What does a mother's help do?

[Bryyy]

I've googled this but a nanny told me I was nuts, so hopefully MNNS have a better idea :)

So as far as I'm aware they keep an eye on the children as well as some basic house chores or washing up, hoovering, putting clothes away while I'm still more or less available/ at home.

So I'd still bath/feed the baby and do more in depth house work.

Said nanny friend said that what I wanted was a cleaner or a nanny but that nobody would do both.

In my experience of both being a mother's help and having a mother's help, they tend to be there to help with the kids, housework, cooking or whatever you ask but a parent is also there or in the vicinity most or all of the time.

A nanny has sole charge of the children and is entirely responsible for them during the time they are working.

It's very hard to get a cleaner/nanny as not many people are willing to do both or able to do both jobs well. I've been looking for years and not found one. They definitely do exist but very rare.

Exactly I think the key is that the parent is always or most of the time around.

A Mother's Help primarily does childcare but is usually supervised by a parent (if they wfh for example) as they generally have no qualifications like a Nanny so will be given specific instructions rather than free reign. They would also do housework relating to the children such as tidying and cleaning their room, washing their clothes, cooking their meals.

Yes I WFH so that's why it's more cost efficient than a nursery/nanny.

I don't think if you work from home a mother's help is right. The point with a mothers help is you're there minding the baby alongside them, not that you're in another room working and just pop out. They're helping, not doing solo, if that makes sense.

I actually think your friend is right and you need a nanny and a cleaner.

But if you're still looking after the children what's the point then?

Mothers helps are primarily for people with quite young babies like newborns of multiple children- so it's literally, you tidy up after lunch while I try to burb the baby and put them down for their nap, I'll put on this laundry and make a cup of tea and let you sit on the couch eating chocolate and trying to establish breastfeeding. That sort of thing.

My work setup does let me work around the children and I work in the same room as the baby when he's happy to just crawl around but for example knstey if waiting around until he falls asleep for his nap, she'd be able to do that

If you’re working then you need a nanny. If you want tidying/ cleaning done you hire a cleaner. A mother’s help is to literally help you as you take the primary lead in looking after the children. So if you have very small babies and toddlers or multiples and you need more than two hands - you hold the baby whilst I put the toddler down for their nap and read a story to the preschooler, or you rock this twin while I feed the other twin - type of thing.

Ok so it looks like the term is ambiguous in nature. I've been clear that I'll be working from home. The baby still takes long naps so that's when is expect them to do very light house chores.

I always think a mother's help is more for twins / triplets, so when a parent is at home but needs a pair of hands.
Or at the other end, for young tweens who need someone to open the front door and feed them after school until a parent gets home.
In your situation you'll need a nanny and cleaner really.

I would advertise for a nanny/housekeeper but explain that you mostly work from home and you need them to look after the house whilst the baby is asleep and you are on hand if they are doing housework and the baby urgently needs something

Exactly - some of the replies on mumsnet make no sense.

A mother's help is sort of like a house keeper. They mainly help with chores, cooking and light babysitting but I wouldn't expect them to sit down and engage and play with a child. They tend to leave the child to play on their own and just check they are not in any danger.

The ladies who are coming for a trial day are all nannies by trade. They're salary expectations are something I can afford at a stretch but the lady who wants to be paid the most I also have to collect and drop off (I'm going that way anyways) but to me just because of that she should lower her rates. And I don't even know if I'm allowed to collect her due to the current restrictions.

I had a mothers help when mine were babies- she was a nanny by trade but charged less as a mothers help. She did no housework bar maybe washing the kids dishes and tidying toys. We would go out for the day etc so I had an extra pair of hands. Occasionally I'd leave them for an hour or so to go shopping or get my hair cut.

Said nanny friend said that what I wanted was a cleaner or a nanny but that nobody would do both.

No, a lot of people won't want to do both and also work with the boss right there. Sounds shit, tbh.

I'd only expect them to do housework related to the children - cooking meals and tidying up after them, washing their dishes etc. I wouldn't expect them to wash up my pots or do my laundry.

I'd only expect them to do housework related to the children - cooking meals and tidying up after them, washing their dishes etc. I wouldn't expect them to wash up my pots or do my laundry.

That's nursery duties. A nanny normally does nursery duties related to the children.

So what would she be expected to do while he naps? Which can be up to three hours and falls asleep between 10 and 11 so it's not like I can predict it.

If you want someone to engage and play with your child for 35 hours per week whilst you work you need a nanny not a mother's help. Sorry I know that's not what you wanted to hear!

Nope actually that's not what I want... I want someone who can help me look after him while I engage with work but it's always on and off. And he does nap very long hours BUT I need help with that transition between awake and asleep as that can go on forever and he doesn't need to be engaged. He just needs like. "soothing company"

I usually fold clothes while he's falling asleep but that can take up to 90 mins. If the could help me with that plus his long napive covered 75% of my working hours.

I’ve had a couple and they’ve done anything (but not cleaners things like bathrooms/cookers/windows). Have had solecare at times, so perfect if you’re working from home. Rates were not dis-similar to normal nanny rates though.

Well if that's what you had @underneaththeash that sounds perfect ;)

Why don't you advertise for a house keeper / mothers help and see what response you get? That will be a better indication if what you're looking for is out there rather than mumsnet