Tell me about your second son

[SilkCottonTree]

We’ve just found out that DC2 is another boy. We genuinely didn’t mind if they were a boy or girl as this pregnancy has come after 3 years of secondary infertility and two miscarriages. So we are just so happy to be having a second child. But since finding out it’s another boy I’ve had these niggling thoughts - to me DS1 who will be 4.5 when his brother arrives is just the most perfect child I could have wished for.

Obviously I am completely biased (and he does have his moments!), but he is just such a gentle little soul and a really fun companion. Basically I think he is a really hard act to follow - more so for another boy than for a girl. I know when I meet DS2 he will be his own little person and I can’t wait to get to know him, but I am worried that I will expect him to be of a similar temperament to his big brother and I don’t want to put any unfair expectations on him!

If you have two sons (or two daughters) how did you feel when the second one arrived? And did it take you long to feel like you had two little individual people rather than it being your PFB and their sibling if that makes sense? How do you actively stop the younger one being over shadowed by the older one? Or am I worrying over nothing?

I’ve got a serene, thoughtful, kind, gentle, DS1. Always looks before he leaps. Doesn’t like typical ‘boy things’ and isn’t at all sporty. Adore him and thought he was the greatest boy in the world until DS2 was born.

DS2 is enthusiastic, gregarious and determined. Fears nothing. The glass is always half full and he gives the biggest hugs. Loves dinosaurs and superheroes. Different in so many ways to DS1 and I adore him just as much.

You’ll be fine. There are lots of ways I used to think “I’m glad DS1 isn’t...” which turns out to be exactly what DS2 is like, and I love those qualities in DS2. I loved how sensible DS1 was - DS2 is utterly reckless and I love him for it.

I celebrate the differences in my two DD's everyday - as will you your two sons, congratulations

DS1 and DS2 are as different as two brothers can be. And yet somehow people outside our family keep commenting on how similar they are!
They get along really well... Except when they fight!
It's a delight to see both grow. They have been different from day one, but they make a perfect pair.

Two boys 2.4 years apart. DS2 was a far easier baby, very chilled and still at 15 is a laid back character. Has a great sense of humour. I can see he subconsciously copies DS1 a lot, so get it right with your first and you won't go far wrong.
They're pretty close too, but I think their age gap has always been perfect.

I have 4 years between mine too. It's a great gap because you actually don't end up comparing them that much, nor do they need to compete. My two are quite different people, DS2 much easier baby, not so intense. Or at least we think so. They don't even look that similar. But apparently at big school the teachers instantly recognize him as little brother as soon as he starts talking, so perhaps they're not so different.

My DS2 was the exact opposite for DS1 from the moment he was born.

DS1 came in kicking and screaming after quick labor, 6lb 5oz of outrage at being born. Brand new soul, took a while to learn how to nurse, was a total "by the book" baby, independent sleeper from 10 days old, active, cheeky, coordinated, loud, sporty, incredibly trusting, challenging toddler, tantrummy, and very anxious as a young boy. He's nearly 9 and very much feels his feelings and became far more cuddly from about 3-4 years onward as he started to slow down a little. Before that he wouldn't sit still long enough for a hug!!

DS2 arrived after a slow burn labor, 6lb tiny baby was placed on my chest, looked up at me with wide eyes, took in his surroundings, set up camp on my boob and didn't leave for the whole day. Old soul. A total smiling observer as a baby, rarely cried, hungry All. The. Time. CO-slept because he nursed through the night - now he's 6 1/2 and he's still sneaking into my bed at night, curls up with me like a puppy.
He isn't particularly sporty, is far more imaginative, gets on with everyone, laid back, loves and protects his older brother, questions absolutely everything, is charming and can floor us with the adult humor and gestures that he has absorbed from TV we assume.

They couldn't be more different my two, but my God if they don't love each other fiercely.
I love that they're completely different because there is no comparison. They compliment each other wonderfully!

My second son is our wild child! He is energetic, cheeky, and just a bit mad really! I love him wholeheartedly but he is hard work. But his brother and twin sister are very easy going so a bit of character does us good!

I have two girls and a similar age gap. They are SO different. I think I expected another little DD1, but DD2 is the total opposite to her sister. DD1 is calm, focused, always had a great attention span, loves drawing and plays happily on her own. DD2 is a total bundle of energy, into everything she shouldn’t be, and switched activity every 2 minutes. She loves dressing up (DD1 hated it), princesses (DD1 preferred superhero’s) and is really sociable (DD1 is shy).

But they bring out different sides to each other and even though the youngest isn’t even three yet she seems to bring her older sister out of her comfort zone a bit. I think they’ll clash massively as teenagers but I imagine that’s almost inevitable!

Two boys here. Completely different personalities but both absolutely amazing. As children, one was very outgoing and sociable, whilst the other was quieter and very studious. Both did brilliantly in exams etc but chose very different career paths suited to their personalities. As children and now adults, I couldn't have loved them any more or be prouder of them. I think the key is to understand that perfection isn't one size fits all. Each of your boys will be amazing in different ways - don't expect ds2 to be a carbon copy of ds1, or expect him to 'live up to' the standard of ds1. He will be himself and will have traits that you haven't even thought about yet. Having boys is a wonderful adventure - enjoy it.

Both my (teen) boys are absolutely perfect (imho!)

Both very different but both an absolute delight

Different issues, different strengths but both utterly fabulous

Thanks everyone! I've loved reading all of your replies - your children all sound wonderful, and I can see I am worrying over nothing :)

Two boys and a girl here, all different, all perfect. Not biased at all

I have two boys and had none of these issues OP. Not saying you're worrying over nothing, you've waited a long time for this second child!

I love having two of the same sex (boys for me but two girls would have also been great) but my God, I wish they actually admitted they liked each other! I know they do but Jeez... the bickering...

They are 2.5 years apart.

In all honesty, we totally fucked it up. We expected our second FS to be the same as our first, and had the expectations, despite not really remembering what the older one was like at a similar age. They were only 22 months apart and I think I just didn't give the younger one enough attention. He was awful from about 18 months old and we took a harsh line as that had worked well before, and because his behaviour was so extreme (probably because he didn't get enough attention). We didn't see the child in front of us. He's now 5 and is very hard to manage and often seems unhappy. I often feel very guilty.

My first is a thoughtful kind little geeky sort, he’s sunshine personified. Bright, cheery and just the most happy kid.

However the second is a bit of a box of treasure, you have to be let in, once you are! Oh my gosh, so so good! He gives the best hugs ever, he hugs with his entire being. He’s so kind, and so so thoughtful. He loves plants, loves lego and is just my little delight.

You will love your little boy, he will be a missing piece you didn’t realise you were missing. Congrats OP!

DS1 was a whirlwind, eccentric boy, and loud! When DS2 arrived, DS1 loved him both fiercely and tenderly, and they've been the best buddies since (3 year gap).

DS2 is kind. He is affectionate and thoughtful. He is not as eccentric as DS1, but he is full of confidence and self belief. He is tenacious. He is captain of his football team. But mostly, he is kind.

They are very different, and I love them both. Having 2 boys is lovely.

Same age gap as between my two boys. (I also have two girls
Eldest is funny, engaging, can be a complete pain in the ass and was a dreadful teenager. When his brother was born he was sooo pleased and said 'I love you so much Mummy 'coz you borned Charlie for me.'

Still loves his 'little' brother very much 'little'..he isnt ds2 is quite a lot taller and bigger!

DS2, loving, gentle, autistic, kindest young man you could meet.. and loves his 'big' brother dearly.
They complement each other beautifully.

your DS2 will steal your heart just as thoroughly as your first

This. Just this.

Really enjoying this thread, so full of love and appreciation of the unique characters of our sons

My DS2 is the most confident and consistently happy of my children I think.

It's so nice to read all of these! Makes such a nice change from the threads where people are disappointed not to have a daughter!