What can I do to help her?

[Crunchymum]

My DM has struggled with her mental health for 30 years + (panic, anxiety, agrophobia)

Things have spiralled recently, as they have for many people, and my DF has come to me in confidence as he has never seen her so bad.

She won't medicate (for her anxiety or anything, she also has chronic back pain), She won't see any HCP and isn't registered with a Dr (severe health anxiety, only way she'd seek medical attention would be if she is so ill its out of her control)

• She didn't want me or any of my siblings to know how poorly she is (in case we force her into seeking help, which she just will not do)
• She is communicating with everyone - bar my DF - by text and email. She doesn't want visitors.
• She is doing some weekly counselling but this is just recent (as in weeks)
• She belongs to some online support groups.

I'm at a loss.

Any ideas? Seeing a GP or any kind of formal HCP isn't an option right now.

DF has told her he has involved me as he is so worried and I am going to keep her confidence. I've also got her some OTC medication for her back pain.... I think this is exacerbating her MH conditions.

Any support groups / organisations I can direct her to? Anyone who can help us without it being a formal HCP? Any other ideas?

I think you need to reframe "keeping her confidence" as "colluding in her mental health disorder". She sounds like she needs professional help, and I think you should try to support her to get that.

I think you need to speak to a GP. If she isnt registered then is your df? If so i would ask there for advice about what to do, or ring 111.

I wonder if, when you agree to hide what is going on from professionals, to your dm it sounds like you agree that professionals are bad and scary. I think it woulf be better to gently challenge that idea. It sounds like your dm is quite unwell, and probably in a lot of distress.

Sounds like a codependent relationship.

You need to break the cycle and access proper help for her.