My granny

[mahclickypen]

She’s 90 this week, but she’s got rapidly advancing Alzheimer’s, she’s confused and suddenly so very old and just looks so tired .

I was talking to her on the phone a few days ago, reminding her of time we spent together when I was tiny, and she said; ‘these grandparents of yours sound very special indeed’ . I broke my heart, because I realised she didn’t know I was talking about her - I desperately wanted to say, ‘it’s you - you’re my granny’ but it would have been futile .

Sometimes on the phone she seems to know who we are; and she has a sudden flash of memory - other times she just has no idea .

She has always been a very eccentric lady; came from a background of very hard working labour supporters and trade unionists . She has this fantastic mix of being very well educated in private schools, having been taught deportment and elocution and having spent her entire life visiting and working in museums and galleries - she has an incredible knowledge . She knows all manner of things - she was a scout leader, involved with church, a mountain climber ... She always had a song, poem or a bit of Latin/French - even last week she was inserting Latin into every second sentence ...

She has retained a great deal - even as she’s aged she can take so eloquently, with a distinct Edinburgh accent and still even now will say things in such a quaint way . Sort of like an old BBC presenter !

She’s just wonderful in every way and to me as a child, she was absolutely perfect .

I know she can’t be with us forever and I know she’s so elderly, but I was sitting with her on Saturday, looking at photos, and I felt, I could be with her everyday and it still wouldn’t be enough . She’s being moved to a care home soon, I know I won’t be able to visit her and it feels like I’m grieving her almost . Just heartbroken .

I’m her eldest granddaughter - some twenty years between me and the youngest, and I so wish there was some way to capture the essence of her, to share that, but how can you ? It doesn’t seem possible somehow .

You'll keep her in your heart

My Grandma died age 92 - bless her she was very poorly at the end.
I was very sad - I was the eldest grandchild too and it felt a bit daft being so upset about losing your grandma when you were in your 40s. But now I can remember her as she was and be happy that I got to know her as an adult (something I missed with my granddad).

I'm very sorry for what you are going through, your granny sounds like the most wonderful woman.
Can you record any conversations (after my mum died I was desperate to have her voice) .

You wrote about her so beautifully, she sounds like a wonderful person.
I also adored my nan and still miss her. The memories are special though

@BaldAndWild

I'm very sorry for what you are going through, your granny sounds like the most wonderful woman. Can you record any conversations (after my mum died I was desperate to have her voice) .

Funny - my aunt suggested that . We have videos of her with my sister and I recorded 1991 or so - one fantastic video of her singing and dancing Head Shoulders Knees and Toes in operatic tones, me aged about 2 sat on the floor looking up at her as if to say, where did this one come from ? My granda sat at the side looking on with a very perplexed expression . Honestly if you think of Hyacinth Bucket ...

I might ring her tomorrow and try and ask her some questions about her mum and dad maybe .. she remembers them so clearly - and try and record her somehow .

My granda died years ago too, about 2000 or so . I was much too small to attend his funeral and never really knew him - and most of his grandchildren don’t remember him at all, so I do feel very fortunate in that sense .

Fortunate that I can remember him and have photos with him, and my gran, I mean - my youngest cousins aren’t yet 16 even (funny age gaps in family) and will have always known granny as being elderly and confused, sadly .

Op i think i understand how you feel, i feel this way about my mum. She is 94 and still has her marbles but she is growing frailer all the time. It's hard to imagine someone who is an absolute power house of a person, who has led an interesting life, can be just gone, just like that. All those ideas, memories, connections, gone in a flash. A recording is a good idea, or perhaps you could write everything you know about her life in a book and add any photos you have of her. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. She sounds like an amazing lady.

I lost my Nan in December, she had Alzheimer's too but in the end she had a stroke we weren't expecting at all. I think of her every day. She was only 78.

The hardest part of Alzheimer's is when the person you love doesn't recognise you I think, and seeing how upset she got when she had moments where she remembered the Alzheimer's and there was nothing we could do to help.

You should definitely try to record her, I wish I had taken more pics and videos, if only we had more time. I love hearing her voice on videos now. We found a diary of hers from 1982 at the weekend and it was an amazing insight to her life and it was wonderful to have.

I really miss my granny. When I had my first son I used to ring her quite often and she'd give me funny WW2 era parenting advice which I never took her up on!! Definitely try and make a recording of yours, take some photos etc. I do wish I had more to show my sons about our family as my granny in particular was incredible - she was the most Eastern stationed nurse in Burma/that region during ww2 and met my grandfather when he was shot. But so little is written down. Her sister is still alive, 97 I think. Going to write to her tomorrow because you've reminded me of how important they are