General Sort My Life Out Thread

[AlohaMolly]

I’ve started a few threads like these over the years under different usernames but here I am again!

Lowdown - 32 with 4 year old DS. Work part time as a receptionist, am a trained teacher but quit after having DS. Live with DP, DS’ dad. We rub along ok. I’m 4 stone heavier than when I got pregnant and a stone of that is what I put on over lockdown.

I feel shit. I don’t look after myself, I’m mixed race but have pale skin so all my excess facial hair shows. I’ve currently got a huge moustache and my tits are covered with three inch long hair. I’ve got shit underwear that doesn’t fit and I dress like a sack of potatoes. I constantly apologise for my existence and always have done.

There are several areas that I want to improve on -

PHYSICAL - I want to lose two stone by Christmas but will be happy with a stone. I have huge disordered eating habits so just want to do it healthily with exercise and healthy eating. I cook all our meals from scratch for the most part, but I snack and binge snack.

FINANCIAL - I started sorting my finances out in September last year and have managed to pay off some of my debt and accrue some savings. I want to end the year with £1,500 savings after Christmas etc. I’m currently at just under £1,300 so feel it’s doable, but have an MOT with an aging car and Christmas to contend with too.

MENTAL - I want to introduce better self care, including physical maintenance, exercise and wellbeing. This should be easier after Ds starts school in September.

I like to have an ordered approach so today’s task will be to create timetables for self care, housework and exercise.

Does anyone want to join in with me? I may end up just posting here on my own so I feel accountable but for example, I felt so shit after weigh in this morning that I immediately three fake pain au chocolat things for breakfast, despite knowing I’m going out for lunch later.

I’ll be doing some of that too! I’ve got a stone and a half to shift and I’d like to save a bit more. I’ve downloaded My Fitness Pal so that I can keep track of what I’m eating - it’s bound to be more than I think!

Your post shook something in me. Am also feeling bleurgh. Can empathise a bit! Your post prompted me to pluck my eyebrows & the odd facial hair. DO IT, OP. Get those hairs done, at least. It’s an easy place to start.

I’m in the same place dressing like sack of spuds, etc. Stop apologising for your existence. You sound clever and lively. You need to find your mojo again!

Go easy on yourself re pain au chocs. We all need some pleasures in life. Start tomorrow!

Also, your finances sound do-able... you’re nearly there! BUT is that realistic, with Xmas and car? Again, go easy on yourself. You’re only human.

Post on here if it helps! I don’t know where to start with mine. Maybe hair dye tomorrow for greys. Just managed to style hair & put a bit of slap on...

I’m so in! I recently wrote out a big mind map of all the things I’m trying to keep track of. It was batshit, frankly. I’m trying to make some little changes - my plan is to automate more of life so that I don’t have to keep my head so full of crap!

I have various bigger aims too like fitness and weight loss and sorting the house more.

I’ll be back later with some proper achievable targets :)

I’ll join in. I want to do similar.
I’ve been reading a lot about bingeing and snacking and one thing that made sense to me is that it’s all linked to carbs and insulin levels.
To stop that cycle, I’m going to go low carb for a few days
I’m cooking a load of chicken ad baking a big Greek salad and eating chicken and salad only for a couple of days. It sounds extreme but I’m desperate!

I’m taking some vitamin supplements too. Need to make sure vitamin d levels are good.

I’m dedicating an hour to exercise every day. This is a 45 minute walk and 15 mins of yoga.

I’m so worried about Coronavirus when the kids get back to school that I have to get my weight down before winter.

foureyesgood I too have MFP and when I’m feeling good I use it and it helps!

GreenApples I’m not calorie counting today because I already messed up so I’ll just start again tomorrow. I definitely need to find my mojo - I’ve never been stylish but I used to dress nicely to my figure. I’m curvy even when fat and have big boobs and look best in v necks etc but have fallen into the trap of crew neck jumpers and practical clothing. It’s silly and detrimental to my mental health because it affirms the fact that I look like crap!

SingtotheSky definitely do a mind map! I had such high hopes for 2020 I had broken my life down into areas and assigned a page to each, long term and short term goals and steps to achieve them. It was colour coded and everything... stupid pandemic

So-
TODAY I WILL -

• stick to my grocery budget when shopping today.
• do a ballet stretch workout (I started these during lockdown and LOVED them. Low impact but felt so much better... ditched them when I went back to work)
• burn my tash off. It’s my brothers wedding on Friday and don’t want to ruin the photos by being the Hairy Lady, so thats incentive!
• clean and tidy the living room.

They’re all achievable and doable if I pull my finger out!

I’m in! I’ve literally started this today and then seen this thread.

I’ve started to declutter my house (which I don’t think is too bad but needs doing non the less) I’ve done my bedroom today. Cleared out all my drawers, thrown out old clothes and tatty undies. Large box for charity and bin liner full of rubbish.

I’m single with a a 2 year old. Just ended a new relationship as he wasn’t giving me enough of what I wanted and needed. It was hard as he was great, but he wasn’t the one.

I want to lose a stone and I joined the gym this week. I need to up self care too.

Good luck everyone and Zi look forward to the updates :)

Hello Mislaid! will you let me know how the low carb thing goes? I eat far too many and my blood sugars are complicated I think. I have PCOS and I know there’s a diet that concentrated on your glycemic index for that, but it’s too much for me right now. The exercise thing sounds good too, I’d love to try yoga!

Living it sounds like you’re setting a great example to your two year old by not settling for something second best. How does the gym look where you are?

I hit all of my goals today

• £40 grocery budget, spent £32.45
• just finished my ballet stretch workout for the first time in 3 weeks and definitely felt it, but feel great.
• cleaned and tidied living room
• have repaired to the bedroom to burn my moustache off!

Tomorrow will be a bit crap because I’ve got half a days work before driving 300 miles to a hotel for my brothers wedding on Friday - ceremonies at a registry office at 2 and then I’m driving straight back and working all day Saturday as well, so I don’t expect to achieve much in the way of goals until next week now!

Hello again! Well done for your achievements today and hello to everyone on the thread :o

My main focus is to simplify our life a lot more. I’ve written down lots of ideas for this like signing up to prescription delivery (DH especially takes a lot of meds and being non drivers means lots of trips into town), setting reminders to recur for everything, subscribe and save on various regular purchases if it’s cheaper. Health is also a big aim, I’m enjoying doing more exercise as I couldn’t for years, and I’m also doing 16:8 some days and 14:10 on others which is helping me lose a bit of weight - I have mild PCOS too and am insulin resistant, I did well on LCHF in my last pregnancy but struggle feeling restricted - having time rules instead has felt ok so far (think it’s been 6 weeks now).

Also my older DCs (13 and nearly 11) are having some support sessions from an autism charity, which is lovely and a bit overwhelming, but they are making various suggestions of how we can help them and it’s also made me realise they need to take more responsibility. We’ve been so used to having to keep track of everything for them and we haven’t adapted as they got older. So DD1 has her own calendar now and I ordered one for DS where they can fill in their clubs etc. It’s a bit scary that everything is going back to normal (busy evenings) as having some time off over lockdown was a relief. Definitely need a bigger overall weekly planner for the family.

Achievements today:
🥊Got a proper start on home ed planning. DS has been home educated for five years but we got a lot more structured while we were home more under lockdown and I realised how much better we do with more planning - not just him but me too as I’m not waking up stressed each morning thinking “what should we do today”. So while it’s not strictly sorting my life out it’s all part of the wider plan to make life run more smoothly.
🥊got a bit of home exercise done - bit of stretching/yoga this morning, then a quick play of my boxing game :o and a brief stint on the exercise bike. I do better with shorter bursts really.
🥊found and emailed a charity that might help me find work (I’m autistic and have some chronic conditions, and it’s all feeling pretty daunting - luckily I don’t need to rush and find something so it’s just laying the groundwork.

Tomorrow’s aims:
🎯gym (just booked a session) - so far I have only been once since lockdown and then stuck to yoga classes for a few weeks but I want to try doing both each week from now on.
🎯print out evening routine and actually start using it with DCs.
🎯start looking at my next lot of course materials (I’m doing a counselling skills course and need to get started on my next assignment).

Gosh sorry for waffling on 😳 I am going to read for a bit to try and wind down for sleep. Hope everyone has a great day tomorrow!

I’m a big fan of writing things down, even just a simple to do list app on my phone makes such a big difference!

It’s funny you mention home Ed as we are keen to try it with DS. We were before lockdown but even more so now but I’m struggling to take the leap as I worry about the social aspect. How has it gone for you?

Right, today is my new start.
I’ve woken up with a headache so a bit of a slow start today.
I’ve done my yoga and had a glass of lemon water.
About to have a coffee and then I’ll go for a walk.
On my to do list is -
Go shopping for food
Make my salad and chicken
Do some work (2.5 hrs)
Take the kids out
Read
Start decluttering. I’m starting slow so my aim is to get rid of 7 things in the living room. I figured if I do that with different rooms then it’s not so overwhelming sand should be sorted in a couple of weeks.
Cook dinner for everyone else.

It sounds like you’ve got a productive day ahead of you! Do you feel better for doing the yoga this morning?

I’ve decided to focus on self care today. I’m hoping to get to the hotel for 8/9pm but I want to stop at M&S to pick up some naice stuff for dinner as I don’t want to go to a restaurant at that time of night on my own. My aim is to listen to my body and what it actually wants instead of picking up profiteroles!!

Then tomorrow morning I will sleep until I wake up by myself, read a book, take time over getting ready. It’s only my second night away from DS and the first one was last year in September, so this is also my first lie in since then!

How was your day in the end brain?

Aloha hope you’re having a good time. Good plan to focus on self care. I find that really helpful on days that are mostly to someone else’s schedule like visiting people and big events!

Home ed has been absolutely brilliant for DS, he is autistic/ADHD and sitting in a classroom with so much noise etc was just awful for him. Academically it’s good because we can fit around his needs - he’s quite “wonky” in abilities so we can work at a lower level for English and a higher level for science, and nobody bats an eye because that’s right for him. Socially it’s been much better as there’s a busy community round here and he could have smaller meet ups, go to clubs etc - we prioritised that at the start, some were actual home ed groups in the daytime and others were regular after school things. I guess at the moment it’s trickier to see what the local community is like as so much is cancelled, but Facebook is a good bet if you find a local group on there and see what it’s usually like, maybe chat with some local parents etc. And in any case it’s flexible - there’s nothing wrong with trying it and deciding it’s not right, just because aware of how full local schools are. DD1 went back in December after almost 5 years and settled in very quickly to year 8, DS has no plans to return and is holding out for part time college in a few years.

Yesterday:
✅went to the gym and had a great workout
✅wasn’t a specific target but I also emailed my therapist (not too keen on zoom sessions but I’m booking one for late October to keep me going) and gave my info to a charity who will contact me to discuss helping me find work (given my autism etc) so that’s progress.

DH is out today at a hospital appt and I’ve achieved bugger all so far. I have a zoom appt with DS in an hour (useful but tiring mentally!) and I’m hoping after that I can relax a bit and hopefully start unit 3 of my course later when he’s home.

Sing your set up sounds perfect. I don’t know if it’s the same in England, but in wales children aren’t legally obliged to be in full time school until they turn five and DS is May born, so I think the current plan is to send him and see if it suits. If not, talk to the school and see if they will agree to part time and go from there!

The wedding was nice, I was glad that I went but essentially I drove for 5 hours, slept in a hotel, checked out at 12, sat in Lidl car park for an hour and 45 minutes and then went to the ceremony for an hour. Drove home after that and it took 7 hours! I felt quite refreshed after though as it’s the first time I’ve spent that long away from DS and I really needed it. Driving all that way on my own was actually quite pleasant

The weather is quite nice here today but we live in a tourist hotspot so don’t usually do much on peak season weekends, especially BH ones. DP wants to go for breakfast and DS and I want to show him our ‘secret’ route that we’ve discovered this month. DS will take his bike and we will either walk or see if we can work my new (second hand) bike rack and take ours too!

Either way, my goals today are -

FINANCIAL - no spend day today. For me, no spend days mean no unplanned spending, so DP will buy breakfast if we do go for it and I might see if I can find a nice lunchbox for DS, but I’ve had nothing from his new school about lunches/covid procedures etc so could buy one and they only be allowed to take plastic bags or something! We go on a lot of picnics though so it’s not like it won’t get used.

HOUSE - put a load of washing on and tidy my floordrobe in our bedroom

PHYSICAL - bike ride/walk somewhere nice.

SELF CARE - stay hydrated. I’m so terrible at drinking and I have a bit of an issue with it. Some days I’ll get to bedtime wondering why I’ve got a headache and realise I had a latte that morning and that was it, but the more dehydrated I get, the more I get a bit of a liquid aversion. I’m currently nursing a cup of tea and am aiming for four drinks today.

Sounds like a good plan aloha we kept DD1 on half days on Fridays for most of reception as she was a June baby. They have the same rule here I think. We are currently debating whether to send DD2 back to nursery as we are set on home ed from the beginning for her but at the moment with the pandemic and various other factors she needs to be better entertained. I just really hope that by the time she’s school age the clubs have restarted (she can start things like parkour and gym) and I’m really missing a playgroup we went to once a week.

I guess you could still look into what the local community is like while he starts school, so that if you do want to take him out you have some connections already and (pandemic dependent) places to meet others etc.

Anyway target wise, Friday was an absolute disaster in the end, MH crash, yesterday was better and I managed to do some of my course which made me feel good as well as obviously being better for the long term.

Today is DS’ birthday so not really got any aims although I did sort my meds for the week, when I slip with that I end up only taking my ADHD meds and not bothering with the vitamins. So that’s self care covered. I’ve also eaten a better breakfast for me (egg bacon etc - the last couple of days I had white toast and jam which turns me into a carb fiend all day) so I feel a bit more human now.

I’m going to have a look at subscribe and save on amazon now as it would really help us to have less to think about.

Happy birthday to your DS I hope you had a lovely day yesterday.

I managed a no spend day yesterday, tidied the floordrobe and put a wash on. We did go out but it was more of a bimble to a beach than a proper walk! I did not manage to stay hydrated and suffered for it.

Today -

FINANCIAL - no spend day
PHYSICAL - walk/bike ride
SELF CARE - drink drink drink
HOUSE - more laundry and a whizz round the bathroom!

TODAY I WILL -

Financial - stick to budget/sinking funds for uniform
Physical - get some active minutes and a walk with DS and some friends
Self care - organise the calendar, check face for hair!
House - laundry and kitchen

Yesterday I -

• did not stick to my budget 😂
• did over 10k steps and got 80 active minutes on our walk
• provisionally organised the calendar but did not check my face
• did lots of laundry and the kitchen.

Today I will

• stick to my grocery budget. Stick to cash for our planned day out.
• accumulate 10k steps again and do a ballet workout
• listen to my body and not binge snacks today
• finish laundry and clean DS’ bedroom.

I hope you all have a good day!

Great work aloha!

DS had a great birthday thank you, I’ve been a bit useless since TBH. Did yoga yesterday though which was nice. Been eating really badly (well, probably not actually that bad compared to the past, but I know it’s too carby etc, the sugar and junk food cravings are really strong at the moment!).

Feeling a bit overwhelmed about the start of term, don’t have a huge amount to do to get DD1 ready, but took a while to get back into planning for DS. I’m doing loads of the latter today, but only because I’m knackered and DH is ill in bed, so we aren’t managing anything else really, and that’s stressing me out.

Self care has been all but abandoned the last week or so and I don’t think I’ll make it to the gym today either. Due to covid, sessions have to be booked for particular times, and because we don’t drive, it involves a lot more time to get there in order not to be late IYSWIM. I’ll go Saturday instead as I don’t want to lose the current progress of one gym, one yoga each week. I also had a quick peek in the pool and it looks really empty, so I’m hoping I can get the confidence to go back (I’m not a good swimmer so compulsory lane swimming is a bit worrisome 😳) maybe next week.

Good morning everyone!

I disappeared as last week went to shit due to DS getting a cough, being off school and having to isolate till results came back etc.

I’m so fat though

This is my first full day alone and not at work for over four years and I’ve just got home from the school run and am like... why is it so quiet?? I volunteered to work from home 10-2 so it doesn’t leave much space either side and between school runs to do errands etc but I’m hoping to be productive. My budget has taken a bit of a hammering so I’m being very frugal as well.

TODAY I WILL

• PHYSICAL - do a ballet stretch workout. Get above 7k steps.
• FINANCIAL - no spend day!
• HOUSE - wash our bedding. Prepare kitchen for cooking a roast. General tidy.
• SELF CARE - like... sit in silence?

I hope everyone’s ok!