I am going on holiday my own house. Help me make the experience feel authentic!

[Apolloanddaphne]

My DD and her DP arrive today for a two week break and DH is now off too. We are staying at home and I want it to feel like we are away on holiday. We live in a tourist area and in the summer I avoid everything as it is too busy. I am going to embrace the busy and visit all the tourist spots. But then after a day out I will be coming back home. Help me make it feel like I am coming to a holiday home and not staying in my own house. All suggestions welcome!

Have a Cocktail Of The Day. 🍸 🍹 🍸 🍹 🍸

Get dressed up, (or wear a sarong ) for dinner.

Champagne (or Bucks Fizz) with breakfast.

Watch old films in the evening, with popcorn & ices available.

Have drinks & nibbles aperitif each evening.

Have a supply of magazines handy.

Go swimming, read up about local beauty spots/local history, get your nails done, buy local delicacies/specialities to have after the holiday, send postcards or photos to Granny.

Bon Voyage!

Don’t forget to feed a random stray cat that visits you every morning and evening that you name Pedro or Yiannis and they can be your holiday cat. Maybe you can call it Stan or Bert.

Disconnect your satellite/cable TV and dislodge the aerial so all you're left with is a dodgy reception of random channels

Lower the water pressure on your shower till it's practically non-existent and sprinkle some sand into your shower tray.

Lock away all your toiletries and use only mini travel versions.

Ask your neighbours to go out every night and come back singing noisily at 2 am.

I am loving these! It's a great idea. Sadly, we're missing our holiday this year due to Covid-19. Its sounds a lot if work for the full 'experience ' but I might take a couple of ideas.

BBQ breakfast, the smell of bacon cooking outdoors in the morning always puts me in the holiday mood. Memories of camping holidays where you could smell all the other tents eminating the 200 breakfasts being cooked at once.

Loads of great ideas. I am very much looking forward to my holiday now. Today's cocktails will be Aperol Spritz. I will try to ignore the fact that it is damp and drizzly outside. Maybe I should crank the heating up so we are all too hot? I don't think DD who is currently driving from London to the east coast of Scotland looking for some respite from the heat would be very amused though.

East coast of Scotland? You'll be able to go out for a High Tea, how fab!

Lock one door on the landing and spend the rest of your stay wondering whats behind it.

I'm laughing at @user1494055864. All of that is so spot on. We worked out the entrance code to the - empty - apartment next door once and had a good mooch round. Even better than the obligatory locked cupboard/room door.

Don't worry about keeping on top of the washing as you can do it when you get home.
Plenty of lemons or limes and mint at the ready for gorgeous boozy drinks.
Hide all clocks.
Make sure you have a comfy chair or lounger and some good books.
Ask the neighbours to shag noisily at frequent intervals through the night.

Get up at 6am and put towels on your garden chairs.
Later go in the garden and complain about people reserving the chairs and put the towels on the floor.
DO 60 laps of the paddling swimming pool.
Shout loudly and slowly to each other.
Wear socks with your sandals.

Oh, hang on, you aren't going abroad.

Go to your nearest service station/large supermarket/library (if it’s open)/tourist info and pick up lots of leaflets of places to go nearby. Preferably with 1986 prices.

We actually had a holiday home that we rented out and it had a locked door on the landing. It was full of boring clean towels and cleaning stuff. If any tall person had looked on top of the bookcase in the kitchen they would have found the key!

I suppose the question is do you want it to feel like a 4 start hotel or Pontins.

Pontins:
Remove all picture except one and stick that one upside down.
Cover the mattresses in plastic before putting (cheap) sheets on.
Cake the pans in dirt and drop crumbs over the floor.
Turn on your radio onto a channel you don't like, and set it to come on at 9am and go off at 1am.
Lock half the rooms so some of you have to sleep on the sofa.
Remove the sofa cushions as well.

Hotel:
You only need one room for this, but choose your largest one. Put a hot tub in the garden.
Remove all personal items and paint the walls magnolia, with one large picture of either modern art or a very large maroon flour.
Stock the bar with alcohol. Every time you open the bar, you need to flush £10 down the toilet.
Buy new pillows that are about twice the height you want.
Make sure you have someone on call for room service.

Enjoy your holiday.

Just reading what others class as a holiday makes me want to stay at home OP
We had a really nice couple of weeks at home recently. Treated us to lots of nice food we wouldn't normally have, cheese board, posh crisps, croissants that sort of think. Ate off paper plates some days so we didn't have to wash up!