Why do machines lie about how much time is left?

[SebastianTheCrab]

Washing machine, dishwasher etc.

Washing machine has been saying it's got "1 minute" left for the last 5

Am I the only one whose appliances are damned liars?

Nope! Washing machine says a cycle takes 1 hour 49 minutes, turn it on and five minutes later it says 49 minutes. Then the last bit takes forever, the lying liar.

I think our dw is generally truthful, but the wm tells terrible whoppers!

washing machines aren't programmed to do each function for a set amount of time, but instead to do it until X condition is met. so e.g. fill up with water until the trigger point is detected that there is the right amount of water. heat the water up to 40 degrees, spin until the retained water is small enough for drying to start. the counting down timer shows estimates for how long the remaining steps will take but the actual time will vary according to your water pressure, the temperature of the incoming water, and the nature of the fabrics being washed (cotton retains more water than polyester for example)

the programmers do actually try to give you accurate information but they are working with a lot of unknowables.

My washing machine lies about the last 1 min. I've not checked.other timings, but it wouldn't surprise me if it lied about that too.

Dishwasher is a wise one, doesn't give a time - its lies are less noticable.

A London Underground 3 minutes is equivalent to ground level 7 minutes.

My WM plays fast and loose with the door lock too.
And my fridge alarm attention seeks.

My washing machine is the most awful of liars - the final 3 minutes is usually 10 minutes.

@KihoBebiluPute I’d never thought about those individual steps. thank you.
It still doesn’t account for the last 1 minute taking way, way too long. Usually occurs when I want to unload before dashing out to work. Sometimes I hopefully stand watching and counting the flashes thinking this time it will be truthful ......, nope!

My washing machine is a liar about whether it has actually started or not. Says it has then just sits there until I press the button again and then I just know it's thinking whether or not it can take the piss again. I hate the bastard.

My washing ms home is a lying bastard!

Yeah my washing machine is a lying twat too ,especially with the quick 15 minute cycle which is more like 25 minutes 🙄

[quote JoeWicksSurvivor]@KihoBebiluPute I’d never thought about those individual steps. thank you.
It still doesn’t account for the last 1 minute taking way, way too long. Usually occurs when I want to unload before dashing out to work. Sometimes I hopefully stand watching and counting the flashes thinking this time it will be truthful ......, nope![/quote]
That's where you are going wrong. You must never watch them. 🤣🤣

My tumble dryer lies. It tells me the bath towels will take 2 hours to dry, then it changes its mind to 50 minutes, then it stops and tells me they are done when in reality they are still sopping wet. I've given up with towels and put them onto a timed programme instead.

Mine is a compulsive liar, i have even set my cooking alarm to the minutes left so i don't forget to unload only to find it is still faffing around with its last few turns and the rest it needs after working so hard before it will unlock the door 🙄

Mine are all dirty fucking liars

I wish my washing machine would include the 'unlock' time in the time remaining. No point finishing in 5 mins but then taking a further 5 minutes to unlock. Just tell me 10mins!
Plus, I'm sure it's getting worse. It seems to take longer to unlock the older it gets.

Mine is also a liar, though at least it includes unlocking time in its inaccurate countdown.

The worst thing it does though, is get to the one minute mark, sit ticking and at the point of unlocking, but then decides the load needs one more rinse!

@TeenPlusTwenties

I wish my washing machine would include the 'unlock' time in the time remaining. No point finishing in 5 mins but then taking a further 5 minutes to unlock. Just tell me 10mins! Plus, I'm sure it's getting worse. It seems to take longer to unlock the older it gets.

I miss my old machine that unlocked as soon as it stopped. This fucker beeps then holds my pants hostage for another few minutes.

@KihoBebiluPute

washing machines aren't programmed to do each function for a set amount of time, but instead to do it until X condition is met. so e.g. fill up with water until the trigger point is detected that there is the right amount of water. heat the water up to 40 degrees, spin until the retained water is small enough for drying to start. the counting down timer shows estimates for how long the remaining steps will take but the actual time will vary according to your water pressure, the temperature of the incoming water, and the nature of the fabrics being washed (cotton retains more water than polyester for example)

the programmers do actually try to give you accurate information but they are working with a lot of unknowables.

I love this unexpectedly informative answer to a jokey thread. I've learnt something today!

I want my DW to tell me the time its finished rather than how much it has left, so when the kids say they couldn't empty it and clean the kitchen because it was still going, I want to be able to point to the machine and say 'well that says it finished an hour ago.

The thing with machines is they know when something is important. So if you're in a rush to get the washing done you must loudly comment "I have a couple of hours before I need to deal with that lot" as you load the machine. Computers are the worst. Best way to make a computer work is walk away and do something else paper based to make it jealous.

Yes! My washing machine is a 9 sided bastard! 10 minutes left my arse you lying twat! More like 20. 1 minute until door unlocks? Nope. My Dyson Hoover is an arsehole too, but for different reasons.

My washing machine is reasonably honest but my car is a lying twat.

Fuel warning light comes on and gauge says I can drive 30 miles with the fuel left.
Great, I can do the grocery shopping and some other errands and get petrol on the way home.
Drive 3 miles.... Gauge says only 16 miles of fuel left.
Drive another 2 miles to pick up prescription..... Gauge says I have 5 miles of fuel left.
By the time I get to petrol station, gauge says 0 miles
Lying bastard.

We have live-time boards at most of our bus stops. I've lost count of the times I've waited 10 minutes or more for a bus it says is due in 1 minute.

@Justvisitingthisplanet

The thing with machines is they know when something is important. So if you're in a rush to get the washing done you must loudly comment "I have a couple of hours before I need to deal with that lot" as you load the machine. Computers are the worst. Best way to make a computer work is walk away and do something else paper based to make it jealous.

😂🤣🤣

My washing machine lies, but it is consistent but different for each programme. I've taken to adding the extra "Scotty factor" on myself so I know when it's going to be ready. I do like the fact that it only beeps when it unlocks the door so you're not standing there like a lemon waiting for it.

The dishwasher is accurate, but it doesn't store which programme you used last, so we always have to press the button several times before we start it because the default setting is a 3 hour 40 minute mega programme that you can't change once it's started.

Our microwave clock gains time. Especially if you've been using it and opened the door before the timer finished. It can be several minutes ahead of the other clocks in the room in about a month.