Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Gimme some comebacks for this...

31 replies

Comvit · 03/09/2020 10:53

There's a bloke who works in the local park where I walk my dog. I see him most mornings. He's a nice enough bloke but sometimes come out with things that are a bit sexist that I'm slow with a come back. There are two reasons - firstly that I'm knackered first thing in the morning walking the dog and second because I was brought up to be polite, nice and ladylike which is still haunting me at the age of 40.

Example... I've been having my house renovated since February. He knows this. The other day I said I was getting impatient for it all to end now. He said, "I bet you're always on at your husband aren't you?" I said "No of course not" but after I got home I was kicking myself for not being more forthright.

Another example... we were chatting about pubs opening. I said I don't really go to the pub much. He said "But when you do I bet you get sozzled on spritzers" or something like that. I said "No, I don't really drink". He said "Yeah right". It pissed me off that I wasn't quicker to come back.

I know this all sounds very innocuous and first-world-problems but it pisses me off that (a) he makes remarks that he absolutely wouldn't make to a man, (b) he makes huge assumptions which he wouldn't make about a man, and (c) that I'm too slow with come backs that'd shut him up.

Grrr.

I need some stock phrases, MN, to shut him up and stop me being such a polite lady Angry

OP posts:
WhatNoWay · 03/09/2020 10:56

Sorry can't help with comebacks but I would just avoid talking to him - what a prick. Hope you'll get some advice here.

Itsrainingnotmen · 03/09/2020 10:56

Fill an empty vodka bottle with water and take it next time...
Grin

Bluntness100 · 03/09/2020 10:57

Meh, he’s just a random making small talk, really why are you giving it so much focus.

MsWonderful · 03/09/2020 10:57

Just walk briskly past him and don’t engage. He sounds incredibly boring

WorraLiberty · 03/09/2020 10:59

He doesn't sound like your kind of person so just start avoiding him.

If you haven't got the comebacks/banter, you can't really 'learn and rehearse' them if that makes sense.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 03/09/2020 10:59

Sometimes I think "Whatever" works as well as anything. I don't think you can reason with stupid. Grin

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 03/09/2020 11:00

I wouldn't bother with comebacks. Just don't talk to him. He sounds tedious.

Mamette · 03/09/2020 11:00

I think he’s trying to flirt with you Smile

Saucery · 03/09/2020 11:02

Laugh and say “No, of course not, how old fashioned to think that!”.

justilou1 · 03/09/2020 11:02

“Do you mean to sound so stupid?”

FatCatThinCat · 03/09/2020 11:04

I wouldn't use a comeback. Just give him a tut of disapproval/eye roll/"whatever" and walk away, stopping the conversation dead. Then avoid next time.

Comvit · 03/09/2020 12:35

Thank you! I do try to avoid him but he's all over the place in the park. I know you'll all say to take the dog elsewhere but my dog genuinely howls at the park gates if we don't go on a given morning morning. She misses her doggy chums Grin

I get what you mean about don't bother with comebacks, I meant more what can I say to him (love the suggestions of an eye roll, 'whatever' or 'how incredibly old fashioned' thank you!!). I'm not after witty comebacks as such because that's not the kind of person I am.

@bluntness100 Meh, he’s just a random making small talk, really why are you giving it so much focus
I'm focusing because it pisses me off that he's rude and that I'm too slow to comeback with anything Grin. I don't think it is small talk to suggest I'm "always getting on at my husband" - it's rude and hugely assumptive. Small talk is about the dog, the weather, the local news etc.

@Itsrainingnotmen Grin I might just try that.

OP posts:
Bluesheep8 · 03/09/2020 13:40

How does he know you're having your house renovated?
Why would some random bloke who works in a park where you happen to walk know this?

Stompythedinosaur · 03/09/2020 13:42

I find "That's a strange thing to say" works well.

I am stealing the comment about being old fashioned for my own use!

JaneJeffer · 03/09/2020 13:44

What's his job in the park? Is it something you can tell him he missed a bit as you walk away?

Kreacheriscleaning · 03/09/2020 14:03

I tend to say, “sorry I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

They generally start stuttering some crap about “nothing really” and then shuffle off.

DeeTractor · 03/09/2020 14:05

Why are you even entertaining this idiot

notthemum · 03/09/2020 14:12

Oh dear. I'm afraid that first thing in the morning I really couldn't be bothered.
So any of these would need no further communication. 1)
''Fuck off."
2)"Didn't your mother teach you if you can't say something nice keep your mouth shut"
3) "Twat".

TheyThoughtItWasAllOver · 03/09/2020 14:21

I think I would just say:
"I'm not in the mood to talk today" or "Can't stop today. Take care." if that's not polite enough.
And repeat it every day until he gets the hint. Anything you say as a comeback is unlikely to make any impact on his sexism and you can then divert your thoughts away from his comments and how to reply/how you wished you'd replied.

Nicolastuffedone · 03/09/2020 14:24

Smile, nod and get on with your day.....

Happynow001 · 03/09/2020 14:43

Earphones or noise cancelling headphones OP. Then you can go past him at a brisk pace listening (or not) listening to music/a podcast.

Comvit · 03/09/2020 14:48

How does he know you're having your house renovated?
Why would some random bloke who works in a park where you happen to walk know this?

Because one day I walked through the park mid-morning (I usually walk the dog 7 or 8am) without my dog (I was going to pick something up) and covered in crap (I was stripping wood chip wallpaper). He, understandably, commented that I was late today and I replied that I was stripping wallpaper and just picking up supplies.

Then the next few times I saw him, he asked how decorating was going. So that's how he knows.

OP posts:
Comvit · 03/09/2020 14:49

What's his job in the park? Is it something you can tell him he missed a bit as you walk away? I'm not sure really. Ostensibly I think he's a park keeper maintenance man but I've only ever really seen him empty the bins and then chat to everyone who walks by whether they want it or not.

OP posts:
ReasonablyUnreasonable · 03/09/2020 14:54

Just come up with some rubbish in response:
"My wife always says I'm moaning at her!"
"Actually, my lover's helping me whilst DH is at work"
A bit of shock factor should shut him up!

Okayokayok · 03/09/2020 15:03

Sounds like he's just trying to wind you up a bit, I would just laugh him off and not give it another thought. Giving up come backs will only encourage him tbh he will just see it as banter and most likely enjoy it lol

Swipe left for the next trending thread