How would you react?

[kayleesmithy]

I just want to know how you would react if your partner called your 4 year old son a "wet lettuce?"

Would you ignore it or say something?

It sounds ridiculous and childish but I'm bothered by it.

Partner is not son's dad.

I'd think WTF am I doing wasting my time with this twat? I'd definitely say something, several somethings. What a horrible thing to say about a child.

I have an 18 week old baby girl with him . If I didn't I'd probably leave him

Did he say it in front of the child? I wouldn’t like it, depends if it was a bit jokey.. or serious/nasty. How he treats the child generally, was he having a bad a day/ grumpy.

You can still leave. At least start putting plans into place. I don't know what else he does but that comment is awful and you said that you'd leave him if it wasn't for the baby. That says a lot.

I’d just have a stern word about positive reinforcement. If it kept happening, I’d rethink my relationship.

Perhaps it's justified. Perhaps he is a bit of a wet lettuce?

Perhaps it's justified. Perhaps he is a bit of a wet lettuce?

FFS. He's 4!

Need context here.
Was he crying because he had coloured outside the lines in his drawing? Or had spilt a bit of water?
That would be ‘wet lettucey’ to me.

@RunningFromInsanity

Need context here. Was he crying because he had coloured outside the lines in his drawing? Or had spilt a bit of water? That would be ‘wet lettucey’ to me.

It doesn't matter what the context is, he is four years old. Needing support to manage his emotions is completely age appropriate.

Op I had an ex that would say the same about my son. He is an ex as that was only a small part of the abuse we suffered. At the time I didnt think I could manage on my own, but that was symptomatic of the abuse too.

Consider if there are any red flags in the rest of your relationship. Come back to us if you feel you need support to leave. There is a minefield of support here. It was a similar post on her that made me realise and it was a slow dawning of realisation for me.

Now years later, life is so much better, in ways I would never have imagined.

Trust your instinct here, its not OK to call a four year old a wet lettuce. You are not overreacting.

Agree with PPs, it’s depends on the context?
Hardly the worst insult in the world is it, if he was moaning because he didn’t want to go out in the rain for example?

I do think context is needed.

Also, I didn’t know what it meant so I had to google it.

You might want to have a chat that now a day it might not be politically correct to use the term and in any event, you’d appreciate him not referring to your son that way.

Depends on the context.

That's the thing there is no context. He was bit fussy having his lunch and said something like hope he's not a wet lettuce. Couple of says ago he called him a 'Jessie' which I didn't know what it meant so googled it

Well, I had to google that too. Never heard of a Jessie.

Frankly I’d have a chat with your DP that you don’t appreciate the comments and even if your son in later life determines himself to be gay it otherwise, it doesn’t matter as long as your son is happy. Derogatory words though are unacceptable and he needs to stop. If not, you’d be thinking again about continuing your relationship as you’ll not have someone brung negative about your child.

Ah. Now there is context if he called him a 'Jessie' as well. They're perjorative terms for gay men

@iklboo

Ah. Now there is context if he called him a 'Jessie' as well. They're perjorative terms for gay men

Yes, a bit like limp wristed, I wouldn't like that at all