Why do I overstretch myself?

[TroysMammy]

This is not a boast but I'm knackered because I've caused it.

Last night I prepared apples and cranberries to make jelly preserves today.

However so far I've made passata because I saw the tomatoes in the greenhouse needed using up. Then whilst the kettle was boiling so I could skin the tomatoes I decided to make a jelly for dessert tonight.

I then spotted some fruit flies and saw there were 2 very ripe bananas in the fruit bowl so I've made mini banana and sultana loaves to use them up.

I went upstairs to go to the toilet and had an idea for artwork in my dolls house beach hut which I fiddled about with for 15 minutes.

I emptied frozen passata out of their plastic boxes into a freezer bag and washed the plastic boxes for today's passata.

I've washed dishes twice ready for the next exercise.

I've peeled 4 large mushrooms in readiness for tonight's dinner and no doubt in 1/2 hour I'll be preparing the rest of the vegetables.

I still have the apple and cranberry jelly to make and jars to sterilise and obviously more dishes to wash.

I can't stop spotting things to do which I do find pleasurable but not all at the same time (I wouldn't have as much enthusiasm to juggle ironing, hoovering and cleaning the bathroom).

Is there anyone else who can relate?

You need a bullet journal. Or maybe just tell yourself one job at a time.

I do this too, it's knackering but I just don't know when to stop- what's a bullet journal?

Why would you peel a mushroom? Just wipe with a bit of kitchen towel if needed surely???

@Perching

Why would you peel a mushroom? Just wipe with a bit of kitchen towel if needed surely???

Always peel my mushrooms and I love peeling them, very satisfying!

Are you anxious and maybe it’s as a result of that?

You are just incredibly creative. Tiring but sounds delicious. You can't stop yourself having all this wonderful ideas. Maybe just do a few less and hopefully that's enough not to make you so tired.

I only peel white mushrooms and also find it satisfying. I don't buy kitchen roll.

I'm not an anxious person but my mind is always thinking ahead. In work, I'm part time, it appears I'm the only one who passes messages and best practices on to colleagues who work opposite me or work every day. I come into work and except the one who works opposite me no one else shares information but that's another thread about my frustrations.

I think I can do it but now in my 50's it knackers me out. A week ago I made 11 jars of blackberry jelly and squeezed as much cooking wise into one afternoon which included paneer and tomato curry and mini frittatas just because I had the oven on. They weren't even necessary.

I'm now off to make the jelly but my mind is already thinking of the next thing and the next.

I get this a bit (but not with cooking/baking!)
I'm always thinking of the next thing I could be doing, and creating little 'to-do' lists in my head, and I feel a bit like I'm being really organised but actually I'm just tiring myself out.
A few people mentioned mindfulness to me, and ironically it's now on my 'to do' list to try to build into my day.

I'm a bit like this on a good day - I don't stop and will do one thing after another and feel busy and accomplished.

But on a bad day I struggle to get motivated for anything and I find things overwhelming and I don't know where to start with what I need to do.

I see it as my brain's way of keeping me busy and motivated. The bad days suck.

I'm the complete opposite. A total procrastinator. It would be nice to be somewhere in the middle.

I want a dolls house beach hut. Where did you get it from?

craggymaggie Dolls House Emporium.

This doesn’t sound like ‘overstretching’ to me, it just sounds like kitchen pottering.

@SaintofBats

This doesn’t sound like ‘overstretching’ to me, it just sounds like kitchen pottering.

That’s a nice and supportive comment there

It wasn’t intended to be unsupportive! The OP describes what sounds like a perfectly pleasant set of produce-related and cooking tasks that don’t sound onerous In themselves and don’t seem to have had to be completely under time pressures — I mean, obviously if the OP feels ‘overstretched’, that’s what she feels, but maybe the issue is with the label?

I can be like this when my anxiety is in one drive. I may not feel anxious but my actions say otherwise.

If you're finding it a problem you could try mindfulness to live in the moment a bit more. I use the Headspace app which I like, but there's loads out there for cheaper / free.

Op. That sounds like me, even the work thing. When I work in teams, I never can just do something without thinking about how it can be done consistently by everyone or about how to share something useful I've found out. It is a bit exhausting.

I am exactly like you describe around the house too,. I end up not enjoying what I am doing because my mind is to preoccupied with what I haven't done yet .

Do you have other things you should be doing like ironing or hoovering that you find much less satisfying than cooking?

It's just I do similar but for me it's getting organised. So I have actual work I need to do but it's boring in comparison to other activities I could be doing. The other activities are also useful ( like all your cooking ) and it's not like I'm just wasting time in front of the telly but I know I'm focusing on the wrong tasks. I know my prioritising is rubbish. Basically I find stuff I want to do to avoid the crap I don't.

Does that sound familiar?

Do you have an idea od how you would like to do things differently? Or are you actually okay with being like this (at least for now) and just worried about not being okay with it in the future?

My sisters are like you.

Lots of jam making, sewing and restoring furniture, painting and gardening. One sent me a photo of a lampshade she made, this is pre lockdown and it was very good.

I think on some level they do like it but my theory on their sort of slavery to domesticity is we had a Mother who was the least domesticated and not remotely a home maker in any sense of the word. Plus she only ever pleased herself.

They give lots of their jams to people and who also wouldn’t like getting home made ginger biscuits in a homemade box. Well it’s very nice obviously and incredibly thoughtful but they don’t do things just for themselves.

I think all you need to really work out is if what you are doing gives you genuine pleasure. I’m a bit suspicious of my sisters drive for the domestic. I’m in the same age range as you, sadly some of my beloved pursuits are not a good idea now. Climbing trees springs to mind, I was just about 42 the last time I climbed one.

When it comes to team work I was very good at working out the most efficient way of doing things, really huge time savers. I remember working out how to mail merge email, this is donkeys years ago and no one else knew how to do it in my dept. My efficiency is driven by laziness so I can actually do what I want with spare time saved by being efficient.

It's Called "being in flow" and is most people's happiest place to be. It's the best way to relax, to process, to improve skills etc. We aren't meant to relax by staring blank faced at a tv screen or by drinking alcohol, etc. We are meant to be in low level activity. Gardening, cooking, cleaning, crafting, etc. Not strenuously or with rigid time limits, just at a leisurely pace making small self motivated achievements. It's hard to stop this flow because it's the state we are most content in. In company, or on our own, we are meant to be active in some way. Or asleep.

I love doing what I do but wish I didn't juggle lots of things. I love lists, perhaps I should do a timetable of one thing at a time not have all my balls in the air. They do get done but I need a lie down afterwards, perhaps I need to be a bit more methodical. I think some of it stems when I was married to a waster and money was tight. I'd never have the oven on for one thing, I'd have for example a chicken, quiche and cake in there with 3 timers going so as not to waste electricity.

JadesRollerDisco I think you are right, I like "being in flow". I hardly watch tv and don't drink alcohol and I do love gardening esp vegetables, cooking and crafting and it helps that I only work 2 1/2 days and don't have children so down time is my time. I have spurts of cleaning and I hardly iron clothes.

I think on Monday I just felt exhausted and a bit overwhelmed because my original plan kept deviating. (I made 4 small jars of apple and cranberry jelly in the end ).

I think sometimes it's just misjudging it a bit, wanting to potter but letting yourself get a bit over excited and adding some extras in! I get it, I'm the same. It's what I'm looking forward to doing most when my kids leave home