Nasty Mother in law please help

[Mamma2009]

Looking for some advice. I'm currently pregnant and due any day. We got married last year and his mother was a nightmare. Tried to take over the whole wedding etc. Things didn't go her way and she went bizzerk and tell out with us. I honestly thought it would have worn off etc, she continued to turn up at our wedding not speak to us make us feel awkward all day and her tribe of daughters. She was meant to supply the cake but decided last minute that we aren't having one unless we did things her way. So we didn't have one as I'm not giving into threats. I can't even look at our wedding pictures as it brings back so many awful memories of them all. Any who, she was awful all day etc. Then was writing all over social media her and her daughters about how bad I am etc. (how embarrassing) then after that left my daughter out on Christmas, but bought for my step son. She purposely left my daughter out. My husband cut her off for a while, but since being pregnant she's been buying loads of stuff which I wish she didn't. I don't want anything from her. My husband is now sympathising with her and talking to her. He wants his newborn to have a relationship with her. I understand our son will need both grandparents but the thought of having her at my house after everything she's done, the damage she's caused etc I can't hack it. How do I approach my husband on this? Shes his only parent. Am I right to not want her in my house when I've just given birth and recovering. There has been no apology at all from her to me. I can't wait to meet my son but I'm also dreading it due to seeing her. She smokes in her house so won't be allowing my son up there. Please help

Your DH is the key to this. He needs to be the buffer between you and MIL. He needs to support you absolutely, and to not allow her to abuse you further.
If she visits your house to see her GS, let DH handle the conversation and interaction - you can go “grey rock”. That means having as little to do with her as possible - either be in a different room, or don’t initiate any conversation with her, and just reply to any of her questions with the absolute minimum of yes/no or vague generalities.
If MIL actually wanted a fresh start and made a genuine apology, it would be different, but she sounds very narcissistic- it’s all about her, and such people never accept they are in the wrong. All you can do is minimise contact.
The time may come when she escalates her unpleasantness to the point that DH no longer wants contact, which would make life much easier as both of you could go no contact with her. But until then, you need to find a way to manage the situation.
Decide how often you are prepared to put up with her visiting, and make clear to DH that she is not to come round uninvited.
When your son is older, be aware that MIL may try to poison him against you, by undermining your parenting or criticising you as a person. Such people can be very manipulative. She may even try to break you and DH up. It certainly sounds like she didn’t approve of the marriage or you!

Your husband sounds bloody useless. You have the right to refuse visits until you feel physically and mentally well enough. You will be the one recovering from childbirth and if your husband puts his mother’s wants over your needs, then you’ve got bigger problems than a disgusting mil. You need to make it plain to him now, that you’re not prepared to have her in your home, until you feel well enough recovered. If you don’t stand up for yourself now, before baby comes, you’ll be left with even more resentment.

Her reaction to being told that she has to give you space for a few days, after the birth will be a good indicator of her genuine feelings towards you. Point that out to your husband.

Has she apologised to you for being a complete cow?

Thank you all for your messages. @Suzi888 she hasn't apologised. My husband said that if you're expecting an apology from her good luck as she never apologises. I can see a massive rift happening between me and my husband. I'm dreading this.

As much as I hate the phrase ‘man up’ that’s what he needs to do! Otherwise she will think she can walk all over you. It needs to start with an apology from her.
I’d want a very distant relationship even then!

Op, you don't have to do anything.

As pp said, genuine apology needed not entitled behaviour.

A pp said to her Mil, your relationship with my child is my gift to you, not your right and its a right I will remove if you speak to me like that again.