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Original poster

In your opinion... Is it harder...

30 replies

Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 14:29

To be a stay at home parent or a working parent.. Particularly targeted at lone parents.. But anyone can comment of course. I am a single working mother and by the end of the day I feel destroyed.. I am interested in others views and opinions.

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 30/08/2020 14:30

Working. You are basically doing two jobs.

mallowa · 30/08/2020 14:31

do you work from home? how old is your DC?

I'd say harder to be a working parent, either way, whilst they are very young.

I'm a LP and it's so hard to juggle.

If you minus the work out of the equation so much less pressure! In some ways work is an escape, but not if you don't have support to carry it out or suitable childcare etc.

AppleKatie · 30/08/2020 14:32

This is such a personal thing.

I would find it harder to be a SAHM. Others would find it impossible to work.

Does it matter at the end of the day?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
formerbabe · 30/08/2020 14:33

Depends on your childcare arrangements. I found working easier in the sense I was out of the house and work was easier than looking after a toddler...the hard part was that he was at a childminders and I was on a tight schedule to drop off and pick up and the trains were always fucked Angry

Farlow · 30/08/2020 14:34

I work part time, it’s the perfect balance for me.

Original poster
Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 14:34

DC is 2, I do 2 days at office and 2 days at home, its a 2 hour commute each way to the office.. After nursery pick up, we have play time for half an hour, bottle, bath then bedtime.. That's even before I've taken my work clothes off. Then, I shower, put wash on tidy up, make dinner for myself, eat, clean up kitchen, hang washing up, then it's usually 9.30/10pm before I sit down to watch a bit of TV.. By which point I'm falling asleep and drooling everywhere 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 14:36

And yes.. Fkd up trains ruin absolutely everything!!!!

OP posts:
AnnaSW1 · 30/08/2020 14:37

having done both I find it harder being a working parent

Original poster
Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 14:38

Although saying that.. When I was a stay at home parent before going back to work.. Life was like a military operation 😂

OP posts:
TallRedCandlestick · 30/08/2020 14:39

Having done SAHM, f/t and p/t work as a a lone parent, I'd say it's harder working unless you can do part time, in which case work is a mental lifesaver!

DamnShesaSexyChick · 30/08/2020 14:40

Definitely being a working parent.

ImNotWhoYouThinkIam · 30/08/2020 14:40

Depends on ages of children. What hours you work. How stressful your job is. What other help you have.
I've been a single sahm to preschoolers, a single student Mum when they were at primary, a part time working single Mum and a full time working single Mum.
I didn't find working harder than not working. But I worked 3x15 hour days and the dc stayed at my mums when I was working. So i didn't have to work all day and then cook a meal when I got home ( I ate at work and just had toast if I was peckish when I got home). The DC stayed at my mums house so there wasn't a load of housework generated by them being at home when I worked.
We effectively had an almost 50/50 set up. They had clothes, toys etc in both houses.

In some ways being at college was hardest. I had to drop them at school at 8.50 at the very latest. I then had 10 mins to get to college and up to the far end of the 3rd floor for my first lesson. One day per week I had to make sure I left college on time to pick them up from ASC. I didnt have a laptop or Internet at home so stayed late a lot to use the college computers.

AlexaShutUp · 30/08/2020 14:45

Depends on your job and also on your children. Easy job/demanding kids - I'm guessing that working is easier. Demanding job/easy kids - staying at home is obviously easier.

I have always worked in challenging roles, and my one dd has always been delightful, fun and well behaved. Obviously, sah looks like a long holiday to me. It will look different to others, depending on their experience and circumstances.

On balance, I think working is probably harder for most people as there is inevitably more pressure and more to juggle. However, if you have several very young children, or children with complex needs, then I'm sure that staying at home can be very tough as well, especially if you have no partner to help.

Original poster
Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 14:46

@ImNotWhoYouThinkIam from your posts seems like you've done so much to give yourself and DC a really good life :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 14:49

Just to say, irrespective of this post. Stay at home, working.. We're all mums and we all do a wonderful job ❤️

OP posts:
BanditsBum · 30/08/2020 14:53

It is really situation specific.

I've always been a working mum and it is hard but I have a super felxible job which has helped negate a lot of issues. Still a lot of guilt though and a lot of juggling.

I had 10 months off on mat leave when my second was born and my eldest was 3. It was great not having to run around like a lunatic although was a bit soul destroying being away from work and adult conversation not about children.

I think now my eldest is in school I can see a huge benefit to schoolchildren having a SAHM.

tiredanddangerous · 30/08/2020 14:54

It depends on the age of the children. Through the baby and toddler years being a sahm is harder. Once the dc are in school it's much easier!

Dogsaresomucheasier · 30/08/2020 14:56

Working is easier than looking after children endlessly. Having to do both is super human!

DrawerOfDoom · 30/08/2020 14:58

I find sahm harder, but one of my DC has SN. Work was a nice break except when I had to work from home during the holidays. That was a nightmare!

newbieeee · 30/08/2020 15:01

Much harder to be a working parent, juggling being on time, having to call in if kids sick, getting to childminder on time, the cost of childcare! Being way more knackered and bad tempered in evening. Wanting some time
To yourself to chill then having mum guilt

Callybrid · 30/08/2020 15:03

The question is meaningless as there are so many different variables to each person’s situation as a parent, whether they work or not.

Why are you asking OP?

Elsaletmyballoongo · 30/08/2020 15:07

I think it depends on things like... if you're working, do you have money for a cleaner? Do you have family who will do childcare at shory notice? Is your child of a personality that's happy in childcare?

And if you're a SAHM... are there lots if activities near you? Do you have a good social life with supportive friends you see often?

HelloMissus · 30/08/2020 15:09

I found being a SAHM harder - because I was quite bored and I didn’t much enjoy the company of the other SAHMs (not all, I made a couple of great mates) and I didn’t share their interests.

Original poster
Maximillionsmummy · 30/08/2020 15:16

@Callybird as the original post says. I'm interested in others views and opinions. I know how I feel by the end of the day and was interested to see how others feel and their perspectives also.

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 30/08/2020 15:20

For me being a SAHM would be harder. Both my DS are autistic and though I love them dearly it can be very tough caring for them. I work part time and love my job so I think that's the right solution for me.