How to stop a 3 yr old pooing his pants daily, HELP!

[Hermano]

DS is recently turned 3.

He decided he didn't want to wear nappies at Christmas, he was 2 1/2. As we were home for a couple of weeks, and as he was adamant, we went with it. After a few days of dancing in his own wee puddles he began to get it and could wee in the potty or loo about half the time. In the intervening months this increased a bit and he's now good for wees most of the time, unless he's very excited or engrossed in play!

Funnily enough he decided he didn't want to wear nighttime nappies soon after dropping daytime ones, he'd have an almighty screaming episode if we tried to put a night pull-up on. Since he was always playing with his willy in bed and leaving it half poking out and wetting the bed almost nightly even in a pull-up, we were fairly happy to lose that nappy too, and he's actually been dry overnight since about Feb, which feels early and very lucky for us!

Now to poos

He poos his pants daily. He just won't stop playing to go and poo. He can get to the potty or loo in time occasionally, but most of the time it's a poo in pants or if he's bare bottomed (often is) then it's a poo on the floor.

He knows and comes to tell us, and says he'll try harder next time, but 90% + of his poos are in the wrong place.

Any ideas how to tilt this balance and get more poo in the loo? It's driving us both a bit mad. We're normally fairly neutral in the aftermath, 'oh that's a shame, poos aren't supposed to go in pants, where are they supposed to go?' etc, but sometimes one of us will be on a shorter fuse and tell him off. I don't think the telling off helps and OH and I have agreed to keep a lid on our frustration in the future, but any tips from people in the same position much appreciated.

Tldr: wee trained and night trained 3 yr old poos in his pants daily, this has been going on since new year. How can we stop the pooing in pants?

Yeah hopefully school will make him want to use the toilet like the other kids. Or he’ll just hold it and do his poos in his pants at home! You just can’t control when someone poos. It’s totally his choice. I was at my wits end after two months of no pooing on toilet. We went back to pull ups for poos only coz I couldn’t handle the mess. Then one day she just said she’d go on the toilet and did! Like it had never been an issue.

Some good advice upthread but would also you mention he's often bare bottomed. I'd try keeping him in pants all the time so that he gets the sensation of feeling uncomfortable when he's pooed.
Try sitting him on the toilet after meal times too as that's when he's most likely to want to go.
Ds was very similar. Got wees almost straight away but it took a few months longer to get number 2s sorted. It just kind of clicked one day though & he stopped having accidents. He'll get there

The other thing that worked was a sticker book that was kept in the bathroom so he could look at it on the loo and get a sticker for being a big boy.

Takes away the pressure

Thanks for all the replies. I don't really feel any will work, I think he just needs time, but equally he's already had 8 months so I'll give some kind of low key reward a go - he's so easily motivated and excited by any little present. He loves books so maybe I'll put a special book in the loo for reading during poo tries.

I'm not keen to put him back in pullups, tbh the poon often rolls out, and I'd rather wash pants every day than chuck a pullup away, plus I can't even begin to imagine the tantrum if I suggested it!

I don’t really think any particular techniques work either. Didn’t for my daughter. She just decided one day on her own. I only used pull ups because pants were stressing me out and I didn’t want her to start to feel ashamed or like she was naughty. But if that doesn’t bother you then there’s no point using pull ups. Maybe a sticker chart might work? But to be honest, any kind of incentive or bribery didn’t work for her either. You literally cannot make someone poo! Unless you’ve been through it people always give suggestions like it’s easy. But it’s really quite out of your control. Good luck!

We used Poo goes to Pooland as a story book. It really helped. You can make your own story book from the pdf:

www.cntw.nhs.uk/content/uploads/2016/08/Poo-Goes-To-Pooland.pdf

We also used rewards. Stickers are unfortunately not seen as a reward worth bothering with by my DCs. After having tried every type of reward, in desperation we switched to Haribos... DD2 was then very motivated and got her pooing sorted pretty quick!!

I'd love an update OP if possible!?! Losing the will here

My 3 yo did this. He's 19yo now and generally house trained 😆

I can't tell you how to fix it, he didn't become reliable until he was 5 and even then still had "accidents" on holiday or at times of stress.

What I can do is give some tips on how to survive it.

• buy lots of cheap pants, so you bag them up and throw them away, like you would a nappy, if it happens when you're out

• Don't let this become who he is. We reached a point where whether it had been a good or a bad day was based entirely around how many dirty pants there'd been. Life with LO is still great, if frustrating.

• I think for DS2 it was about expecting some control/a protest. A bit like a tantrum, so try to give it as little attention as possible. It might not help, but it will make your life better.

• Get him checked for constipation. Apparently this can be a factor, although I don't think it was for DS.

Thank you ❤️

There's great resources here www.eric.org.uk/parents-and-carers

Star charts. 3 poohs in the potty gets a treat, then extend it to 4, then 5.
I remember my daughter found poohing in a nappy normal, then couldnt do it on a potty as it felt strange to her.

My son used to do this. Have you tried literally giving it no attention at all? Not even any 'oh that's a shame, where does poo go etc' just as little talk as possible then big praise whenever he is on the toilet.