Nursery place - I don’t know what to do! What would you do?

[Legohead6]

Dc(3) has been offered a place at nursery in a new area that we had been planning to move to but, because of lockdown, haven’t yet and have started to consider other areas further away.

This nursery is about 30-40 mins from where we currently are, but right next to where we are considering living. And it’s an absolute dream of a nursery.

Another problem is that nursery place is 4 days a week, and I just had my work slashed almost completely. So I’d struggle to be able to afford it in the short term.

Places in this nursery (or any in the area) pretty much never come up unless you’ve been on the waiting list a long time (DC has for two years - that’s how long we’ve been planning to move!). When my work picks up again, 4 days is what I’ll need.

But what if my work doesn’t pick up again? And - before we move - the commute will be such a hassle.

I don’t know what to do. If I turn the place down, I won’t get another and I may need it later. But if I take it, I don’t know for how long I will be without consistent work for. Ahh!

What would you do?

I would phone them and ask for two days.

I spoke to them about less days last week when they offered the space, but they said this is a 4 day space and that I’d have to go back on the list for less days. There might be someone else requesting 2 days and could fit us both in I suppose?! But they didn’t suggest that.

Realistically how close are you to moving to that area? 40 minutes is a really long way for a nursery! Would you be able to get there if DC is ill etc?

What would be worse:

Asking to go back on the list for 2 days and finding a childminder for the other days if you end up moving?

Taking the place and committing to the drive and the cost for the forseeable?

At first the move was delayed because of Covid (planning to rent) and now the move is being put off a little longer because of my work. Originally we wanted to be there for this summer. (Our move is all dependent on money at this point )

One thing I like about the nursery is that’ll give us an idea of whether or not this area is right as Covid has put moving further afield into our mind!

It’s all very confusing right now!

Leaning towards going back on the list for 2 days and hoping...

I would definitely say no and go back on the list. You don't live there and you don't want four days.

It's a nursery!

What I mean is, it's a nursery not primary school or more importantly, high school. So forget about it, put him in your local nursery and be pleased you haven't got a 40 min commute each way.

We also have to move before January to apply for local primary schools, so there’s that added tricky element!

Just so your aware check you local rules for school places, in my area which nursery your child is in has absolutely no bearing on final school places (ECHP excepted!!) School places are allocated on a straight line distance to the school, with the only priority's to those children in care, followed by sibling priority, ( unless a church school, then religion plays a part). Could you choose a nursery mid way between so that the worst you have is a 20 minute commute, whichever area you live??

The nursery isn’t attached to a school, so we weren’t thinking that. The new area was chosen because the schools are so good there (and the plan was to rent in the catchment of one of the schools we like).

Ohhh it’s so hard. I don’t want to give up the place, but I also don’t want to take the place as it’s too many days and too much money in this uncertain time.

I think I’ll explain and ask to go back on the list and hope something changes. I feel embarrassed about messing them around - I’d been emailing them all keen until now! They’re going to think I’m really annoying

Ask for less days. I run a childcare setting and it happens all the time. Given the current situation there is a very good chance that they would rather have you for two days than none.

They wont think you are annoying! Everyone who does this says to me "you must think i'm really annoying. Its genuinely not a big deal. Its worse when someone wants 4 days and you can only offer 2 I hate that!

How far off are you from getting 15 or 30 hours funded? Plus tax free child care if you’re eligible? If your heart is set on it (notwithstanding the 40 minute drive which sounds v difficult logistically) might the funded hours solved the problem of 4 days being unaffordable?

It's best to explain, they'll appreciate you being honest rather than taking the space and in a month or so time having to pull out because your circumstances have changed. It happens all the time but for you at the moment it sounds like it would be a big commitment, all the travel and financially. I must say even with only a 20minute travel to school, I was SO pleased when the commute finally came to an end! (The youngest goes to a different closer school and it's a 10 min walk, instead of a car journey)

Personally I'd use it as an incentive to move house asap - stop stalling if you know you want to live there! I know the feeling of precious private nursery places and long waiting lists op and you'll kick yourself if work picks up and you don't have childcare and you effectively turned down the place

We’re currently eligible for 15 hours with my partners’ income - which makes 2 days doable. Four days is still pretty hard (but was considering it as a risk!) without my salary.

We are definitely stalling and have been for a while. I’m not good with change - even though I want it - and tend to overthink absolutely everything!

In that case you need to work on your mindset ASAP. Your child deserves the best school place you can get them. If that means moving then get on with it. For your child's sake.

I understand being resistant to change but try to think of how you would feel if you procrastinated too long and missed the primary admissions deadline. When you say rent in the preferred catchment area - would you be looking to buy at a later date? The admissions criteria can be quite strict around this to prevent fraud.

I'm in the exact same position. Have to really make my mind up today.

Leaning towards making a leap of faith and scrimping to make it happen.

I should say this is a school though, so it's slightly different as probably less flexible. Being on the waiting list a little longer won't hurt as you're not ready to move

Your child starts school next year- doesn’t have years at nursery to go. I’d let the place go, go back on the list and if find another nursery (doesn’t have to be the best of the best)

I think it depends how quickly your work is likely to pick up. Is it going to be coming back by the end of this year or is it facing a bigger struggle because of the economic situation?

If this is just a temporary cash flow blip then you shouldn’t let it derail your longer term plans. But if it’s a more structural problem with your work in future then you need to rethink more fundamentally.

What are the schools like where you live atm? January isn't that far away and if the worst happens the country/your area could go back into lockdown and moving might be stopped again.