Husband help

[Mollyandmack50]

Out of interest.. How much does your DH or OH contribute to the house work etc. Today I'm sick of being a forever cleaning, washing, cooking, washing up robot whilst he sits on his big fat ar*e doing FA, I've asked him countless times to help he says yes in a minute.. Never gets done. Tomorrow I'm going on strike and leaving him with the kids and going out for the day. I'd like to hear how much your husbands and partners do in the household.

Dh is much cleaner and tidier than me. One adult dd living with us, no small children. we have a cleaner every 3 weeks but he does most of the laundry and ironing and clears up after dinner. He is more likely to do extra cleaning between the cleaner coming. I meal plan and shop and cook and do the garden + manage finances, savings etc.

Mine hoovers, clears up after dinner, fills/empties the dishwasher, takes out the bins, cleans one of the bathrooms, changes bedding. He also works long hours and I don't work at all. I do pretty much everything else apart from dusting as DD1 does that along with some other things. We all work together in this house as we all like things kept clean and tidy.

I meant DD2 and didn't add that she is an adult who also works full time.

He does all the washing up and laundry. I do the floors, dust and clean the bathrooms. We share the cooking and bedmaking.

He does the lion's share of the cooking, we do the groceries together, he tends to put a wash on in the weekend, and he does the lawn. He's more than happy to do more, but I'm not in work, and he does bloody long hours, albeit working from home, so that would seem a bit on the nose to me.

I work so hard to keep our home tidy. My mum was a housewife and we basically grew up in a show home so her attitude to cleaning has rubbed off on me and I think he takes that for granted. He works full time very long hours.. But I also work too.. I think we'll be having "the chat" soon.

I do all the laundry, he does all the diy. The rest of the cooking, cleaning and childcare is more or less 50/50 depending who's busiest.

My DH works full time whilst I'm part time, he still does half the cooking, cleaning, hoovering, bath times etc. I don't ask him to do these things he just gets on and does it himself but he is overall tidier than me.

You're using the wrong word. You don't want him to 'help' you.

He's an adult living in a house and it's as much his responsibility as yours. He is currently expecting the housework fairy to wave her magic wand. What you want is for him to be doing his fair share. You won't get him to change his mindset if you ask him to 'help'.

At the moment, everything domestic is your domain (in his eyes at least) and he's not interested in mucking in. As far as he's concerned it is all wifework.

You need to lay it on the line.

Tomorrow I'm going on strike and leaving him with the kids and going out for the day.
Have a good day tomorrow OP. Don't make things too easy for him before you go - he needs to take on some of the mental load too.

Hope the chat afterwards goes in the direction you need it to. 🌹

If you asked DH he would say he does lots. He doesn’t. He just does “big” jobs like DIY. I do all the childcare, all the food shops, all the laundry etc.
Before we went out today I done a load of laundry and hung online, bathed DD and got her sorted, cleaned out the kitchen and bathroom.
Since we’ve been home I’ve cooked dinner, washed up, dried up, hoovered through and now about to do bed time. He’s watched cricket.

You're not wanting him to 'help' you. You're wanting him to assume a fairer share of the combined responsibilities of the household. He can even vacuum with one hand, with the other wrapped round his willie to reassure himself that it won't fall off, doing 'women's work'.