Dishonouring my family

[Stargazer2404]

hi

Apparently im dishonouring, and embarrassing my family because ive put an application to CMS for ex to pay £179 a month for his son

I come from a very OLD FASHIONED, backwards family sadly. Ex does not pay a single penny. I never asked but as my circumstances changed i requested 100 a month. He refused, went to CMS and now theyre writing to him etc

My mother calls me and says 'you are embarrassing us, you make it seem like you are greedy for money' .. she is begging me to withdraw the application.

Its my decision of course, but i just wanted to vent. I wish i could pick my family. My mother also disowned me for being with my current partner because hes of a different religion. She disowned me for a whole year!!

I am a fool for even allowing her back in my life. I feel like shit.. im sorry

What religion are we talking about here?

this is the wierdest post ive read in a while :S your mum sounds deranged ... a man should pay for his child just as much as you do.

And i would tell your mum to do one if she believes her grandchild shouldnt be paid for then she doesnt get to see him/her.

Op I think that your mum's behaviour here is just the tip of the iceberg. Are you ok?

Time for you to disown your mum

I'm guessing you are Asian and she is still embarrassed about you divorcing. Unfortunately I know several Asian women who have had to completely distance from family after divorce, even though one had severe domestic violence because the family said they had brought shame on the family by splitting. It's cultural but so wrong. Distance yourself from family, claim child support and get on with your life. Take care

This is so misogynistic, this whole notion that women and children and their needs are bottom of the pile. Your parents should be looking out for the well-being of you and your child, not defending and actively ENCOURAGING the dereliction of duty by the father.
This is a very sick and abhorrent way to go about things, no matter which culture happens to be carrying this out. Children are the most vulnerable in society and need the support of both parents. What you are dealing with is very warped. I would say so and tell them the case is closed and you will not be entertaining any more discussions about this.

Nothing to feel worried or guilt tripped about, I would allow yourself the luxury of actually being justifiably angry on your child's behalf - that is you taking care of your parental responsibility in a healthy way. Stand up for yourself. Nip it in the bud now. Be strong.

Well done for standing up for your child who needs you to do so. Pat on the back. You've got this.

(Unless you a worried about intimidation or threats, then that is something the police are exceptionally good at taking care of, rather than yourself...)

How sad, OP, that your mother is not as good a parent to you as you are to your child. Don't let anyone put you off doing the right thing for yourself and your son. 🌹

Ask her if a child dying from hunger is more embarrassing than a man paying to keep his child.
You deserve every penny, and I hope it's lots of pennies.
I'd go NC and tell her why.