What is wrong with me? Why do I feel guilt for things I have never done?

[CandidCandi]

I’m in the process of completing a job application. This job will require a dbs check as it involves working with children.

For some reason, when reading the dbs check information, I feel all panicky as though I’m going to get found out for something. I have never been in any trouble with the police and I have never caused harm to a child or to anyone for that matter! In fact, I have children and nieces/nephews who I adore and have great relationships with.

I do suffer from anxiety though and moderate depression so I’m guessing this may just be my mental health yet again playing tricks on me 😔

Has anyone else experienced thoughts like this?

This is your anxiety talking. Intrusive, often completely ridiculous worries and paranoia are so very common. Try not to be concerned about this. How old are you op? Has your anxiety gotten more problematic?

I am similar in if someone loses something I instantly feel guilty..... I'll check my pockets and bag ect hoping to god it hasn't accidentally ended up in my possession

I hate it if someone loses something and I'm nearby because I instabtly worry and feels guilty/anxious about it

For the same reason I magically turn into an international drug dealer walking through the green channel. Never smuggled drugs personally but I FEEL like I have.

And I don't have anxiety.

I have to have a DBS done and each time they run out and I still go through my internal filofax, despite knowing I'm good.

As long as you keep telling yourself it's your anxiety trying to rule you. Tell it to fuck off.

I've experienced this, I thought it was quite common and didn't think too much of it, I also struggle with anxiety so possibly linked to that

Heh I always set the machines off at airports. Always.

That's always fun

I’m relieved it’s not just me but I’m sorry there are others who have to deal with this.

I’m early 30s and have struggled like this for a few years. I haven’t worked for a number of years and really want this job but these horrible worries are scaring me from applying.

I do take medication for my anxiety which really does help and keeps me on an even keel for the most part and I’m so grateful for that but I still have some issues to contend with. I’m attending counselling now so I’ll discuss this at my next appointment. I just don’t want this to hold me back in going for the job.

Good luck with the job OP, it is difficult going back into work so don't be too hard on yourself about it, it's okay to be anxious but I'm sure you'll do great

It's quite common, you're really not alone.

Just do the form then think phew that's over and best of luck with it :)

I had the same when applying for a WWC. I thibk it was because I was abused when I was 8.

I’m sorry to hear that @Mimishimi I suffered some abuse as a child. Not sexual or anything like that but I think that constantly being told I was worthless/useless is quite hard to get past. I think somewhere inside me I have that fear that those things are true, hence the frequent guilt that I experience for things that I know deep down I would never be capable of. I hope you have managed to recover from the abuse you suffered and that it’s not affecting your life too severely now.

It's not just you, Candi I think it's your anxiety. A couple of years ago when my anxiety was absolutely at its height I had to do a high level clearance for work. think interviewing people I know, checking Internet history, finances, all of that. I could barely relax for months because I had been a bit of a wild one in my late teens (nothing exceptional, no drugs or crime, just a bit of a party-er!) and go into my overdraft sometimes.

I fully understand your update as well, you never quite move on from being expected to do something naughty or wrong. But you've proven that theory wrong, being offered such a rewarding and responsible job as working with children. Enjoy it and congratulations

I'm not an anxious person normally but i get this too! I once had to give the US authorities permission to do a very thorough check on me (I worked with a virus that was considered a potential bioweapon), which took several weeks. Really nerve-wracking.

I'm exactly the same. I must have had about 10-15 DBS checks in the past 10 years and I worry every time despite knowing it's going to be clear! I'm currently waiting to start a new job and am waiting for my references to be signed off, and I'm worrying that one of my referees will have written something terrible about me, even though they have no reason to.

I've also had temporary US visas a few times and always panic at my embassy appointments that I'm going to be rejected.

I just put it down to wanting and being passionate something so much that you worry about anything that may take it away from you, even though it's completely irrational.

I just completed a vetting form and I genuinely stopped to think whether I've been involved in terrorism or espionage 😂 of course I bloody haven't! These forms are stressful for lots of people.

Whenever I fly into Singapore and read or hear the warning about the severe penalties for drug offences I can't help a little shiver down my spine. Even though I don't have any.

I am the same around the police I have no idea why, a more law abiding person you couldn't meet.

Same here - always irrationally scared I'm going to be 'found out' or in trouble, especially with job applications. I remember I had to go and watch some court proceedings as part of some media training I did and I was terrified the whole time. I have always been scared of authority and was quite a nervous child.