Parents of children who play Fortnute/X box

[Remmy123]

At the end of my tether - two children 8 and 12 seem completely obsessed with fortnite / playing it / watching it etc

Saturday morning when they wake up they go on, they argue over whose turn it is, it's like they are addicted!!

They arnt allowed it in the week now, but this morning for example one argument already over it. '10 more minutes' ends up being an hour, if I turn it off I'm a horrible mum .. etc .

I really do hate the game but all of their mates play it.

How much does your child play / how do you limit it?? When they are not on it they are bored doing anything else!!!!

Help need my kid back!

[MeridaTheBold]

It's not a Fortnite problem or a gaming one. It's that you give boundaries and then let them slide.
My DS wasn't allowed to play Fortnite at age 8 and part of the problem is that you're treating them both the same even though there's 4 years age difference between them.
There are lots of ways you can solve this. You just need to decide which one you will follow through on. You could stop them both from playing. You could stop the youngest from playing. You could introduce set times for each of them to play alone.

[Valkadin]

I would worry more about you tube content, some of the gross stuff that comes out of streamers and content creators mouths. I game and watching YouTube videos can help with gameplay but many content creators talk trash as they say.

I game as does DS but he played football, and went to cadets as well. The kids that show signs of genuine addiction will have that personality type so it can be a real issue.

Over lockdown I gamed far more as did the rest of the household, we also played board games, watched tv and had a major garden change which involved chopping down trees and building a patio. If you make sure they do other stuff and if arguing occurs it goes off then it’s fine.

I would advise no consoles in the bedroom, make sure you have parental control settings and never leave a credit card on the console for in game purchases. I used to play fortnite, the sad thing is the PVE content which actually existed before the PvP battle royals mode is actually really good co operative inventive game play but has been left behind. My DS and I used to play fortnite together. My regular squad and I stopped playing much when cross platform became a thing as it’s too hard playing against PC players who have a distinctive advantage.

[Verite1]

My DS also went on Fortnite far more over lockdown as that is the only game that allowed him to have contact with his friends. Quite frankly it made a huge difference to his mental health as he was very getting very depressed during lockdown. He is on it much less now he is back at school but his after school activities still haven’t started up again so we do let him go on it for an hour or so after school. Pre lockdown, it was weekends only.

[Remmy123]

Actually the after 3pm one is good!!

It's like life has revolves around the gane, if we go out it's 'what time will we be back?'

I've had enough. Even if I ban then for days for not coming off when asked etc a week later they do it again.

Might try the from 3pm and see how we go

[notso]

My dd has worse tantrums over a craft project gone wrong than DS does over a game. Should I stop her junk modelling then?
My DD used to have tantrums over Hama beads so we took them away until she was older. Why wouldn't you?

[TheEC]

The game is a twelve? It is addictive, this is widely spoken about. It makes kids grumpy and they get obsessive which is why I wouldn’t be allowing it until they are at least of age.

[jackstini]

Following with interest as ds 11 can get very annoyed when playing - he's like a different child

I'm new to this as never had a console in the house until last Christmas, so it was still in the new & exciting phase when lockdown happened

He gamed a lot more during that period to talk to friends (& dd 14 watched a lot more teenage iPad crap)

Now they are back at school the time is reduced but there are times I have just pulled the plug because of attitude/not coming off in time. He's furious at the time but he needs to understand consequences.

We put an Alexa alert on for an hour and then he can finish the battle he's on but not start another

[pushananas]

[quote Balaur]@ThePenIsBlue oh bog off with your pompous little mealy mouthed statement.[/quote]
It's true though. If you resort to verbal abuse when you don't get somebody agreeing with you then is it any wonder that your sons are the same when they have to do something that they don't want to do?

[Hormonecrazyhell]

Mine is obsessed with it too, as are all his school friends. I let him decide, so he thinks. The thing with that game is they want/need vbucks. Mine gets pocket money but can only spend a small % on vbucks. So when he wants vbucks I’ll say, ok if you bake me cake, paint me a picture, plant those bulbs, walk the dog etc. So he gets going on something else. I also have an off time, regardless of the game. 8:30 on school days, 10:30 at weekends.

[HarrisonFived]

I have fond memories of days I used to spend (full days) playing SNES games and N64 with my little brother. It quickly stopped when my father died and my youngest brother was a baby, so I quickly learned to step up to adulthood.

I’ll never get those gaming days back. I’ve gained a degree and had a successful career so far since then, so I don’t think it stunted my chances in life. I wish I could still have days like that. When my DC are older, I look forward to them having some days where they can just be kids and do whatever the hell they want with their time. Even if that’s watching TV or playing games. I will keep checking that they’re happy. I’ll adjust things accordingly from there.

This is just a response to anybody who seems to think that hours spent playing a game is a ‘waste of youth’. What utter shite.

[ElanaD]

My boys are a little younger but they are totally into minecraft. They played it a ton over lockdown but I'm going to try to rein it in now that school is starting back up. But honestly they chatted with their cousin in America on FaceTime while playing for hours and hours and they had the best time!! I would let them play 2-3 hours in the afternoons a few times a week after having a busy morning outdoors. Now it will be only 1-2 hours one night a week only and 1-2 hours Saturdays. This is a weird year and I don't see the harm in playing xbox with friends - they are being social in their own way.

[mcdog]

@Balaur I get it, my 2 could spend hours and hours on their devices at a time as I had to work and it was the only way to stop them constantly interrupting me.

Everyone who is finger wagging can fuck off, what happened to a supportive forum????

[Sewrainbow]

@Balaur I understand, my eldest will no longer do Lego, crafts etc he likes football but none of us do so he had noone to play with over lockdown. It is better now as we allow him down the park on bike/scooter with friends. I have overcome my natural fear of the internet/games/electronics as there is some skill involved in working out the challenges etc.

Luckily my youngest cam still be distracted with toys and traditional games.

[NachoNachoMan]

What console are they playing on?

We have an xbox which is has the family account set up. You can set how long they can go on for per day.

My children have to help with housework (age appropriate) and then they can have an hour on the xbox. They know once their time is up that's it for the day.

[ShinyGreenElephant]

Put a limit on the x box maybe so its not you turning it off and doesnt become a discussion? We don't have consoles but put a 3hr limit on dsd phone as she was spending 8-9 hrs a day playing games and didnt want to do anything else. We had tears and tantrums for the first few days but told her once it was set its not changeable, now she checks herself how long is left and limits her usage, saving some for later. She does tell us proudly that her mum removes it soon as she gets home each week though and she stays on it until 4am

[Sewrainbow]

Parenting nowadays is very much a learning curve navigating through internet and computer games. I'm of the generation of 3 tv channels and no computers/internet at all growing up. I was very worried about my dc not having the sort if childhood I had. But then I didnt have the freedom of roaming the countryside etc that my parents did and watched too much tv after school etc.

I think the key is laying down "the rules" . So inappropriate language or behaviour is punished with removal of privileges. Ensuring your dc eat and drink and have outdoor exercise regularly. My ds went through a stage of personality changes after playing like addiction, so we removed the xbox for a week or so which definitely helped. He gets a warning now and usually heeds it.

[BubblyBarbara]

If you have enough time at a weekend to want to try and micro manage your children’s time when they’re enjoying themselves, I suspect you are projecting your own anxieties about how you’re wasting YOUR time on to them. Let them be!

[gamerchick]

This is just a response to anybody who seems to think that hours spent playing a game is a ‘waste of youth’. What utter shite

Especially when they're posting that judgment on a SM board. Which is a waste of time in itself when you think about it 😁

[HarrisonFived]

@gamerchick

This is just a response to anybody who seems to think that hours spent playing a game is a ‘waste of youth’. What utter shite

Especially when they're posting that judgment on a SM board. Which is a waste of time in itself when you think about it 😁

Oh surely the two aren't comparable 😂😇

[sunnysidegold]

We got rid of fortnite about three weeks ago. It was the best decision. We had only got it at the start of lockdown to let our kids talk to their friends.

We knew it had an age restriction so my husband played it and we felt ok about the violence in it. We made it very clear they were only to talk to friends their knew IRL and checked settings and stuff regularly.

As someone pointed out, Fortnite is live and played in battles so allowing half an hour say, means they could still be in the middle of a game when their time is up. This is where our problem started. Boys not wanting to finish at that time, really becoming addicted to it, wanting to play it before doing anything else... It turned out lovely boys into two selfish brats - moreso the older one.

Getting rid of it was met with much consternation. But after a couple of days.....Fortnite was forgotten about. They did go back to games they previously loved - ones where they can save progress if I inconveniently call them for dinner at a crucial point.

[PhilipJennings]

It's really interesting seeing all the different views on this. I'd been feeling guilty that our usage of it was excessive (to be fair, it probably is, but at least it sounds like a normal kind of excessive.)

We don't have an Xbox and 8yo DS only had it on the iPad. Fortnite would drain the battery in a couple of hours and he couldn't use it even plugged in, especially as he was FaceTiming his friends at the same time. A bit more of a natural limit than me shouting, oh and I also set screen time limits for the apps I don't love (max 2 hours for fortnite, 1 for YouTube, unlimited use of Doodle maths ).

We have both been super busy working from home the last six months, and DH is happy for the kids to play games so our family screen time level is pretty high. But DS doesn't spend all his time on fortnite - it's split with minecraft, Roblox, Netflix and YouTube. All the nasties, but I suppose at least they are different ones! And the last two hours of the day are for books only.

He doesn't play alone with anything, never has. Even back in the Thomas the Train days he had to have an audience for the stories. I can't leave him alone with anything crafty while I work or he'll give himself a haircut, glitterglue the staircase and tattoo his sister or something... last month's experiment ended in body painting and needed two showers and a bath to get off!

Weekends obviously we do parent a bit more firmly!

[pushananas]

Everyone who is finger wagging can fuck off, what happened to a supportive forum????

Why are we expected to support things that we don't agree with?

OP thinks her boys spend too much time on Fortnite. We agree and say so. People then object. Are we supposed to just say 'oh how lovely, crack on love' then?

The OP needs to be the parent that she is and tell her boys what times they are allowed on the Xbox and stick to it. She's the one who should be in charge and she needs to make sure that she is.

[mcdog]

@pushananas

Everyone who is finger wagging can fuck off, what happened to a supportive forum????

Why are we expected to support things that we don't agree with?

OP thinks her boys spend too much time on Fortnite. We agree and say so. People then object. Are we supposed to just say 'oh how lovely, crack on love' then?

The OP needs to be the parent that she is and tell her boys what times they are allowed on the Xbox and stick to it. She's the one who should be in charge and she needs to make sure that she is.

I was talking about the pp having a go at another pp, not the op.