Stressed about baby's biological father

[WorrysumOne]

Hi All,

Firstly I beg not to be judged (trust me I'm doing a great job of that all by myself).
So last June I slpt with a friend (who is also married), it was during my fertile period but he pulled out. I was not on the pill (yea sounds like I was trying to get pregnant which i wasn't) i got my period 2 weeks later. it was actually due on the 2 july according to my cycle but it only came on the 5th july. it was pretty normal. I know dh and i didnt have sex around that time. fast forward early Aug i didnt get my period so i took a test and it was positive. i had a beta hcg test done which confirmed i was 5-6 weeks pregnant (4 weeks post conception) which was accurate from my lmp and having slept with dh. (sorry tmi)
i worked out my due date around the 10th of april, had my 1st scan and gynae gave me a due date of 3rd April. It wasnt even a thought in my mind about baby being my friends. Come Jan this yr my scans seemed to have moved up by 4 weeks. thats when i started calculating and according to calculations i would've fallen pregnant in june. I was realllly stressed and started experiencing early labor signs. Baby was born in Feb at my 34 weeks calculation but dr said he's 38 weeks. he was fine but just quite small compared to my first baby.
I am sooo confused and stressed. I know i've made a huge mistake and hate myself for it everyday.
How did i get a period in july, how did the hcg test indicate i was 6 weeks pregnant when if i did fall pregnant in june should have been 9 weeks pregnant. My baby doesnt look like either dh or i. but there are some genetic traits like dh and my older son have dimples and so does baby, they all have long lashes. I try to convince myself that he IS dh baby but i keep questioning the dates and his early delivery. I did speak to my friend (not so much friends now) and he is willing to do a test but i am sooo scared of the outcome. we are both married, and have families and i do not want to ruin our marriages but if i do find out he is the father it will eat me up forever to keep it quiet.

Please help

You know this is going to have to come out op, if the friend is the father? You should have been honest at the time so at least everyone could be prepared, obviously there’s not much you can do about that now. I’m thinking it’s best to let your partner know now and decide what you want to do (he may not even want to find out who’s it actually is), though I guess you don’t want to go down that route. So perhaps get the test done and go from there. If it turns out to be the other mans though, you really need to start being honest. It would be horrendous to trick your oh into raising another mans baby without his knowledge. There’s a good chance he’ll find out some years down the line which will make it even worse.

Tbh, there could be genetic repercussions over not knowing and you will forever drive yourself mad. Get the DNA test done and either put your mind at rest or deal with the situation.

Rather than going over it constantly in your mind go for a DNA test that’s the only way you’ll know. Dh doesn’t have to know (unless baby isn’t his). Periods in early pregnancy are normal and are usually implantation bleeding so don’t rule out OM until you get the dna results. Good luck