provide an alternative solution.