Another "going grey" one...

[Octopus99]

I always thought I'd want to go grey gracefully, but now that the first few grey hairs are here I don't feel ready! Perhaps I'll never feel ready, but right now I definitely don't! I don't feel old enough and plenty of women seem to go grey ten years older than me. Even though I'm fairly confident in myself, for some reason the greys have got me feeling a bit insecure and "less attractive" around my husband etc. I realise that's silly and trivial, and in an ideal world I'd be able to not give a stuff and have total confidence in myself as I age - you don't need to tell me this. But sadly I am a product of my environment in this regard.

Anyway, how does one go about managing grey hairs when they first appear (if I don't want them yet). My hair is dark brown so the hairs stand out, and they are horrible wiry things which makes matters worse. I'm worried a permanent box dye will damage my hair and also look too "dyed". I guess a visit to the hairdresser is needed but what am I asking for?

Anyone with dark brown hair who's found a way to cover or blend their greys in a nice way without it looking too much like hair dye?

As someone who started getting my hair dyed at 27, I’d say proceed with caution.

Dyeing is expensive at a salon, and not great DIY. You have to manage roots ever 6 - 8 weeks.

I wish I had been like my friends who just kept their grey.

At some point you have to give up dyeing. I have done so during lockdown and I actually don’t mind my now white hair.

I used to have highlights that blended them in the beginning. There came a point where it wasn't effective anymore as I had too many to blend and it just looked like i had silver and blonde highlights. Plus it cost ££££££. It worked well for a good few years though.

I'm allergic to dye so can't use an all over so I stopped and am now probably around 40% grey. The difference against my friends that are also grey who have had all over colours is that they get the zebra stripe roots whereas mine all grew through without it.

The texture does get better once they grow in. My hair is mid back length and not wiry anymore.

Bear in mind that people a bit taller than you see more of your undyed roots than you do in the mirror. It doesn’t look that great and will cost you a fortune to prevent.

There are better ways to spend money on making yourself feel good, IMO.

I guess we think people go grey older than they do because most of them dye it.
I’m in my mid 30s and keep changing my mind about whether I’m getting rid of mine or going grey.. At the moment I’m using a box dye every six months or so (then deciding on to hell with it I’ll let the few greys grow out... and then changing my mind).

What worries me about dying is the zebra roots line. I think a line of white with dark hair looks worse than natural hair. I have very dark hair like you so that’s the way I’m headed eventually if I use a box dye..

Yes I agree, and I really don't want to use all over box dye for that very reason. Just thinking if there's an alternative. Perhaps some highlights would work.

I've been going grey for almost 14 years. I've used box dyes mainly, but combined with less money, less time and quick growing hair I have finally decided to embrace the grey and let it grow out.

Using box dyes, I stuck to the same brand and colour and only ever coloured the roots. The repeat dyeing of the mid lengths and ends on longer hair makes it dull and blocky, so by just doing the roots, the dye fading looked more natural.
The hairdressers were always surprised that my hair was dyed and agreed that it didn't need the whole bottle all over my head.

Good luck!

I guess we think people go grey older than they do because most of them dye it.

Yeah, I thought I was much greyer than my peers until lockdown.

When I had a few grey hairs I used a box dye which was fine.
My hair falls out due to alopecia and it started growing back white. With a few white patches I started having highlights put through at a hairdressers to blend them and it looked lovely. It could be costly if your mate isn't a hairdresser though!
Earlier this year I realised I had more white then not so i decided to give in! I have completely snow white hair! Im only 40. My hairdresser friend regularly puts random colours through it to keep it interesting . I get complimented on my hair colour all the time. Its very thin unfortunately so the colour is the only thing that's nice about it!
Going grey isn't so bad really. Ive had very dark hair all my life and would never have suited being fair when I was younger but now my features have changed so the white works. Be open to changing your hair colour slightly as what suits you when you are 20 probably won't suit you forever!!

OP I’ve used semi permanent box dyes successfully which just fade rather than leaving you with the badger stripe. But I have recently started to use the new John Frieda Defy Grey shampoo conditioner and mousse and I think it’s absolutely brilliant. It aims to fade away greys and subtly tints they so they look more like highlights. I’ve got lots of grey but it’s fairly evenly spaced through my hair, using these new products mean that my hair is overall darker but looks healthier and shinier and my greys are still there but look more blended in.

I was v dark but started going grey in my teens/early 20s. A semi permanent base colour (will blend in greys and leave your hair soft and shiny) with a half head (or T) of highlights (dark blonde and caramelly colours are good with dark hair) work well.

@MrsRabbitsCleaner shampoo option sounds great.

When they start coming in is easier to manage them or grow them. As they start becoming more and more you have to dye it more often. It's a big commitment! Or you have the badger stripe (I like that name!!!). My hair is dark like yours but my mum's was light amd you couldn't notice the greys as much.... I'm not committed enough to dye my hair every few weeks... so I'm growing it. After about a year it's down to the hair tie in my ponytail

I grew my dye out to see what was underneath only to find out I was totally grey at 42!

Tried a few diff colours with never v good results and have now given up and am rocking natural look. It’s getting more silver by the day. I have a pixie crop so easy to mess about with it as it grows out fast.

DH really likes it and said the other day he’d be a bit upset if I dyed it again!

I was brunette and went for lighter honey toned highlights, whwn that didnt work any more I went ash blonde for a while before embracing the grey

I decided (like a lot of people) to grow my roots out over lockdown. All these people now showing off pictures of their post-lockdown dye jobs!

Mine has come back in much darker than I've been dyeing it and also less grey, so I'm keeping it. Dh loves it too, which I was surprised about but he was very sweet and said "I always imagined growing old with you"

I’m growing out my grey. Wfh has obviously helped. Initially I used those wash out root touch up sprays. I chopped off about 3inches of dyed brown off the bottom a couple of weeks back. I’m now at the stage where I put the bit that’s still brown in a small ponytail as if it was hanging down you’d see the stark line! (And a very short cut like a pixie would not suit me at all). In another 3 months or so I’ll be able to have most of the brown lopped off and then I’ll be very close. I’m determined to stick with it now as it’s so nice not being tied to dying it and having grey roots come through every couple of weeks. My mum in her 70s still dyes hers brown and it looks really fake and not very nice.

I started going grey before I was 18 - a hair stylist commented on the fact I had some the day before my 18th when I had the grown out crap perm chopped off

I found 8 wash colours or the wash out sprays good for blending/hiding the greys.
In the end though I had so much grey I went completely dye free, grew it out and then got a pixie cut. I’ve dabbled with a 8 wash brown dye since then to see if I look better with brown hair but regretted it as it goes orange as it fades and now I’ve got a pain in the bum slight yellow tint that I use toner purple shampoo on.

Excuse the rubbish pic, I’ve been in the rain and have awful spots that no one needs to see!

Thank you for the ideas. Most of the posts on here are recommending sucking it up and going grey! But I don't want to just yet!!