Am I weird or is this odd toileting behaviour?

[Varenne]

Ok so this is a totally random one and sorry if I'm putting anyone off tea, but where better to ask than the hive mind of Mumsnet. I recently learned (through conversation, not through first hand observation ) that a friend wipes standing up. For both scenarios. I was gobsmacked, didn't know this was a thing!

Am I the odd one out in sitting down? I'm so confused, it feels like my life may have been a lie who else has heard of this?

My husband and I have spent many an hour discussing this. I do it the right way he does it the wrong way....obviously.

Can i throw in a 3rd way? Squatting on the toilet seat........ it really is a thing in some cultures.

And it's very difficult to persuade a thoroughly English DH that you really would like a squatting toilet because it's so much more comfortable.....

I use a bidet.

Standing is with legs apart, obviously (or not obvious given above posts).

I don't see how anyone can sit and wipe their backside unless they're very small, as there's hardly a gap between bum and seat unless you shuffle forward enabling wee on the toilet seat and by the time you've done that you might as well stand...

@falcon5

And it's very difficult to persuade a thoroughly English DH that you really would like a squatting toilet because it's so much more comfortable.....

My knees wouldn't cope with that.

DP said he rests one buttock on the toilet seat and one in the air

Use both methods - depends on my flexibility and cubicle size (elbow bashing not my thing).

I squit rather than squand. You'd probably say that I sit, but I shuffle and lift my bottom slightly.

Bunch of peasants. I use the fufu dryer 3000

I do want one of those Japanese toilets that gives you a wash down there...

🤣

@EggysMom

I squit rather than squand. You'd probably say that I sit, but I shuffle and lift my bottom slightly.

If you’ve got the squirts, don’t shuffle and lift your bum

I use the bristly stick thing in that container next to the loo and you have to stand in order to get a 'clean sweep' with it. You can't do it any other way.

I felt this way when I found out that lots of people wear knickers under their pyjamas

I sit but lift right bum cheek slightly off the loo seat

I've never thought about this before!

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat

I use the bristly stick thing in that container next to the loo and you have to stand in order to get a 'clean sweep' with it. You can't do it any other way.

Are you giving yourself a smear test? This is the reality of the Covid world...

My arse is too big to wipe whilst sitting.

Haha the topics you find on here.

I stand, I'm overweight and have no access to wipe while still seated lol. I have no problem with random poo and drips down legs?? 😯 as mentioned by pp's I've usually finished before I start to wipe 😂

I sit but when I was heavily pregnant I had to stand 🤭

There are people out there who don't wipe at all OP..........

I honestly didn’t know people stood!!! this has blown my mind?!

This thread has unexpected made me laugh 😂.
@Fatted - people don't wipe 😵

I'm wondering what your reaction will be when you think about all the other variables and combinations.. standing vs sitting, reach around vs reach through, front-to-back vs back-to-front, wipe vs wash, etc.

@Fatted

There are people out there who don't wipe at all OP..........

Having lived somewhere where a hole in the ground and a little hose was pretty standard, that's not so much of a surprise to me.

For whoever called me a "poo troll", ouch, burn.

And for those who were equally surprised, you're welcome / sorry.

Kind of wish I'd titled the thread more generally around "dull information that blows your mind", as I didn't know that not wearing knickers under pyjamas was a thing either!