Do you still mourn pregnancy losses from previous relationships?

[SlipperySnail]

I have a toddler dd with my OH.

A few years ago I was engaged and a few months away from marrying my ex when I lost a pregnancy at almost 10 weeks. Ex wasn’t very nice to me and had been physical on a few occasions but mostly was just a drunk and drug addict who love bombed me into our relationship when I was pretty young (23 to his 40). After I lost the baby I was devastated. I had a very poor childhood growing up without my mum around and raised by an alcoholic dad who wasn’t there 80% of the time so I really craved a family of my own.

A few months after the miscarriage I’d been self harming and attempted suicide I was so broken. I also became obsessed with getting pregnant again, buying 7 tests a week etc (expensive!) it was such a horrible time in my life.

Anyway, ended up catching ex cheating and called the wedding off and walked away. Met my other half and obviously have my dd now.

Is it weird to still feel heartbroken over that pregnancy loss? It’s something I can’t talk about because my OH doesn’t understand/has made quite a few cruel comments regarding it and so I don’t feel like it’s something I can mention ever. H im sure he would think I still had feelings for my ex if I mentioned it. Not sure how weird it is. Does any one else feel the same? I’ve recently been dreaming about it and it’s made me feel so so sad.

Sorry for the long post.

I still mourn a baby from over 30 years ago.

Not crying in a daily basis or anything. But that was my baby and I’ll never forget her. I don’t want to.

Her father was a total prick though. Glad I wasn’t tied to him!

Yeah I feel the same, relief in a way because holy shit he would have been a terrible father! Just makes me feel so sad

Yes, I still mourn my 2 pregnancy losses and wonder what they would have like as people, boy or girl etc. despite having 3 healthy teenage DCs. Lost babies would have been 17 and 11 now.

I often think about the baby I lost over 30 years ago. I did go on to have another child with that same father. Oh dear is about all I can say. He was useless, no worse than useless, he was a shit stirring idiot who did not even know anything about babies. He did not last a year in the role. He was a hindrance so I dumped him. I got on with life on my own and probably managed so much the better for that.
I still wonder how things would have turned out if the lost baby had survived

I'm going to sound quite cold but know I've not given it a thought in decades.
I have my husband and two adult sons and I am content. I don't look back. When I discussed it with a friend a few years ago it was if it happened to a different person and I couldn't relate it to me.