Anybody resigned from a job they love? I need advice!

[HeIsAVeryBadBoy]

Hi all,

at the end of the week I'll be resigning from a job and team that I love. It's a small company and I am responsible for a lot of our income so I know it's going to be a blow, both emotionally and financially. We are really close knit too.

I know this sounds 'wow I'm great', but it's just how the situation is and I think we'll all be really upset :(

I'm leaving because the company is constantly just skirting past disaster and I've spent too many nights worried about being able to pay my mortgage etc. So it's necessary for my own survival. But other than that, it feels like my home away from home and my team, and my boss, are my friends. So it's really personal.

I just don't know how to do it without seeming ungrateful/selfish etc. I feel a lot like I'm bailing on them.

How do I do this Mumsnet!? Be gentle with me, I feel completely shit about doing this to them. But Job B is a great opportunity and I can't relinquish it, especially for a company that I'm never confident will survive the next month.

Eurgh. Roll on the weekend!

anybody?

All of the advice online is about how to resign from a job you hate with dignity

Kind of the opposite to my issue. Maybe it's a rare issue.

What are you moving to?

Would think of a positive reason to tell people at your current organisation, and don’t be drawn into expanding on it or justifying your decision, use ‘broken record technique’.

Would work through your feelings about it outside work, not with your current colleagues, and minimise any emotive discussion at work.

Would also adjust your ‘boundaries’ at work.

Yeah I did. I just said that I had to think about my financial future even though I loved the team and the role.
Anyway the entire team bar the manager got canned through Covid so I wasn’t wrong.

Just tell them you need to leave to focus on your family.

If they are your friends they'll understand and be happy for you. They will survive without you because ultimately no one is irreplaceable.
Just put your resignation in writing, say you are sorry but it's too good an opportunity to miss.
Don't blow it up out of proportion let them do it if they must.

This may not be helpful but in July I resigned from a job I love because of how appallingly the leadership behaved during lockdown when only a few of us were on site. The nature of the job was such that people could be have been harmed if the job wasn’t done correctly. I couldn’t live with that pressure.

So it’s slightly different in that I changed my view of the leadership and they went down significantly in my estimation. So the “love” had gone, if you like.

I just wrote a formal resignation letter with dates - about three sentences, if that.

I have recently left a comfortable job. Well paid. Well looked after great people

Its just my time to leave
But i am leaving at the busiest time for our industry which has actually been madr busier by covid.

I have said "changes in my personal circumstances have given me an opportunity to move on to a new challenge" and this that dc has started school I have secure childcare and can move further afield for work other than a handy commute and it opens up more opportunities to earn more money and develop in a new bigger organisation

Agree with PP dont give too many details. I have also said "its just my time to move on after x years here."

You just have to do it. Smile, say you're going to miss working there however there's a new opportunity you've been offered that you can't let pass you by. Do it in a face to face meeting or phone meeting if you can and then send a confirmation e mail clarifying last day, annual leave etc when you've already discussed it all. Wish them well and promise to stay in touch (if you will!). I wouldn't go into too much detail about how the insecurity of the way it's run makes you feel or they'll just get defensive and think it's your problem or try and change your mind. Try and keep to the positives to leave on a good note that you've been lucky to enjoy your job and get on with everyone so well and it's nervewracking but exciting that you're moving on to a new role in a new company. It's business, you're not dumping friends, everyone should get you need to make career decisions based on what works best for you. Best of luck.

Do you have another job lined up? Say you came across an opportunity that was too good to turn down

Or if you don't, say Covid has made you realise you want to focus on your family

I think the above advise about being positive in your delivery is good. "I've been offered a wonderful new job opportunity, I will miss you all but can't pass it up"
Also work through any issues of guilt with people completely unconnected with the workplace.
You shouldn't give your current colleagues the idea that you believe the business will go under without you and that your still choosing to leave.
They may not realise how precarious their situation is and think you believe yourself better than them, or they may know well and think your putting them out of a job.
Either way the reaction won't be good.
Also I hate to say this but be prepared for your lovely atmosphere and good relationships to go sour. People can get vicious when their interests are threatened.
You are doing the right thing, realistically if you needed long term financial support would your colleagues provide it? No?
So you shouldn't expect yourself to do for them what they wouldn't do for you.

Do you have another job to go to?

TBH if the company has been struggling they may be grateful of your resignation as it’s one less person on the payroll and no need for redundancy faff / costs.

There's some great advice on here, thanks everyone.

To respond to some specific points, yes, I have a new job to go to. It pays a lot more and looks to be a stable company so it's too good of an opportunity to miss.

TBH if the company has been struggling they may be grateful of your resignation as it’s one less person on the payroll and no need for redundancy faff / costs.

I've been framing it this way in mind actually, trying to find a positive from their perspective. It's a good thing to remember, thank you.

They may not realise how precarious their situation is and think you believe yourself better than them, or they may know well and think your putting them out of a job.

I think it would be the latter, eventually. And that's not me being better than them at the job. We have different jobs and skill sets, and mine happens to be the one that has attracted the clients that pay most of the company overheads. My colleagues are all really intelligent and talented but their backgrounds aren't in what I do. Happily though, there should be a lot of job seekers out there as similar companies have been dropping like flies since the pandemic started.

But that's one of the things that makes this difficult. I know that there will be a sizeable and immediate impact on revenue.

Also I hate to say this but be prepared for your lovely atmosphere and good relationships to go sour. People can get vicious when their interests are threatened.

Yup, this is what I'm not looking forward to :(

I always had good working boundaries in the past, but I moved to this job after leaving a disastrous relationship/the area that I lived in, and the team went above and beyond to make sure I was happy and safe. I'll never forget that. And equally, the company has been through rough times and we've all pulled together and I've gone above and beyond for them. So that's why it's tricky emotionally for me.

In the past, I really gave no fucks about leaving anywhere!

I did. The company I worked for was re-locating to bigger premises which added an extra half an hour each way on my commute which was already a 2 hour round trip. The extra childcare and petrol costs meant that I would be worse off financially. I loved it but, as a single parent, I couldn't afford to take the hit as on paper my earnings pushed me above any claim to "in work" benefits.