Is it normal to feel anxious but also excited - TTC

[pinkgrapes2]

Bit of info, I've been with DP for 6 years, we own our own home, I'm 26 and he is 30 soon. Both have secure jobs and financially comfortable. Having a family has always been something we've known we wanted, but we never previously sat down and discussed when we start trying. Following a health scare on my end following an abnormal smear, which I'm getting treatment for/awaiting results, it prompted us to sit down and fully discuss starting a family soon, likely start of next year once treatment is finished with. DP is great with his nephews and it warms my heart watching them together so I do feel he would be a good dad. I'm so excited and I feel like this is the next step for us, he even asked me what I thought about a certain name this morning.

Although I feel excited about this next journey, I'm also scared. Will I manage on my own during the week (he works away during the week) but I have a brilliant relationship with my parents and know they would be very supportive.Have we had enough holidays? (I planned on arranging a nice holiday abroad for his 30th but that's down the drain now, I would of liked at least another holiday just us) although we are comfortable now, will we manage financially with a baby?

I've heard people saying there is never a 'right time'. If I told DP I was pregnant today I know he would be over the moon. I'm really broody and excited, I can't wait until we have a little family but in the back of my mind I'm also scared! Thinking are we doing the right thing. If we start trying after Christmas I would be 27 when baby arrived and that's IF we managed to conceive which I'm not naive about as I know it can take a long time. Please tell me this is normal to feel excited but also a little terrified?

Anyone?

Totally normal! 🙂 I remember when I came off the pill and it felt weird thinking I might be pregnant soon.

Totally normal and very exciting. I would suggest a holiday when you're pregnant if Coronavirus allows - we went to New York and Toronto when I was 5 months pregnant and it was fine, just wore compression socks for the flights, but the break did me well.

Money wise, you can plan all you want but when baby is here you might feel totally different re: breastfeeding v formula, real v disposable nappies, sahm v childcare. You make it work because you have to though.

Btw, you mention an abnormal smear - as part of your treatment it is probably worth asking if you would be consultant led for any pregnancies. I had 2 Lletz treatments so was monitored closely but absolutely no problems (in fact baby was late).

I totally understand! I've been with my DH 3 years. We're both 28 and we got married two weeks ago. Plan over the last two years was buy a home and get married and then the agreed date to start trying is Christmas. Really weird - I've spent all of my life trying not to get pregnant haha! We'd also booked to go to Spain but that obviously didn't happen so I'm going to book some holidays for next march/easter...if I'm pregnant then I'm hoping we'll manage! But yes - I'm excited, impatient to at least start trying (can't do it earlier as I switched medications to be safe to TTC and there's a washout safety period) and a bit nervous in case nothing happens or it isn't the 'right time'. Good luck on your TTC journey!

I feel very relieved to read your replies! @december212 It's really helpful to hear your lletz didn't affect pregnancy as that's what's been worrying me, I am awaiting punch biopsy results as consultant didn't want to go straight in with the lletz as he said he didn't want to overtreat me due to my age but I have a feeling I will be invited back in for it as smear came back high grade moderate dyskaryosis which consultant said before colposcopy was actually more severe but then went on to say during colposcopy that it didn't look as severe as he thought.. so it's just a waiting game for results. I will discuss pregnancy with him in more details when I go back.

@DaenarysStormborn congratulations on your wedding and huge good luck to you too on your journey! I think we will still try and arrange a holiday beforehand if the situation allows, even if I'm pregnant it will still be nice to get away just us

Completely normal!
If funds and covid allow i would recommend one more holiday before you become pregnant. We did a 5 star, all inclusive Indian Ocean affair and every second was amazing.

I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Day, the day before we flew home.

Boring, sensible stuff- you say DP, do you have plans to get married? If not are you clear about all of the legal aspects of that? Marriage isn't for everyone but you'll want to take extra steps to protect yourself and your children e.g. wills

But totally normal to be a bit apprehensive about it all. I had ivf which is very deliberate and was still terrified! Hope your treatment goes well

@parkandride we have discussed marriage but honestly, it's not really something we have planned to do anytime soon and it's never bothered me whether we are or not. If we do in the future though I think we would keep it very minimal, possibly just us. I know that might sound out of the ordinary to some. I was talking to an older friend at work who is in a very long term stable relationship, not married and with 3 children and we spoke about wills etc as she has recently put one in place so I would definitely follow her guidance in that aspect.

I would think about what you really want to do in life that you can’t easily do with a child (travel, career progression, crazy fun nights out, time with friends). It’s so much harder to do any of that once you have children. I had my first at 32 and spent about 25-31 partying and travelling. It was wonderful. It made it really easy to decide to ttc because we really lived before we had dc. No regrets at all.

Do get married before children though. It’s the smart thing to do so you are an equal financial unit before one of you takes a career hit to be at home post-baby. A baby is a much bigger commitment than a marriage could ever be so no reason not to just do it if you’re both committed to the long term.