Is there a way to visit a relative in Dublin at the moment?

[Visitingireland]

My daughter is 5 and her father lives in Dublin and she has not been able to see him since February for obvious reasons - we are in London.

My daughter is becoming increasingly upset at this, but I cannot quarantine because of work commitments (which I need to do as a broke lone parent) and he says he cannot travel here because of quarantine and work too. Is there a way round this? Could we meet in Belfast or would that be a similar situation? He told me Guardai are patrolling the borders asking for reasons to cross but as he is not the most involved father I am not sure how much I believe him.

I’m really aware things may get worse over winter and am so apprehensive about their relationship breaking down completely if it’s a year between them seeing each other.

Does any one have any ideas that I might not have considered? Thank you

No, there is no way to do this without quarantine. Sorry, but I live in Dublin and we are now heartily fed up of people who have broken quarantine (see how our European Commissioner was sacked for this).

I know your circumstances are tough for your child but everyone who lives in a different country to their partner (such as my best friend ) has to make these choices at the moment.

We are just getting out children back to school here and the Government have doubled down because there will be riots if the schools are closed doe to an outbreak of Covid.

You could definitely meet in Northern Ireland. There's no restrictions on travel between Northern Ireland and the south and I know lots of people who have travelled over the border recently. I've not heard anyone say about patrols at the borders and why would there be if you're able to freely travel??

She hasn't seen him for a year, but it's only since March that she hasn't been allowed to see him. You're right, he's not going to win any awards for the most involved parent. My neighbour's from Dublin and she goes over about 6 times a year to see her parents. I would expect that from him.

Does she talk to him on Skype?

You are currently allowed to travel from UK to Ireland however the requirement here in Ireland is that she will have to restrict her movements for 14 days. She can however leave Ireland during that 14 days ie she’s not stuck here for a fortnight.

www.gov.ie/en/publication/b4020-travelling-to-ireland-from-a-country-that-is-not-on-the-covid-19-travel-advice-list/

You don't have to quarantine in the UK coming from Ireland as far as I know, so why can't he come to you? He'd have to quarantine when he goes back, but if he can work from home (if he will cooperate...) that could work.

You also don't have to stay in Ireland the whole 14 days, so you could bring your daughter to Dublin, hand her over to her father at the airport and go straight back. He would then have to quarantine with her for two weeks, but something has to give somewhere and maybe that's it?

Please don't use NI as a shortcut to avoid quarantining - it's a shit thing to take advantage of the open border to circumvent the rules on travel. I get it, it's crap to have so many restrictions. I won't see my family abroad this year. We just have to live with it for now.

Not heard anything about the Gardaí patrolling the borders asking for reasons at all. It seems unlikely they would be too. Sounds like a lie to me I'm afraid.

Oh, the poor girl having such a disinterest father. What's stopping him flying over to collecting her to fly back the same day.

It’s more the quarantine for me than her that is the issue as I have to work so I can support us both (no maintenance either!) and I would have to come too as she’s can’t travel alone and hasn’t stayed over night with him yet.

That’s really interesting about there being no restrictions between north / south as that was the stumbling block that I had come across. I can get to Belfast without any restrictions- if he can too, this could be our solution.

Just to be clear, I wouldn’t break any quarantine rules and would do everything by the book. We have vulnerable relatives so have been as locked down as poss this whole time.

Thank you

He's lying to you - I live very near the border and I've heard of one person being asked back in deep lockdown - his excuse was getting diesel and he was allowed to continue. My sister has been over from London by ferry through dublin (she chose to quarantine with us for two week anyhow even tho she didn't need to by the letter of the law). Honestly, if he wanted to see her he could do it easily.

Sorry, cross posts - I would looking at a weekend realistically with her coming back to me over night. A fortnight without me would be incredibly distressing to her as while she misses him and wants to see him, he has never provided care and so they just don’t have that relationship / trust between them yet (this is his choice, I’d love a break!)

I appreciate the border is a crap thing to take advantage of, but he often travels to Belfast for work and so I can’t see any difference? (Apart from him potentially lying about border patrols)

@dramalamma I suspected so, but I couldn’t find anything concrete while googling. If my daughter wasn’t becoming so distressed I really wouldn’t push it, but I’m feeling a bit torn as to what the right course of action is at the moment that’s in her best interests

I live in NI, I crossed the border six times within a few days last week. My in laws are in Donegal now, and judging by the amount of people doing their shopping in my local Sainsburys from across the border, he's using excuses. At least half of my kids primary school class have been in Dublin Zoo over the past two weeks or on holiday in caravans, cottages etc.