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Original poster

Can anyone help me understand this?

13 replies

FinnyStory · 22/08/2020 14:40

I have a friend who is absolutely stunning. Early 40s but looks about 23 and gorgeous with it. She's tiny, small in stature and I'd guess about a size 6. She's also pretty flat chested, which is in keeping with her overall build.

Or at least she was, she just had enlargement surgery.

She has a history of unstable mental health, although she's seemed much better recently. She has a 2yo with her current partner and 2 older children, one of whom has SN. She also has a strained relationship with her mother, who disapproves of the current relationship (or, I think more that she didn't stay with the father of the other children) but who she also relies on a lot for help with the children. New partner is lovely, very supportive of her and good with all the children.

She has a lot of "reasons" to find life hard but her appearance really isn't one of them,although of course mental health doesn't work like that.

What I'm struggling with is why her partner would pay for this (he did) rather than telling her she's perfect on repeat?

She's an intelligent woman, I don't understand why, despite her MH, she believes changing the size of her breasts will make her happier.

Or is it just me? I have never set much store by my appearance (just as well ) but to me it seems fairly obvious that if you're desperately unhappy about your appearance, the actual appearance is probably not the issue. Or maybe it is?

OP posts:

Sarahlou63 · 22/08/2020 14:47

Why don't you ask her? "Friend, do you think your new breast size will make you happier?" Simples.

Original poster

FinnyStory · 22/08/2020 14:50

Well yes of course she thinks it will make her happier. She hasn't undergone surgery for no reason.

OP posts:

imissthesouth · 22/08/2020 15:08

You have to talk for her if you want answers, a lot of women (and men) think that cosmetic surgery will solve all their problems and make them happier. Normally it's just something they feel insecure about, it's a pretty common thing to have surgery these days, most of my friends have had implants, nose jobs, jaw augmentations etc. I'm au natural still, although maybe i'll treat myself to a facelift at 40😅

PurpleDaisies · 22/08/2020 15:11

Maybe it will make her happier. You don’t know how she felt about her body.

I really don’t know why her child having SN is at all relevant to her breast size.

Original poster

FinnyStory · 22/08/2020 15:13

Neither do I Purple but I suspect it has more to do with her anxiety than her bust size does!

OP posts:

Elieza · 22/08/2020 15:18

My friend got her boobs done after having a baby and ending up deflated. She does look better as she chose a good size and not an oversized look.

It has made her happier. At £10k every decade I should bloody well hope so as it’s not a cheap fix.

She’ll be permanently paying off the debt or saving for the next lot (I believe you need to get them replaced for H&S reasons). Not easy in part time wages but her choice and I hope it makes her happy.

CabernetSoWhat · 22/08/2020 15:18

Sounds like her business, not yours.

PurpleDaisies · 22/08/2020 15:19

I really don’t know why her child having SN is at all relevant to her breast size.

Neither do I Purple but I suspect it has more to do with her anxiety than her bust size does!

You were the one talking about her child’s SN in your first post. You obviously think it is relevant.

Look, you obviously don’t approve but it really isn’t any of your business. She felt it would make her happier with her body. They had funds to do it. Someone else constantly telling you you look perfect doesn’t always change how you feel about yourself.

It’s not a decision I can see myself making but who knows if I was in her position. I’d be very upset by a friend of mine posting a thread like this about me.

Original poster

FinnyStory · 22/08/2020 17:26

Yes, I think having a SM child is more likely to be affecting her general wellbeing than the size of her breasts is.

It's not that I don't approve, I don't understand. If it's going to make her happy then brilliant but is there any evidence that this kind of surgery does that?.

OP posts:

Cananyoneelseseethis · 22/08/2020 18:52

I had a cosmetic procedure (not the same one but one that was significantly altering to my appearance) many years ago and it changed my life infinitely for the better. It was not an indication of anything other than something I didn't think 'fit' my body (despite everyone else telling me I was mad and 'perfect' - as you say - on repeat)
that I had the opportunity to change. I would l do it again in a heartbeat. I know plenty of people (lots of boob jobs, a few nose jobs etc) whose had similar surgeries and not one of them has regretted it. If its not for you, it's not for you, but for many many people, these kinds of surgeries are significantly life-changing (I concede that works both ways for some) x

Emancipated · 22/08/2020 19:06

Boobs can give you a good shape though. So if she’s hung up on her small chest I can totally understand why it may give her the boost she wants.

lovelymm · 22/08/2020 19:13

Jealous much?

Krazynights34 · 22/08/2020 19:13

I’d love to have a boob lift (pretty big and going south post babies).
Would I feel better- absolutely!
Do I want the pain - no!
Do I want the cost - no!
I tell you though - if I could have them reduced and lifted for about £2000 I’d do it.
I’m a fairly feisty person who doesn’t care about how I or anyone else looks, but the comfort...
She probably thinks clothes would fit better or maybe she’s had nasty comments.
She is entitled to have her reasons and it’s not hurting anyone else...

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