Fair way to divide the finances?

[LionessRoar]

Hi, I am aware I may get flamed for this but I have been with my husband for over 15 years and he is a high earner, one of the top 1%. I am a very low earner: have my own business and limited re working out of the home due to health reasons/ disability.
As such, I have always felt guilty about ‘taking’ my husband’s money although we do have a joint account. I don’t use the joint account as it has created friction in the past so I get an ‘allowance’ transferred over each month.
We do not have kids and our outgoings are relatively modest. The money I have to spend (including my wages) adds up to about 5% of our combined income. I try to save but this is hard so I don’t have a lot and I don’t have a pension of my own as I can’t really afford it and he says I don’t need one as his provision is good enough.
Our marriage is good in every other way but I do feel disgruntled about this. I know I prob should just be grateful for a nice roof over my head but I would like to spend/ save without constantly worrying.
With my job, and majority of the housework, I work about 20 hours and he works 30 hours, with maybe 1/2-1 hour of housework (I do rest). What is a fair division of money in this circumstance please? Do you think I’m being a bit of a gold digger, like I sometimes feel, or should I be able to have more money for my own needs?

Please tell me your drop to part time came with him paying into a decent pension for you?

If you have no idea of the financial situation then you need to get more savvy with it. If he got hit by a bus or made redundant tomorrow you need to have at least a vague idea of where you are financially.

I think you nee to sit down together with a glas of wine and a spreadsheet (or piece of paper) on evening, and actually write some of these figures down.
Seriously, if you (as a couple, putting aside the disparity of your every day spends for now) are saving £120 000 every year, how are you going to manage to spend that in retirement ?

Where there are dc, I can sort of see more of a reason to want to be able to help them through university / buy property / weddings / treat them, but as you don't, I don't understand why you aren't doing some of this traveling now. Plus whatever other treats you might enjoy - that will be different for different people.
I am, by nature, a saver.
I am cautious with my spending - in some cases people might say tight .
I 100% think you should invest in pensions, you should aim, if you can, to have even up to a year's worth of expenses put by, but even I can't see the point of watching your pennies at the end of each month, whilst saving £120 000 every year .

Isn’t the whole point of being married that you’re a team?

Marriage is partnership and you are looking after the home. I would ask for a bit more for day to day and to max out your isa limit each year for savings (he'll realise this is a good idea). Pension is trickier because sometimes it makes sense to have one big pot. If you are married 10+ years you are quite protected as you would split assets if you split.