EBF fatigue - what to do

[Whateverz]

I've been EBF my baby for nearly 9 weeks since my c-section, pumping all day, due to latch and nipple problems meaning she can't feed from the boob. Was hoping to fix the boob issues but it's got worse (long story).

I'm at the point where I am starting to hate pumping and though I get good amounts first thing, the rest of the day it gradually dries up so we are becoming ever reliant on formula. It makes me feel quite despondent about it all. I've also started to skip a few pumps as I've been too tired at bedtime, or because I've wanted to cuddle my baby rather than have to put her down, or because I've been out with my DH and baby and having a lovely time. I know this is why the milk supply has dwindled and it is my fault. The ratio was initially 95% breast milk with a bit of formula top up where required and now it's become more like 20% breast milk.

I'm at a crossroads. If I pump less but still do it daily will I continue to get some milk so at least she is getting some benefit? (Eg 4-5 times a day). Or will my supply just stop?

At 9 weeks is it too early to drop breast milk in an ideal world?

I'm really beating myself up but also wanting to do the best for my baby.

In your shoes I would give up bf. The whole pumping and stress over the supply is getting you down and you have enough to cope with as parent to a tiny baby.

Your child will be fine and you have no reason to feel bad about this.

You've done brilliantly to get to 9 weeks. I got to 5 days and hated it so much that I switched to FF and never looked back. DS is a very robust one year old now and we have a great bond because I actually enjoyed feeding him rather than dreading it and stressing out about it constantly. That's not to say that switching to FF is the right thing for you to do at all, it's totally up to you and feel super proud of yourself whatever you do.

Thanks all. Grateful for the suggestions and support. To answer questions- I've literally tried it all- 4 consultants and use a hospital grade pump etc. Not in a rude way, but I am no longer looking for advice on this aspect of things (the latch) as I am literally "adviced out" if you know what I mean - we have come into contact with what seems like countless professionals and I just feel exhausted with it all!

Just wondering which way to go now. Will milk completely stop if I only pump half the time, or can I at least provide her with a bit of breast milk? Or is this pointless?

Is some breast milk better than none?

@mynameiscalypso do you miss the bond of breast feeding? And how did you cope with night feeds and all the bottles / sterilising / trips to the fridge etc without going mad!

My eldest wouldn't latch and I expressed for a month, but was miserable and I stopped and formula fed. I felt guilty, but I didn't see there was any other option.

My youngest breastfed like a pro, no issues at all and she breastfed for over 3 years.

They're both very cool people, and how they were fed doesn't matter a jot to me now. I wish I had realised that when I made the decision with DD1, as it would have saved a lot of heartache in the first year of her life.

You are doing a fantastic job, whatever you decide to do xx

[quote Whateverz]@mynameiscalypso do you miss the bond of breast feeding? And how did you cope with night feeds and all the bottles / sterilising / trips to the fridge etc without going mad! [/quote]
Nope, not at all. I found it so much easier to bond once I'd made the decision to FF. I found that I still got that sense of closeness from feeding the bottle and I much preferred not having the stress of BF hanging over me all day. I didn't really have to think about feeding once I'd made the decision. Making bottles is a bit of a faff but we bought a perfect prep machine and used to make three bottles at once and chill two quickly and store in the fridge until needed.

Oh and re night feeds, DS started sleeping through (well from 11pm - 6am) by about three months. Before then, DH and I alternated. We always had a bottle in the fridge that we just warmed up for 10 mins in a bowl of hot water.

I called it quits at just over a week. DS wouldn't latch properly and was losing weight. I was fairly successful with pumping but it took SO MUCH TIME! I wanted to spend time with my baby and feed him myself even if it was from a bottle. He's 9 months old now and doesn't seem to be disadvantaged my having been formula fed. The most important thing is that you're happy with your decision. I spent a long time beating myself up with guilt because I hadn't done what was "best".

I'm not sure about the supply question but you've done amazing to pump for so long. I only managed 3 weeks with my son and my mental health was really suffering. It was like a massive weight off my shoulders when I finally gave in to formula. On another note I've managed to bf my daughter so try not to blame yourself completely as I honestly haven't done anything differently!

For a quick bottle, before bed do a flask of boiling water. Keep boiled water chilled in the fridge, in a bottle with a measure on. Baby wakes, needs a bottle: put 50% of total quantity flask water in, add formula, shake etc, add 50% chilled water. Bottle done in less than a minute. We also kept counted-out formula in pots; sleep deprivation can lead to counting errors!

I pumped and bottle fed expressed milk to my first DD from 6 weeks to 11 months. Looking back I wonder what the hell I was thinking - the only positive thing was that I only had to pump twice a day, so it didn’t totally take over my life. Bit still, what madness!

Give yourself a break, OP and just do the best you can. My second DD was breast fed for 4 months. There’s no discernible difference in their health, intelligence etc at age 10 & 8.

While I do believe breast milk is best, I also think that your health and happiness is important, and if that means moving more to formula if your supply dwindles then so be it.

It is okay to stop if it is too much. I pumped for months and it nearly broke me. My baby was a preemie and very poorly so it was a different scenario. You only get this time with your baby once. It is okay to stop breastfeeding. It is okay to top up more and offer a comfort feed. It is okay to keep going. Which ever feels right for you is the best choice for you and your baby.

Just resurrecting this thread to update. I have decided to slowly stop the pumping and gradually move to formula. It feels like a real relief and though it took a while to reach this decision it feels like the right one. Baby still hasn't latched bless her and I feel I want to be more free to be with her, do more things and cuddle her, especially now that she's more smiley and active. At present I have spaced out the pumping and reduced the times down. In the mornings I still get a good bottle or so's worth, but the rest of the day not so much.

A question to those who gave up exclusively pumping @Blondephantom @MsChatterbox @mylittlesandwich @mynameiscalypso @OddestSock and anyone else... how gradually did you stop and did you continue to pump once or twice a day or stop altogether? Just looking at the best way to do this, and also to avoid saggy boobs!!

Thank you X

I stopped completely cold turkey. Had about a week of engorged boobs then was fine. Still happy with boobs