"I'm doing this for your own good"

[Letmegetthisrightasawoman]

This was suggested to me as an appropriate comment to make to discipline teenagers (along with "I'm doing this because I care about you"). To me, it sounded very creepy, like the thing an abuser would say to their victim. Am I being overly sensitive?

'I'm strongly advising you to follow this course of action because I've been around the block way more than you, and I know that you'd be well advised to do what I'm telling you to.'

And 'I want you to have high standards for yourself'

I have been known to say, to a stroppy teenager being forced into slave labour.....sorry, I mean loading the dishwasher, "One day you will be grateful to me for not allowing you to grow up a lazy dickhead".

Not quite the same phrasing but I think covers the thrust of the message :o

@PyongyangKipperbang

I have been known to say, to a stroppy teenager being forced into slave labour.....sorry, I mean loading the dishwasher, "One day you will be grateful to me for not allowing you to grow up a lazy dickhead".

Not quite the same phrasing but I think covers the thrust of the message :o

Tempting, I'm not gonna lie...😂

His response?

I had been totally out of order because I called him a dickhead.

No, I cant work it out either.....

I agree with all of the above.

There is something about it that implies a personal/ intimate knowledge of the student, and that you know them better than they know themselves.

Plus it's patronising

I've never used this on my teens because I hated it myself. It's just a pretext to control another person because you want them to choose behaviour that better suits yourself, mostly. It didn't work on me much at all so I don't use it on my kids.

I actually had someone use it on me recently, regarding my son. I'd have had more respect had he just told me he didn't like it than try to dress it up as concern. Bullshit. Ended up sacking him for that reason.

It was said to me years ago. My (unsaid) response was "Yeah, whatever." Don't use it and be a bit suspicious of whoever suggested it. They sound a bit of an idiot.

It sounds creepy because it means "you are making me have to do this" which is classic abuser territory.

In the end, I suppose anyone managing discipline would say that it is for the ultimate good of the recipient, to push them to perform better, not to wreck their life etc etc. But in the context of a punishment this sounds creepy.

I have brought up my well behaved, considerate, kind, hard working, high achieving kids without ever once imposing a punishment. I trusted them to understand fully what I had to say to them about behaviour. I can't bear the whole "I am now going to do something horrible to you" and following it with something that means "and you have made me have to do it" is creepy, and dishonest - if you decide to impose something horrible on someone, take responsibility for it!

I can understand in a context of “the rules are for your own safety” eg hair being tied back in practical lessons, but yes, it does otherwise have some creepy undertones.