Would you send money to a stranger on the internet?

[TBHno]

Just that really.

I'm a big believer in charity. I occasionally give cash to the homeless. All of my unwanted clothes, books etc. go to charity shops. I have 2 monthly direct debits to charities that I trust.

However, I would never give money to a stranger on the internet. The only exception I can think of is Gofundmes of Crowdjustices.

A lot of threads on here seem to get deleted because people are being scammed into sending money. I just don't get this? In 99% of cases, it would be a scam?

Anyway, I'm interested in hearing if anyone has actually done this, and what happened after?

I would never ever do it on a site as big as this. I have contributed to crowdfunders etc on smaller forums where I've 'known' the posters for years/decades or where I know the person/friend of friend in real life. I contribute to crowdjustices but not random gofundme type things.

In the US there's a great giving site where you can contribute to local schools' supply lists - they list specifically what they need and the targets are usually fairly small so you feel like you've 'achieved' something by browsing there and pledging $20 or so. I'd do similar for foodbanks here.

Nope never.

No not a stranger. Have given money to a gofundme because the person was an acquaintance and I knew they were genuine.

Yes, one December on small fb group, a long standing member (not that I knew her) was reluctantly selling a stash of new wooden toys. The pricing was lower than it needed to be as their washing machine had apparently broken. I messaged her and paid for £20 for one of the toys and told her to wrap it straight up for her toddler's christmas present regardless. She offered to pay it back but I just told her to pay it forward at some point if she was ever in a position to. I don't think it was a scam but even if it was I still think it is worth taking the risk on occasion as long as you can afford to.

There was a heartbreaking thread on here a couple of years ago. A single mum asking for help to budget her food shopping for 3 weeks as she'd had to pay for a suit and travel to a friends funeral. She had some brilliant advice but I's just won a voucher for a number of shops which included M&S which I really didn't need so I offered it to her. She refused but I would have been happy to have sent it to her.

There are some good people still around.

I sent some money to a Mumsnetter who I had been messaging after reading her thread. I think she was genuine and accessed some help I signposted her to. She promised she would repay it but never did. I never expected it back and treated it as a gift.
I am usually very cynical but decided in this case that I would help.

Once, to a MNetter. Like a PP she replied to a thread with wording that made her circumstances sound very precarious. I checked her out, had her address, full name etc and it all seemed to be consistent. If I lost £20 to her so be it.

Never. I support a local homeless centre and make a monthly donation to a charity. I’d never give to a complete stranger on the internet

The problem with the posters saying ‘if I lose £20, so be it’ is that over a period of time trust has been eroded.

I pity anyone genuinely asking for advice on finances as it is assumed to be a begging thread. Some have been pretty elaborate and clever scams and it isn’t a “victimless” crime, it means other MNetters now can’t access the support and the comfort people once could.

No, never. I can understand why MN are hot on sending the warning messages though as there are always threads popping up. Not as many as there used to be though and no crowd funding on here in a while. It’s better since the secret santa went I feel.

Don’t donate to crowd fundraisers either. Only give to registered charities.

I give to individuals in my home country. It's impoverished, even someone "middle class" is on the bones of their arse, particularly with coronavirus in play. Scammers need money too, that's why they're scamming, after all.

Just today I saw a post on a FB page for a school I once attended, raising funds to cover hospital fees for a pupil of the school who had died suddenly. I gave 500 quid. I hope to god it alleviates some suffering.

I also regularly donate to bail funds, immigration lawyers, etc to help migrants/refugees. I have funded informal social work networks as well. Formal charities don't necessarily reach those who are in dire need.

I probably wouldn't give cash via mumsnet though. Most folk here are British and even the most impoverished in Britain still have shelter, some food, clean water and medical treatment. Which isn't the case in my home country.

@Ahorsecalledseptember I prefer to see the best in people and MNHQ can post a warning. It’s up to other people to choose what they want to do with their money.

I agree that there are some posters who are dreadful manipulators though.

Not money, but I did send a food shop to a struggling Mumsnetter who had a long running thread about 7 years ago. Unfortunately I was in a fairly vulnerable position at the time and I've since heard that poster was a scammer. I regret it but glad it was food not just money.

I really dislike this ^^attitude of blaming the victims of fraudsters just because they can choose what they want to do with their money. Would you feel the same if it was a criminal gang targeting your elderly parents and persuading them to transfer their life savings to an off-shore account?

Sorry, that was to the sly poster above.

I don’t believe in infantilising people no, it’s patronising and belittling.

You are happy to blame the victims?

People do need to accept some responsibility for being scammed on here. Seriously, who doesn’t know you shouldn’t send money to randoms on the internet?

I’ve twice offered to send cash/a food shop to posters on here where it’s been really clear that they’re struggling.

Both times the posters declined.

I’ve twice offered to send cash/a food shop to posters on here where it’s been really clear that they’re struggling.

It was really clear that the posts written painted a picture of someone suffering. You can’t know that that was true.

It was really clear that the posts written painted a picture of someone suffering. You can’t know that that was true

Yes obviously. I’m not mind reader so I can only form an opinion on the basis of what was stated in the post and in their other posts

I was satisfied that they were honest. If they weren’t I don’t really care but the fact that they declined the offer reinforces my view they were not scammers

Just to be clear, this scammers are ultimately the ones at fault in my opinion.

However, I do think that most people who get scammed should be wise enough to know better.

Then again, whenever I read Chat or Take Break, I'm truly amazed by how many people still fall for the love rat scam!

I have, twice. Got two good friends out of it. I would do it again if my instincts said yes.

That's sweet Pointy