What can your 7 year old do for themselves?

[idontneedhelpyoudo]

Just that really, honest answers. Can't tell if I'm trusting too much or not enough?
Inspired by group chat comments

Can they make their own breakfast?
Run a bath and get in and bath themselves?
Shower and dry themselves without help?
Pour themselves a drink?
Anything else you can think of?

I think I might be helecoptering a bit and stressing myself out seeing to all of them.

I'm going to try a bit more independence (probably still watching from a distance 😅) and see what we're actually capable of.

It sounds like I'm being had!

I watch from a distance on all of this too. I am still at the teaching them how to do things rather than fully expecting them to do it stage. A lot of it isnt done well! My dh isnt really showing a desire to be independent. My niece was fiercely independent and can do more.

Hmm Ilbit of a freudian slip there....I meant ds not dh but it does apply to dh too on some of this lol.

Compared to this my dd7 (very nearly 8!) is useless! She doesn’t do her own bath, hates showers and can’t make breakfast for herself, she wouldn’t know where to start with a sandwich!! Can’t brush her hair (it’s thick and curly though).

She can now get dressed, although I have to pass her uniform to her in the morning.

I think there's a balance between encouraging independence, safety, and just getting the job done quickly.
My DS is 7 and could get himself up and dressed for school, brush his teeth, make breakfast, make a packed lunch and pack his school bag independently, but it would take him several hours as he'd distract himself with YouTube or other nonsense! So he does some stuff, and I do the rest so we can get out of the door on time.
I wouldn't let him cook, use a sharp knife or run his bath without supervision, those things are too dangerous in my opinion. Even I need supervision sometimes!
Kids of his age can do a lot and are keen to learn so it's a good time to teach them, but it always has to be done safely

My 6.5 year old could get himself some fruit, cereal and a drink sorted but there's no way he could make pancakes on his own (I'd be furious with him if he tried tbh!). He can select clothes, dress himself, put dirty washing in the basket, make his bed etc. He could pack an overnight bag but I would check it. We bake and cook but for fun as an activity to do together, we make them their food generally. I still do his teeth and inhaler. He can manage in a shower okay, but couldn't reach to turn it on or sort the temperature so couldn't do it fully independently. I still help dry him. He struggles getting into and out of our big bath safely, I still like to be nearby for baths.
I don't mind that he's not super independent yet, he only six. I don't expect him to be able to do everything but I do like him to try.

Ds 6 (nearly 7) can-
-Make his own breakfast
-Shower and dress himself
-Make his bed
-Strip his bedding
-pack his bag for an overnight stay
-Put his plates etc in the dishwasher
-He's asked to learn how to start the washing machine and dishwasher so we've started teaching him and he can do this supervised.

He is really keen to do things himself and really likes to help so is keen to learn how to do things on his own.

Mine is 8. To be fair there’s no point comparing a 4.5 year old to a 7 year old as there is a huge ability gap there.
By age 7 DS1 could:

1. Make toast.
2. Organise cereal.
3. Make his bed.
4. Help me with laundry/dishwasher.
5. Read to his toddler brother while I had a shower.
6. Run his bath, brush his teeth and get dressed.
7. Get dressed for school in the morning.

All of this is not always done efficiently or at great speed. But he can do it all.
On weekdays now he gets up, makes toast for himself and his sibling. And cereal for himself. Then when he’s eaten he goes up and gets dressed, comes down, needs 15 reminders to brush his teeth and then he does piano practice. And then we head for school.
My 3.5 year old can change his clothes and is learning to wipe his bum properly in preparation for preschool. That’s about it.

My 7 (8 in a couple of months) can do the following and has been able to for some time:
Make her own simple breakfast and get herself a drink.
Shower herself, but I check the water temp.
Wash her hair but I still check she gets all the shampoo out as her hair is thick
Pack her own school bag using the schedule that is stuck to the fridge.
Put her clothes away in the right drawers.

DS 7 shower,
Dress
Make breakfast
Make a sandwich
Make a cup of tea for me.... me standing by and doing the kettle bit!
Read his brother a book
Teach his teddies phonics
Brush teeth and hair
Knows all the passwords for Netflix and x box, my iPhone and nanny's
Make me laugh and smile

Ds is 4 and he runs his own bath, gets himself in, washes himself including hair, gets out and puts towel on, dries himself off and gets himself dressed. (He is supervised but from a distance- its amazing how many jobs you can find to do on the landing).
He's been known to make me and dh breakfast in bed so is capable of a bowl of cereal but he's not a breakfast eater so doesn't do his own. He can make a sandwich though, and a drink. He is incredibly independent but that's because he wants to be (youngest of 5 so trying to be big like the others). However he will also cry for 2hrs straight and be incapable of walking anywhere if he gets a slightest scratch (I'm not 100% sure he is totally NT)
Ds8 can do all that you mention as well. He's been making his own packed lunches for school since yr3.

@summerfish I was just thinking that!! Lol.

My kids do not dust, make meals, hoover etc etc.....
They can make a sandwich.....normally don't because its quicker and tidier if I do it.

My 8 year old has only just been allowed the squash bottles this year because they use too much!!

Yes they can shower. But my daughter, 10, has really long hair and sometimes she wants help with it.....

They are only kids. There is a difference between teaching skills they can use. And making them do everything all the time.

You will probably find that when your youngest is 7 they will do far more than your eldest.....because if you do it for the little ones then doing it for one more is easy.....but when they grow up the little one will just copy what they do.

This thread has made me think. My ds1 is 7 next month but doesn’t do much for himself and we have never really encouraged him to. I think because he has a 2 year old brother, we obviously do everything for our youngest son so just naturally do it for ds1 too. I should really start to be more mindful about letting ds1 try and do things on his own to encourage independence.

My DS just turned 8, and has mild executive function issues. He can:

• Dress himself
• Start a load of washing, and transfer to tumble drier
• Pick his washing out of the clean pile and put it away
• Pour a drink
• Raid the fridge for fruit/snack
• Cobble together a simple breakfast
• Take the rubbish/recycling out
• Tidy his toys out of the front room (badly - like me, poor spatial awareness and misses things)
• Run his own bath, wash himself, get into PJs
• Floss his own teeth, using a kid size floss holder thing.
• Ride his bike / run around the block by himself.

He still has trouble with:

• Toilet stuff. Asks if I will "check" (i.e. wipe after he has had a go)
• Adequate tooth brushing - needs someone dextrous to go over them all for him.
• Crossing roads on his own. He's getting a lot better with this lately though.

My Ds7 can shower and dress himself, make breakfast for himself and his brother (cereal or toast but he usually gets me to spread the topping on), pour juice, bung the kettle on (i'd still pour it out).

When I've been working he's been known to make them both lunch too if I'm stuck on a call. Basic sandwich, crisps and fruit.

He wouldn't dream of ever making his bed though or opening the curtains in the morning!

Like most things we learn to do - you do it in stages.
You don't go from "Here's your fully prepared lunch dc" to "I'm off out, fend for yourself"....... you do 'small steps' :
Can you get the things on the table ready for lunch?
You spread the butter
Putting things on the table and letting them choose / make their own sandwich
Them doing it whilst you are in the kitchen doing something else
etc
etc

My 6 and a half year old can do all that, just choses not to and shout me for some of it. He's pretty self sufficient.