What would you do if you was in my shoes

[Nomorepjdays]

Got my child in at a great school a 30 minute walk from our house. She's just going into her second year.

I've been suffering all year from anemia. It began last summer but also on and off since 2014 but I didn't notice. I go back and forth to the doctors. I take the pills. I have bloods. They get in the bottom end of normal range. They say no further action. I have to come off the pills and move onto a liquid iron after 12 weeks as my stomach is a mess. I've tried all the tricks. I asked the Dr about liquid a while ago and he said give the pills one more month and take omeprazole (which I didn't because they stop iron absorption) plan on going through gynecology once coronavirus settles. But to the point.

I can't feel better. I am unreliable and my daughter needs a parent who can get her too and from school. I've started getting awful hormonal headaches. I often have days where I'm walking around with a knot in my tummy and a pounding head. Tonight my heart palpitations are back. I have noticed my vision is blurry in the distance. This comes back every time my iron drops again. My partner is currently supporting me with the school runs. But I can't rely on him forever and I am at a loss. What do I do ? My daughter loves her school so much and has friends. I also love her school. But in reality I just can't do the school runs in this mess. I'm on my period this week and I was stood in the queue to get her and I felt so weak and headachy I started to panic. I had to keep drinking water and talking myself through the ten minute wait.

I have no idea what to do. For the first six months of her schooling I did all the school runs. Now I'm barely able to get 2-3 days in a row.

I'm going to contact my Dr Monday but they won't do anything other than confirm its low and give me tablets. The symptoms are making me miserable.

I was also given vitamin d three months ago. Still feel pants constantly.

Have you tried Spatone. It’s a liquid you mix with orange juice and it really helps to improve your iron levels. I had it when I was pregnant and after my dc. It’s a bit pricey, but it’s much gentler on the stomach than iron tablets (horrible things!) You can take quite a few sachets a day if your iron is low and then one a day to help keep your iron levels at a reasonable amount.

You need to be a better advocate for yourself with the doctor, and tell them what you want and need rather than passively accepting what they say and offer.

Tell them you can’t function and you need that referral to gynaecology now. I’ve commented on one of your threads about this before, and you just need to push harder. This isn’t normal and you don’t have to put up with it, but you need to get beyond the gp. I was in your position, and I had to keep pushing to get a third referral to gynae, after trying hormonal contraception, followed by a Mirena coil; eventually I had an endometrial ablation three years ago, and for the first time in 20 years I now have acceptable (though still low) iron levels.

I told my gp I couldn’t accept this bleeding and anaemia affecting my work and my home life any longer, and I needed help beyond what had been offered. And then I chased the referral every few weeks until I was in that clinic with a consultant.

Women’s health isn’t taken seriously enough even now, but the care is there. You just have to make sure you get access to it.

Agree with AdoptAdaptImprove also if you haven't had your cobber and zinc levels checked please ask for this. Look up cobber deficit.

But your gp shouldn't ignore your symptoms, before next appointment, write down all your symptoms and show your gp or even better ask for a different gp.

I'd ask to speak to another Dr and I'd call to them daily until something was done about this.
Regarding the school, personally I'd tell them you are having ongoing personal medical issues which you are in the process of trying to resolve which is sadly affecting dd's attendance.
A good school will be supportive of your family and your DD. Possibly sent some worksheets for DD that can be used on the days she can't get in in the interim.
Last thing you need is a call from the attendance officer. I'd be upfront.

If your partner is her father, then why on earth wouldn't you rely on him to do them? And if he isn't her father, surely as your partner, given that you are definitely unwell, why wouldn't he want to help you?
But I agree that you need to be more assertive with the doctor and get a referral.

Have they looked at your ferritin levels? You may need a transfusion. Ask them to look into it for you. Also might be worth checking for Fibroids as these can cause anemia too, definitely worth investigating

@Mumtumwobble

Have you tried Spatone. It’s a liquid you mix with orange juice and it really helps to improve your iron levels. I had it when I was pregnant and after my dc. It’s a bit pricey, but it’s much gentler on the stomach than iron tablets (horrible things!) You can take quite a few sachets a day if your iron is low and then one a day to help keep your iron levels at a reasonable amount.

Spatone won't touch anemia this bad. It had a fraction of the iron in the prescribed stuff.

I went through a phase of horrible anemia and the only way I was taken seriously was to essentially have a breakdown in the GPs room.

Given your situation, I'd honestly consider heading to A&E and asking there for help. Or changing doctors to get help.

Have they run tests for coeliac ?

Would any of your daughter's friends Mums be willing to take your dd to school. You could pay them for the inconvenience?

Yes to going beyond GP. I think you've been patient enough OP. Time to get insistent and stand your ground. You need specialist help.

Could be worth speaking to a pharmacist about iron tablets. When I was pregnant the iron tablets I was prescribed made me feel really sick. A pharmacist pointed out that I could buy some more stomach friendly ones, which weren't on available on prescription, as they were more expensive.

More thoughts:

I get this on prescription www.medicines.org.uk/emc/product/8791/smpc#gref

The tablets all make me vomit. It worked really quickly for me but if you don't get the cause sorted you can take all the iron in the world and it won't help.

Have you had a thyroid test? Also b12 as pernicious anemia can make you feel really bad.

www.healthline.com/health/pernicious-anemia#symptoms

Thanks for your replies.

My b12 was 456 2 months ago.

Ferritin was the lower end of normal at 26.

Yes I've gone through stages of using spatone. I've used ferrous sulphate on and off for a year (usually for 12 weeks) which bumps it up enough for the Dr to say no further action.

My partner has to work so he's doing everything he can to support me. But on work days when he's needed away from the house he's 90 miles away. He does help me and he's been amazing. But I want to live and function.

I have to go through ask my gp Monday.

In match I had thyroid, vitamin d, iron etc checked.

I'm at the point where I'm thinking do I home school. But I know full well that would be a huge negative and will massively isolate us all. My daughter bounces of being in school.

I appreciate I've written posts before. It's frustrating for me and I know it's annoying to think, it's her again but I feel like it helps to talk about it.

I felt terrible last night. I really did. Even if it is hormones they are getting worse. Right now I'm barely living because of all this.

I don't really have anyone to ask. The mums nearer me that I know have a car full already. Not close enough to them to put them out. Especially with the new system at the school. Different entrances and times. Afternoon collection was awfully slow and the school have acknowledged it.

I will ask the GPS what they can do now to help. I will ask if there's more they can do. The trouble is my local hospital is a green zone at the moment and it's barely functioning. If they start sending me to the other hospitals for appointments it creates more trouble as they are an hour away.

I just desperately need energy. I never have any. Not been checked for celiac. There's millions of things I wish they would check. But they only seem to focus on the basics and I guess they find stuff.

I said to my partner last night, I would have never had my kids if I knew this is how I was going to be. I am a good mum and I try my best. But they deserve so much more activity. I want to be like the other mums and chat and walk together. I miss being a part of things.

You poor thing. I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions other than a total breakdown in the doctor’s surgery where you really let them know how badly this is affecting you. It sounds horrendous.

I will chase the doctors this week.

Partner came in to see me an hour ago in bed. He suddenly said he felt sickly dizzy and tired. He was up until gone 1am so he's had a late and night and presumably feels crap. So I'm sorting washing and my heart keeps thudding. He does usually help me out the best he can.

I wish he would get more sleep and then he could have taken the kids out for the morning. Sometimes I think his tiredness makes me worse. He wakes up in the evenings and hes half dead all day. It's like I moan about how I feel and then he does. The thing is there's a reason for mine. Hes not been for a walk for over a week now as he's often working from home due to Coronavirus.

Sorry for my grumble. Maybe he is ill but we haven't been anywhere.

Don't let them fob you off with it but ask about anxiety too. It can create physical symptoms and feed back where you just can't seem to feel better. I know when I'm anemic, I get very anxious and sometimes can't separate the anxiety from the anemia symptoms. Don't just accept anxiety as the final diagnosis though!

You also probably need to take some kind of iron every day. Doesn't have to be prescribed ones but don't get within range then just stop taking them. A really good broad range multi vit/min might also be a good idea as everything is balanced so you're not throwing your system out of balance.

My GPs have a form for online consultations - if yours does too I'd fill it in, saying exactly what you've said here and see if that changes anything. When stuff is in writing it seems to be taken a bit more seriously! If you get no joy from that though then go somewhere else.