We are 'let the mess build up and once or twice a week tackle the space' - I do it more often than DH, but he is much more thorough when he does actually do it. In normal times we have a cleaner, though not since lockdown, may ask back soon. I would say we are pretty untidy by most standards, but not disgusting - there's never days-old unwashed plates lying around etc, but lots of clutter. Partly because DH hates his stuff being 'hidden' (eg moved a few inches from where it was to somewhere a bit more out of the way).
MIL is a 'never let any mess or dirt build up at all' and has conniptions if a drop spills on the table cloth and a sharp intake of breath and the dustpan and brush out straight away if so much as a crumb gets on the floor during dinner.
This unfortunately means she turns up to our house when I have spent hours cleaning to the best of my ability because people are coming over, and then makes passive-aggressive comments like 'Have you hoovered?' (yes, I have but I may have missed some tiny spots) and 'Does your cleaner still come?' (Every. Fucking. Time. She did that. I eventually told her she can stop asking, and she can assume the cleaner is still coming thanks very much). The other day she turned up and made a comment about how untidy the house was when a) we hadn't finished and b) I'd already spent about 2 hours cleaning, including wiping down all the many kitchen cupboard doors. DH told her quite clearly after that to not make those comments!
I do try my best but I can never find the time and energy to make everything spotless - there will always be a few crumbs on the worktop or a few smears I can't seem to wipe off and I just can't manage to make things flawlessly clean. I do 2-3 lots of washing up per day, even though we have a dishwasher.
I do get the kids involved (9 and 12), but they often do such a rubbish job it has to be done all over again. They obviously take after their mother....