I'm really struggling

[ilovemycatanddog]

I was domesticity abused for decades. Raped repeatedly. I have ptsd, memory loss etc..

I have been away from my ex husband for a couple of years and since we split I have kept on going for the sake of my kids.

All of a sudden it has hit me. I'm frightened to leave the house, I'm having horrible nightmares.
I don't want to go to work. I'm barely washing or getting dressed.

I'm on the brink of I don't know what and I'm frightened. I have to go to work tomorrow but I'm panicking and the thought.

Is there any way that you can reach out for therapy? Women’s Aid might be able to point you on the right direction.

Womens aid are so helpful and understanding. You can just chat to them on the phone and go over everything.
Something long term might be meds from the doctor.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with stuff though.
Hope you are okay and get some support

@ilovemycatanddog
Sounds awful, ring in sick tomorrow and phone your G.P. Try not to panic, I know your afraid. Is there a friend/family you could talk to for a little reassurance until morning.

Have you had any medical/spychological help to deal with your traumas? Call in sick and go to GP.

I didn't want to read and run. All of the above advice seems sound and Women's Aid can be very helpful going forward. There is no time limit on when trauma can rear it ugly head and it sounds like you've been through an awful lot.

If you can ring in sick tomorrow, then do so and get in touch with your GP. This may well be a long process but by seeking support tomorrow you're taking steps for a better future.

Sorry. I'm really struggling to even write at the moment, I can't shake this feeling off.

Social services when they were involved because of domestic violence tried to force me to go and I just shut everyone out. I wasn't ready to talk, I don't think I ever will. He tortured me in every way.

Google ‘grounding and stabilising techniques’ - there are things you can do to help the physical and emotional symptoms. Your mind and body are still registering danger everywhere; it’s a survival mechanism. It got you through the abuse to safety. Now you’re ready to accept help from a therapist, your GP, Women’s aid.

I’m working my way through Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman, if you can’t face talking to someone. It may help.