Any medics about?

[ChangedNameToday]

I’m trying to understand my relative’s prognosis, while being deliberately vague to protect their privacy.

They are mid 60s and not in good general health, having had a number of serious conditions since his forties.

Recently suffered a variety of issues, included heart issues, blood clots and strokes.

A heart function test showed very poor EF percentage (think single digits) and we were told he had six to twelve months to live (told this about two and a half months ago).

He’s now got an acute kidney infection, is being sick etc, very confused. Sleeping a lot.

I’m worried this could be a sign of AKI and that decline may be very quick now.

Can anyone offer any advice/guidance on life expectancy or what we might expect from now on?

Might they rally?

Not a medic, but I've been in your position with a family member declining rapidly. In my case it was my nan. Sudden inset dementia, and then aggressive cancer.

Hope you get some advice, and some peace of mind of some sort

Wouldn't you be better asking the people who are caring for him and not strangers on the internet who have vague information to go on.

Oh, sorry. I should have explained myself better. I’m not looking for medical advice - we have that. Almost too much information to take in.

I was hoping for stories from people who have trod a similar path, who might explain how it went from this stage on.

And I know I asked for medics and am contradicting myself - it’s a bit much at the moment.

I understand I hope you can get some people sharing their experiences.

Ok, so from the point of view of being told not mich time, I've got 3 experiences.

With my DH's GF we were told 6 months. He lived for a year, and it was like he wasn't unwell for most of that. He became slower, and in the last few weeks he was worse but we didn't see him, as we were 200 miles away. He stopped eating in the end.

With my nan, as mentioned above, she got the dementia diagnosis, and they said it could be months, could be years. Then they found the cancer and were told 6-9 months. In the end it was 5 months. The dementia ramped up quickly, she stopped eating, drinking, wanting to look after herself. She had palliative care, I think it was. They couldn't force her to do anything. She slept a lot. It hen became weeks to live, then days. In the end, the care home phoned my dad and told him it was now or never to say goodbye. She died a few hours later surrounded by most of the siblings and my DSM. DF said she didn't look like her at all once she had passed.

And the last one is my great uncle. He suffered from problems to do with asbestos as he worked with it for years. He got told 6 months, then another visit they were told it was more like 3. He died 3 days later.

So it could be anything. Take every day as though it's the last one because they can regress quickly or it can be longer. At this point for us, every day they were alive was a bonus.

It's tough, it can feel like nothing is working, or helping, and that sometimes it's better they were already dead when they're in pain. I think all you can do is spend time with them, and let them know you love them. And be prepared to find that they no longer look like themselves. That was the hardest bit for my aunt. The fact she no longer looked like her mum

Thank you.

Covid is, of course, complicating everything including visiting.

I’m trying to get an idea of when we fight to get more of us in to see him, as for now visiting is extremely limited.