Help me stay strong and not tidy the kitchen

[Redraptor]

Everyone in my house is full of cold. i feel rotten. I had very little sleep last night due to looking after dd2. This morning I asked dh to do the dishwasher and wipe down the benches before work. He asked if he could do it later, I asked what time that would be and he said 2pm.

He then went off to work. Came home at 12 for lunch and I said dont forget the dishwasher. His reply was "have you not done it yet?" Obviously hes hoping if he leaves it long enough I'll do it but for once I'm standing firm. I'm not being lazy, I'm doing other things and looking after poorly kids

Dishes have piled up all day from the 4 of us and the benches are gross. I've managed to prepare dinner around the mess but I want to clean it so bad!

Its now 4.15 and hes sitting doing paperwork, by that I mean hes playing on snapchat

I really want to clean it. Tell me not to!

i posted a similar post so feel your pain

OP Leave him to it, have an early night too and catch up on some sleep.

@Jakey056 - I remember your thread well and commented myself at the time that if you were a woman you would receive totally different responses. I hope things are getting better for you.🤞

if you do end up cooking (my fave bit of the domestics) make it really messy and leave it all with the clear expectation he will do it all?

@IlovecatsyesIdo

OP Leave him to it, have an early night too and catch up on some sleep.

@Jakey056 - I remember your thread well and commented myself at the time that if you were a woman you would receive totally different responses. I hope things are getting better for you.🤞

Yup. I am doing well. I took the time to read the post again but I definitely got the rough end of the stick. Now I read the OP's post and the advice is totally different.

Next thing he'll have man flu

It's done! He had it sorted by 5pm, managed to leave one dirty dish on the side, for show I guess 😂 it's made me realise its maybe me with an issue I hate a dirty kitchen 😂

I came back from staying at my sisters for DH to proudly tell me he had done the laundry (his, as i had done all mine and the kids before we went away). He then left the basket of clean laundry expecting me to fold it and put it away.

He made a big show about a week ago that he had to get pants and socks out of the basket. I ignored.

Then he told me he was running out of pants and socks. I replied that was sad.

I left it from Monday 24th until last night. Just because I am a woman doesn’t mean I am the only one who can fold laundry.

I haven’t ironed his shirts and trousers. He left them screwed up for 2 weeks. I am not ironing my clothes, why should I do his? (Incidentally, we both work full time and he doesn’t do his share in the house)

Lol OP the groaning when they have to do something they really cba to and then have to, is all for effect for you to hear! Mine does it too! Never does it any other time.

Mine also wants heaps of praise and probably a gold medal when he does something simple, like put the hoover round for example, I go along with it because it works so well!

Also if I want something doing, or want to buy something, I get the idea into his head that it’s his idea 💡 and he then believes it’s his idea 💡 and it gets done / gets bought! Works every time!

@Jakey056 I've had a look at your thread and I see where you're coming from but I don't think the two situations are that comparable other than being about cleaning. You had a lot more going on. I don't think it's entirely fair to claim different treatment based on being male.

He left one dirty plate?

Bit pissy really that

(@Jakey056 I remember your thread too. It was a bit of a feeding frenzy. Nobody here suggesting partner has MH issues or OP is controlling. I suspect some people take their cue from the first few responses without bothering to read the OP properly.)
OP congratulations for holding out, job well done! Special mention to auditangel too! Although when it's a basket of someone else's laundry, it's easier to ignore it

Well done for holding out.

Leave the dirty plate there. Petty bastard.
Do not move it or wash it.

@Redraptor

It's done! He had it sorted by 5pm, managed to leave one dirty dish on the side, for show I guess 😂 it's made me realise its maybe me with an issue I hate a dirty kitchen 😂

I’m glad he actually got most of it bar one plate done! But what is your plan going forward? Surely you need to discuss what is fair in the future? You should not need to constantly remind him when you are ill and he should pull his weight.

My other hand just gets on with it. My only bugbear is he won’t do the bathroom or cook. He was unemployed for a few months and coming home to him sitting on his arse and having to start dinner after working and commuting really got on my tits. He can cook but claims he can’t.