What's it really like moving from London to the countryside?

[makingbacon]

It seems like everyone I know (with small children), are moving out of London, with lockdown being the final nail in the coffin to make the move.

I have two toddlers and currently, in London, we're out of the home all the time / multiple times a day, I can't remember a time we ever stayed at home all day. We only have a tiny courtyard for outside space so I'd go crazy if we were there all day and so would the DC. We walk everywhere or get the bus or tube if going in to town or visiting other attractions (we live on Zone 1/2 border).

My friends who have recently moved out to the Home Counties and beyond are of course putting a gloss on their new lives but it seems like all they do is stay at home? I suppose if you have a big house and garden there's no need to entertain the DC outside the home? And even if you wanted to go somewhere the hassle of car seats, screaming children in the car, parking and traffic puts you off?

Everyday I'm seeing friends in the park/playground/cafes. Don't you get lonely? Or is it just a completely different lifestyle?

What are the pros and cons of country or suburban living?

Some people like towns, some like space.

I spent 10 years in London and hated it. The noise, the traffic, pollution, crime. I left as soon as I could. Now I run in country lanes, I see wildlife, take dc for walks in the woods. But I've never wanted takeaways or cinemas or shops on the doorstep. I go into town once a week if I have to. It suits me.

If you want museums and facilities on your doorstep, stay in a town or city.

We moved out of Clapham to Surrey. Big house big garden
Depends if you work and how far you need to travel
I’d move back to London if my husband would let me but with 4 kids and schools sorted doubt we will.
We have to drive everywhere! As kids schools are miles away
Although it’s easy to get to merlin attractions , airports , beach and vehicle parked on the drive not 3 streets away haha
Not enough life and action here too zzzzzzz
No one walking past our house or nothing to watch as it’s secluded - I do squirrel watching !
Kids can easily travel miles through the woods without going on any roads So they enjoy that
Kids complain of air quality that it smells when we go into London haha
When you go to a park generally 2/3 families max so no q for the slides etc
More space everywhere
Loads of toddler groups
So for kids it’s good for adults I prefer London haha

When do you or your DC see friends @Mintjulia? Do you ever get lonely?

I think it is better from around 5 plus for children in the country. I loved having toddlers in the city, no driving, loads to do within walking distance and buggies were easy on buses etc. However we have now moved out (within an hour) and I love it. So much more for the children to actually do in terms of walking, biking, loads of very well equipped playgrounds (which surprised me) within a short distance, really wonderful schools. But... we aren't completely rural (in the countryside between two villages and only a couple of miles from a good sized town with good buses etc. for when the children are older). It really does depend where you move to...

Younger primary children (4-6) means that it is pretty easy to make some friends. Much harder with older children or secondary as so much less parental involvement.

I don't think it would suit you. You seem to make good use of the variety of options available on your doorstep and like being out and about.

I was born in the country - very out in the sticks. I have spent time living in the centre of big cities and time living rural and remote, which is where I am now. There are most definitely pros and cons. The way I think either works for most people is they are either very anti-social and do not really like people in which case moving to the Welsh Marches would always work. If you thrive on opportunity and society then a large city with culture would work. You can always get away for a few weeks a year to the country if you wish - we are a small island so that is always going to be possible.

Crime is a red herring I think. I have been a victim of crime about four times while living in the country. I feel safer in London than any other city - and even other UK cities are reasonably safe - especially the central zones where I lived and worked for several periods of my life.

I do find teenagers who live in the sticks definitely suffer - though I stress as a general rule. Those who live in London, Bristol, Edinburgh seem to have more honed social skills which I think should not be overlooked.

Ultimately, it is where you feel most fulfilled.

I moved from the London suburbs to a village on the edge of Brighton. Most cities are so much smaller than London that you can be 20 minutes drive from a city centre but still in a country setting (although it doesn’t sound like you want a country setting). I didn’t want to be particularly rural - I don’t want to have to drive everywhere, and I was thinking ahead to having teenagers and I definitely don’t want to have to drive the everywhere.

I loved London but was trying to move to a bigger, more family sized house and it was ridiculously expensive and we were getting outbid on everything.

We’re still walking distance from playgrounds/parks/cafes and have family passes to some kiddie attractions a short drive away. I was quite lonely for a while (was pregnant and had a toddler when we moved) but now both kids are at school I have a pretty good network of friends. Pre-lockdown Brighton was great for nights out. It doesn’t come close to London for museums, galleries, live music, but those weren’t every day things for us anyway, and London is an hour away.

I don’t find driving a hassle - parking and traffic is much easier than in London, but we tend to get the bus if we’re going into Brighton.

It doesn’t really sound like you want to move though. I think London is probably a great place to raise a family if you can afford a decent place to live.

People seem to think the choice is just zone 1/2 or rural isolation. We live in London (more suburban than you are). I love the convenience of having shops in walking distance, excellent public transport links and the centre of London a short train ride away. I also love the vast amounts of public green space we have. We rarely go into central London ('up town') and only occasionally go for country walks. My impression of the countryside is whilst it looks great, alot is inaccessible to the public. The centre of London is exciting and all that , but holds little interest as I used to live there and have done a lot of it. I just find it too busy. So, where we are is a good middle ground and I cant see why we would move further out.hate the traffic though.

Im right on the edge of London and find there’s more to do here than there was in zone 2 if you’re a sporty family and more within walking distance. Plenty of houses have 1/3 acre or bigger plots so you can have s playground and a swimming pool in the garden and have play dates in the garden. Or walk to the park. There isn’t as much cafe culture as the whole NCT group can easily fit into the sitting room and there’s the garden or playroom to play in. Zone 2 properties are too small for that so people will naturally be out and about a lot more.

I grew up in a nice suburb in zone 4, and I agree with a couple of the comments above. London is not all zone 1&2. There are loads of outer areas that give you easy access to the countryside while still having tube stations and facilities. Living in Upminster is completely different to living in Elephant & Castle.

People seem to think the choice is just zone 1/2 or rural isolation.

Yep.

I was brought up in a village, spent a few years in a city and went back to village life. For smaller children it really helps that you don’t have to pack up a load of stuff and go out and about all the time, you can just chill out in the garden - but then again toddlers do get more easily tired with days out so there’s that bonus!

I myself can’t bear city or town life and neither can my partner, so we made the decision based on us rather than children. We both look back fondly on teenage years roaming fields and being safe to stay out as late as we liked in our villages, so hoping our DD feels the same way too.

Think about the area that you choose; lots of places in the Home Counties are similarly priced to London so you don’t get much more garden space for your money.

When do you or your DC see friends @Mintjulia? Do you ever get lonely?

I don't understand why it would be any harder to see friends than in the city. I let my dc go to the park or walk round to their friends' houses younger than I would have done in the city, because it feels much safer. Their friends in the village are only a few minutes' walk away. Ditto some of mine.

We moved out of London before having dc, then moved again to a more rural area 6 years ago when they were 6 and 9. Haven't regretted it for a moment. There are still cinemas, restaurants, cafés, activities for kids, plus lots of outdoorsy stuff. I love the lack of traffic, the views, the noticeably much better air quality and the more chilled pace of life.

You know there are towns and cities outside London right? We live in a house with big garden in a town. Walk to everything, short commute, great schools.

I lived in the country for a decade and couldn't wait to move back. One word: MUD.

DS' social life revolves around school, martial arts club and swimming lessons. I do a lot of driving since he's not quite old enough to go on his own. Next year probably... There are a few boys his age in the village as well.

My social life (single mum) is limited. There isn't a babysitter within miles . Two close friends nearby who I see at the weekend. I cycle and do parkrun so a few friends there. Plus neighbours who are lovely, and family. I can have the social life I want anywhere but it was the crowding and stress and pollution I hated. If I need culture now, I get the train up and spend a day at a gallery or the V&A but then I can leave again.

I moved because I don't enjoy endless bustle. I know others would hate it and think I'm mad.