Weight - don’t know if I just have a warped view

[Rosegoldnights]

This is not a stealth boast before anyone says anything! Despite trying to eat healthier the last month or so and getting back to the gym recently now it’s re-opened, I seem to be ‘stuck’ at about 58.5kg. I’m 5’6. Early 30s.

Right up until lockdown really I was always about 55kg so really I’ve put on about 3.5kg in the last few months which although I know doesn’t mean I’m overweight, is still quite a lot for me.

I’m not sure what I’m asking really but I just don’t feel happy with this weight and how I look but friends and family are telling me I don’t look like I’ve put on weight (and some of them would definitely be honest including DH) but I have!!

Without sparking off a competitive weight thread, does anyone have roughly the same weight/height as me and do you feel slim? Or if not, if you feel slim/good, what weight/height are you?

BMI is 20.7 which is healthy but I just can’t shake the want to be thinner

You are slim and 7 pounds gain is not something I think I would notice on anyone at all. In fact you can lose 7 pounds easily in 2 weeks. I think this is a brain glitch OP and I mean that really nicely. I think you are seeing things magnified for some reason.

I'd say definitely pretty slim.

I'm 60kg and a few inches shorter. Bmi 23ish i think? I felt better at 58kg.

So I totally believe you can feel even a few pounds gain. You sound a very healthy weight though :) Maybe just a little higher than you've been used to so it feels strange?

A BMI of 20 is closer to underweight than overweight

So try reframing it

I'm a very constant weight but definitely put on a couple of pounds during lockdown. I'm slim and only 5ft 3 so can absolutely see and feel even the smallest gain in weight.

I lost them quickly by facing the fact that eating biscuits, crisps and chocolate everyday, while barely moving, could never have been a long term option

It's about half a stone. Chances are, as things head back to "normal" you'll lose it just from moving more, going out and about everyday life.
I don't think anyone really has a true picture of what anyone weighs now, it doesn't matter what you weigh, how tall you are, what your BMI is, someone somewhere will tell you it's wrong! Everyone is too fat/skinny/looks unwell/needs to lose or gain a few pounds... The media has made it so that we are ALL "wrong" all the time.
I always think of a really horrid "joke" I heard once when the topic of weight comes up "if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass has shared the sandwich, they would both be here today" , and, vile as it is, it kind of sums up society's attitude to weight, especially women's weight. It is never ok

You're around 130 pounds.

I'm 5'6 and in my late thirties too and weigh around 140 pounds. I feel best at around 135 lbs to be honest but losing the last bit is so tough and frankly I cba

Thanks all I’ve got into the habit of obsessively tracking calories but somehow even though I’m staying below the amount my fitness pal recommends I’m still not losing weight!

yes you have a warped view, and excess concern.
Why do you think that is?

Your post is an example of where many of us seem to be with food and exercise these days.

Some would hold you up as an example of health but in reality you are 'obsessively tracking calories' and food has become the enemy and exercise the penance.

It would help if we could all start being honest.

I think your relationship with your weight is not healthy.
How do you feel physically?
Why do you want to be thinner? What does it mean to you?

I think when your bmi gets to that sort of number your body starts clinging to each additional pound and it takes a lot longer to shift. I’ve been stuck at 60kg for about a month and have been tracking cals every day and have only in the last couple days got down to 59.5! It’s a slow process but I think the crucial thing to stop it being unhealthy is making sure you have a number in mind that you want to get to that you will stop losing weight at so you don’t drop to an unhealthy weight And making sure you always have at least 1200 cals a day. (Obviously intermittent fasting etc is different but essentially don’t let yourself develop unhealthy eating habits, skipping meals etc)

I can see how it would be easy to feel very different at that weight.

I weigh a lot more than you, and my weight has circled around the same four pound range through lockdown, and I feel HUGE at the top, but have woken up feeling slinky today at the bottom.

But keep it in perspective - you are at a slim, healthy weight, and undoubtedly the biggest damage you can to to yourself is mental.

I'm the same height, but mid-40s. My fighting weight is about ten stone three, so MUCH heavier than you! During lockdown I have gone back and forth between ten-one and ten-six. I have got into a really bad habit of weighing myself daily instead of my usual weekly, hence such big fluctuations. Today, ten stone four, yesterday ten stone six.

@Emeeno1

Your post is an example of where many of us seem to be with food and exercise these days.

Some would hold you up as an example of health but in reality you are 'obsessively tracking calories' and food has become the enemy and exercise the penance.

It would help if we could all start being honest.

This is so true - don’t get me wrong I do allow myself to have what I want when I go out for dinner etc but since I’ve weighed myself (wish I hadn’t!) and seen that I have put on weight I am finding I can enjoy it less as I just think about how many calories they are when I’m already heavier than I want to be

My clothes (8 on top, 10 on bottom) fit as they always have I think so I am not sure why I’ve got so obsessed with this.

@ragged

yes you have a warped view, and excess concern. Why do you think that is?

I did wonder if it’s lack of control over everything with the Covid stuff that I’m finding ways to control myself

@Judystilldreamsofhorses

I'm the same height, but mid-40s. My fighting weight is about ten stone three, so MUCH heavier than you! During lockdown I have gone back and forth between ten-one and ten-six. I have got into a really bad habit of weighing myself daily instead of my usual weekly, hence such big fluctuations. Today, ten stone four, yesterday ten stone six.

Yes I am weighing daily too which I know is not good!!!

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude

I think your relationship with your weight is not healthy. How do you feel physically? Why do you want to be thinner? What does it mean to you?

I don’t know, I just feel if I was thinner I would feel better about myself and less worried about eating nice foods as I would have more to ‘play with’ - I think because my weight has crept up a bit I am terrified that this is ‘it’ now and I’m just going to keep getting fatter.

I did try 5:2 diet for a week or so and lost a few lbs but I ended up feeling really faint and unwell and I then read it’s not recommended for a BMI 20 or under - not sure if that’s correct.

@Trisolaris

I think when your bmi gets to that sort of number your body starts clinging to each additional pound and it takes a lot longer to shift. I’ve been stuck at 60kg for about a month and have been tracking cals every day and have only in the last couple days got down to 59.5! It’s a slow process but I think the crucial thing to stop it being unhealthy is making sure you have a number in mind that you want to get to that you will stop losing weight at so you don’t drop to an unhealthy weight And making sure you always have at least 1200 cals a day. (Obviously intermittent fasting etc is different but essentially don’t let yourself develop unhealthy eating habits, skipping meals etc)

This is interesting! Thank you!

Your weight does not equal your worth. Everyone around you values you just as much now as previously when you were a bit lighter.

@ChazsBrilliantAttitude

Your weight does not equal your worth. Everyone around you values you just as much now as previously when you were a bit lighter.

It’s ridiculous I know but I would be terrified to be any heavier than this and I don’t really know why!

OP I can fully relate and I could of wrote this myself. I’m pretty much the same weigh/height as you too. Over lock down I’ve gained 5lbs and it is purely down to me eating more and not moving enough!

I’ve also got in the bad habit of weighing myself each morning, and calorie tracking. I’m also fasting now to shift the extra pounds but I’m just stuck where I am even though I’m eating healthy and now exercising. Family and friends cannot notice weight gain and my clothes all still fit somehow but I feel absolutely awful at this weight. It’s also the most I’ve ever weighed other than pregnancy so even though it’s only 5lb I do feel very over weight as I’m not used to it.

I haven’t any suggestions as I’m struggling with the same thing myself but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone

Are you quite afraid of covid itself or upset by lockdown itself, OP?

@doingitforthefrill

OP I can fully relate and I could of wrote this myself. I’m pretty much the same weigh/height as you too. Over lock down I’ve gained 5lbs and it is purely down to me eating more and not moving enough!

I’ve also got in the bad habit of weighing myself each morning, and calorie tracking. I’m also fasting now to shift the extra pounds but I’m just stuck where I am even though I’m eating healthy and now exercising. Family and friends cannot notice weight gain and my clothes all still fit somehow but I feel absolutely awful at this weight. It’s also the most I’ve ever weighed other than pregnancy so even though it’s only 5lb I do feel very over weight as I’m not used to it.

I haven’t any suggestions as I’m struggling with the same thing myself but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone

@doingitforthefrill this is spooky - sounds the exact same and sorry to hear you feel like this too!

I am aware that our bodies change as we get older and this may be my ‘natural’ maintainable weight now but I miss being that little bit lighter/slimmer but without going on a crash diet (which I’ve never done and don’t want to!) I don’t know what more I can do.

It’s a vicious cycle as I think ‘oh I give up!!!’ as i’ve lost no weight and end up eating really badly for a day and then feel horribly guilty about it.

@lljkk

Are you quite afraid of covid itself or upset by lockdown itself, OP?

Covid not particularly although I was at the beginning - I would say lockdown and the working from home/lack of social contact during the day when I used to have a busy commute and office life has really impacted me and at points my mental health has been bad. My weight makes me feel worse!!!

If you can tackle the upsetting upsets of lockdown then it's possible the weight worries will sort themselves. Easier said than done, but not impossible. Weight could just be a comfortable distraction from the bigger problem you don't know how to fix. Try anything at all, however small, to make lockdown/current weirdness/"new normal" seem even a tiny bit more bearable.
Sometimes just little efforts can reduce a big problem, so it's worth trying even the very littlest things. Try the easiest things first. Good luck.