Postpone wedding for family planning

[Al232]

My partner and I have had to postpone our wedding date twice due to the covid situation. I am 30 and my fiance is 38, we were hoping to try for a baby this autumn after our wedding but this is now on hold till summer 2021. We have both spent a lot of time discussing the positives and negatives of postponing the wedding for a few years in order to plan for our first child, and are conflicted as we feel that time is going on and nobody knows what situation we will all be in in the new year. I am just seeking a bit of advice or anything we could think about if we decided to try for a baby this year and leave wedding plans till much later, I am worried that my family will be angry with our choice, we are fortunate to be in stable employment. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.

Why not have a small registry wedding if you'd prefer to be married before having children. You can have a big celebratory party next year when things open up again.

I do know a few people actually who had been planning big 2020 weddings for some time and had wanted to start trying for a baby immediately after who decided to keep the baby part of the plan even if the rest went to pot..

I think it’s a shame if this crappy year has to ruin all your plans and I for one would be going ahead with trying for a baby. Maybe arranging a register office wedding whilst pregnant or something.

Of the couples I know who decided to try anyway one woman got immediately pregnant. I know they had provisionally been planning to move the big wedding back a year but have since decided actually that it doesn’t sound like much fun with a 3 month old and that the idea of the big 30k wedding doesn’t excite anymore so a cheap and cheerful day with immediate family is happening soon.

I’d have a small registry office wedding now rather than delay again just for the sake of the party/big day. If you truly want to make the commitment the “set dressing” wouldn’t matter one bit.

I wouldn’t be actively TTC at present though personally. Too much is unknown about the virus and the economy too uncertain.

Have a basic legal ceremony now

Then the big party later when you can, which could be a formal blessing that looks just like a wedding, or any other style of party that takes your fancy at the time (which might be quite different, if you are parents by then)

Thank you for your reply 😊

We're in the same boat. We've decided that if we do get pregnant then we'll postpone wedding. We may or may not do a registry wedding but I kinda just want to do it all in one. It matters more to my family than to me to be married first but I know I defo don't want to be pregnant on my wedding day so it's one or the other for me. Obviously if a miracle happens and we can conceive naturally then I'll still go ahead with wedding if it's booked.

It's a hard choice and no one can make it for you