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Original poster

Has anyone ever felt like they’ve lost ‘the one’?

15 replies

HedgehogSmedgehog · 26/08/2020 12:46

I feel like I did. Everything was so good, we had so much in common, liked all the same things, could talk to him about anything. He’s been the person that has been the most kind to me in my whole life. He was so caring and I loved him a lot. We had an argument and I said something in the heat of the moment which was hurtful and for which he quite rightly ended things with me. I tried to apologise the next day but it was too late.

I still think about him from time to time and feel really sad that I made such a mess of it. If I could take back one thing that I’ve done it would be that. I’ve never met anyone since as good as him and know deep down I won’t ever anytime in the future. Has anyone else ever felt like that? Did you eventually meet someone you could be happy with?

OP posts:
GreyPaw · 26/08/2020 12:52

Yes, I felt I'd lost the one. It was so painful for a long time. Eventually I married someone else and tried to put it behind me, but I definitely regretted things ending. I had so many regrets about the things I'd done wrong. I did move on with my life, but it took me a long time to stop feeling the pain of that regret.

As it turns out, he contacted me again last year and neither of us were in a relationship so we met up. So far so good...

PaperMonster · 26/08/2020 13:00

Yes. We both love each other dearly but can’t be together. Twenty bloody years this has been going on.

36degrees · 26/08/2020 13:05

Mine's just found me, apologised for the way things were left, said he regrets all his life choices ever since. There seems to be lots of introspective brooding going on out there at the moment.

Inching · 26/08/2020 13:07

No, because you'd have to believe in the nonsense of 'the One' for this to be the case. There are any number of people you could be happy with, OP -- I've been very happily with my DH for almost 30 years and I've still encountered a couple of men I think that, had I not already chosen otherwise, I could have been equally but differently happy with.

Forget the 'deep down' and keep an eye out for your next one. Don't let some lingering regrets about a past relationship stop you from being open to new ones.

(Also, are you sure you aren't romanticising him as the One That Got Away? Because the first thing that occurs to me on reading your account of how the relationship ended was that if it was that perfect and mutually-loving, it wouldn't have ended over a single argument.)

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 26/08/2020 13:08

Nope. If they were 'the one' then they would still be with you.

It's easy to romanticize something after it's over. The truth is if you can't work on your problems then you weren't meant to be anyway.

LucyLocketsPocket · 26/08/2020 13:11

@PaperMonster

Yes. We both love each other dearly but can’t be together. Twenty bloody years this has been going on.

Why can't you be together?

gonewiththerain · 26/08/2020 13:13

Yes I did, it took me a long time to get over him and even when I was with the next bf I still thought about the one
However very soon after things ended with the next bf I met dh, who has turned out to be the actual one. No dramas (well not too many) and a sense we will grow old together.

Original poster
HedgehogSmedgehog · 26/08/2020 13:14

@GreyPaw that’s a lovely story, I’m glad you found each other again. Hope it all works out for you both.

@PaperMonster sorry you’ve felt that way for so long.

I’ve tried moving on and dating other people. I don’t know it just never feels anything like the same. I feel happy enough but never had that same sense of this is someone really special.

OP posts:
peachgreen · 26/08/2020 13:29

Yes. We got back together when circumstances were better for us and we're now happily married with a gorgeous DD.

PaperMonster · 26/08/2020 13:33

@LucyLocketsPocket - long, complicated, outing tale! He finds it easier to not have me in his life if we can’t be together, so I respect that and just miss him madly.

Hotelhelp · 26/08/2020 13:36

100000000%

ittooshallpass · 26/08/2020 14:17

No. I don't feel like I lost 'the one'. And sorry OP but I also don't think you EXDP thought you were 'the one' if he was happy to end a relationship based on one argument. That looks like he was looking for an excuse to end it.

I also think that things said in the heat of the moment are often how you truly feel.

Bells3032 · 26/08/2020 14:20

When i was 28 I thought I had. I thought he was the great love of my life and we had a great romance like in the movies and we were destined to be together. i eventually moved on and met an amazing man who showed me that a good relationship shouldn't be all drama like in the movies. I married him and zero regrets, I am so grateful every single day I ended up with my soul mate not the man I had thought was the one

Hiccupiscal · 26/08/2020 15:39

Yes, and ive ended up far worse for it.
Its all been my own doing, which is probably making me stay with this one now, even though this is the worst it could possibly get. I feel your pain, op.
I regret so much and have no idea who I am now, or how my story will end up x

Ishihtzuknot · 26/08/2020 16:00

I lost ‘the one’ when he passed away. I’ve never loved anyone else before or since, including my ex, dds dad. It’s an empty feeling that I don’t believe ever goes away, your heart still pulls to them even when you can’t have them so I know how hard it is to have then loose it.
With relationships that end I don’t believe were the right person for you, everything happens for a reason and I think sometimes it’s a sign someone better is out there and it’s run its course. I think the important lesson is that you got to experience those feelings at all, some people never find the one or fall in love. Use it to grow as a person until you find someone even better.

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