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my lawnmower is a total dick

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SenselessUbiquity · 31/08/2020 18:52

It practically jumped up and smiled at me when I suggested it cut the front grass. No problem.
Took it round the back and the fucker WILL NOT start. I have an achey arm, skin missing on my finger and I am in a bad fucking mood. The thing is sitting there looking sullen at me and all the neighbours hate me as they've just had to listen to that awful fruitless starter noise for what feels like about 4 hours.

lawnmower, what do you WANT? and WHY are you such a DICK?

What objects are DICKS in your life?

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