Winter birthday, autistic 10yo and no masks...what can I do?

[windyautumn]

Ds is turning 10 in December. He's autistic (pretty high functioning) and can't cope with masks (I know he doesn't have to wear them) but hates us wearing them because we can't communicate properly and he can't read facial expression etc. We just don't go anywhere where we have to wear them as a family.

Anyway, he doesn't have any friends so he doesn't have parties etc. We've always celebrated his birthday with an outing as a family eg science museums, Harry Potter studios, Star Wars exhibits, gaming events etc. It's a big deal for him. A special weekend each year where we really make a fuss (and ignore the fact he has no one but us that care about him on his birthday)

What the hell can I choose for him. I'm stuck. Everywhere indoors needs masks. Not an option. Home party - not an option, see above. Outdoors is mostly shut in early December. Postponing is not an option - autism rules and all that.

Any suggestions PLEASE help!!

A weekend away somewhere? Cottage at the seaside?

Alton towers closes after bonfire night usually. I wouldn't expect them to be open. Other theme parks may be different.

Any winter winderland events nearby? Our local one is usually outdoors.

Any outdoor adventures? A forest place near us does axe throwing, archery, den building sort of stuff for families.

Something special to be delivered to home for you all to do? I guess I'm thinking along the lines of a hellofresh box but that is a craft or science spectacular for a family to do together. No idea if this exists.

Hot tub at home?? Some girls I know have wanted that for lockdown birthdays.

@bathorshower

Zoo? They're mostly outdoor, so you'd need warm clothes, but we went to Colchester in July, and no-one was wearing masks.

We've done our local zoo to death but I might look into zoos further afield...or safari type parks maybe...thanks!

Could you do a weekend stay in a wildlife park hotel?

www.aspinallfoundation.org/port-lympne/short-breaks/tiger-lodge/

@SilentSally

I know you’ve just commented on this but, the gov guidance states this under their section “when you do not need to wear a face covering”:

if you are speaking to or providing assistance to someone who relies on lip reading, clear sound or facial expressions to communicate

as for people questioning your reasons for not wearing a covering if you’re out, a simple “we are exempt” without explanation is enough. Plus, from all the comments on here about coverings, you’d should be aware that it’s illegal for people to question you’re non-wearing.

I know....ds presents easily as NT (until he doesn't!) and I feel like people would thing we were just taking the piss and we'd feel really uncomfortable waiting to be asked all the time.

@LunaLoveFood

Longleat will have their festival of light around that time of year.

Oooooh - that's on the list to consider!

@RedCatBlueCat

A weekend away somewhere? Cottage at the seaside?

Alton towers closes after bonfire night usually. I wouldn't expect them to be open. Other theme parks may be different.

Any winter winderland events nearby? Our local one is usually outdoors.

Any outdoor adventures? A forest place near us does axe throwing, archery, den building sort of stuff for families.

Something special to be delivered to home for you all to do? I guess I'm thinking along the lines of a hellofresh box but that is a craft or science spectacular for a family to do together. No idea if this exists.

Hot tub at home?? Some girls I know have wanted that for lockdown birthdays.

Some amazing suggestions here - thank you!

@RainbowRaine

Could you do a weekend stay in a wildlife park hotel?

That's a good idea too....

Thanks everyone - I've got LOADS of ideas now to consider!!

Everywhere indoors needs masks.

I would decide where you want to go and call in advance saying you will coming on... but you all willnot be wearing masks because...

Get some sunflower lanyards to wear so most people will easily recognise disability is at play when you aren't wearing masks.

My autistic daughter where's her sunflower lanyard and no one has questioned her at all - you wear one as well!

I was also going to suggest sport Lympne safari park but see I've been beaten to it! You can stay overnight and have a view of the animals. And there's a pizza restaurant, I think?

Planning on taking my DD (also autistic), it looks perfect!

Good luck finding something that suits x

I wear a sunflower badge and rubber wristband (I have a lanyard I wear for air travel, but I have to wear a collared shirt with it as I don't like things on my neck, hence the badge and wristband at the moment).

I haven't been asked why I'm not wearing a face covering, and all staff have been fine. I've had dirty looks off a few other people in places, but that is their problem and not mine, so as long as I'm not challenged they can think what they want. I would be very anxious if challenged too, so I'm glad things have gone smoothly so far.

As other have said, I would obtain a sunflower lanyard (or other identifier), and also wear one yourself - you will have a lot more choice then!

(I also present as NT until I don't, so I understand that completely!)

Zoo or some national trust places by me do a lantern/light walk in winter if he enjoys sensory lights. You may benefit from lanyards (if ds would wear one) that state you are mask exempt so people dont keep asking if that upsets him

Ds won't wear a lanyard or be invoked in anything that identifies him as autistic to others. It's all a source of great shame to him and he wants to be 'normal'. I think in the current climate we should just avoid rather than confront this!

I love the outdoors suggestions, thank you so much. Some things id never thought of!