What does a funeral look like if someone has no money?

[Florencenotflo]

Dh's best friend died a few days ago. He has no family, no children, just friends. We are closest to him so we're being asked about his funeral.

He has nothing, he lived in accommodation provided through his job, and had about £150 in cash to his name. I know this because we've been paying his bills and food throughout lockdown because he wasn't able to work (shielding).

So if he has no money, what happens about his funeral? We can possibly put about £1k towards it, but that will wipe us out, we'd have to get a loan for more money. We want him to have a half decent send off, ironically he used to say that when the time came we should just chuck him off the side of a boat etc. So he wouldn't have wanted anything flash.

But if we can only afford £1k, what will be provided by the local authority? I've tried google but not much luck so far.

If there are lots of people asking can't you have a whip round?

I saw a documentary recently about "pauper's" funerals and they all seemed to be done very respectfully with people who knew the deceased still able to attend. Contact his local council.

We had one where the deceased was a homeless alcoholic who had caused no end of trouble over the years for the church, to the pinpoint of getting injunctions against him. . The priest argued with the council that he would have wanted a full requiem mass and he got the full works with choir and flowers etc. People said it was the best funeral they'd ever been too!

If you're in the Manchester area a friend of mine is a Celebrant. Any good? PM me if you'd like her details.
Here in Birmingham I've attended 2 Council funded cremations. They're usually the first of the day, both were for people who had no family and no money. Very respectfully done.

Sorry for your loss
💐

So the ex wife who didn’t divorce him is therefore the current wife?

You may have to involve her to see if the circumstances qualify for whatever grants are available.

She may have to put down her earnings or whatever in a form as she’s still married to him.

Don’t volunteer to be responsible for paying for stuff on the understanding she’ll reimburse you when the grant comes through as she might not get it or indeed give you it! Put your own names to nothing. She should put hers.

I don’t imagine he’d want you spending your savings on a funeral. He sounds like a good guy. If he wanted a funeral he’s have taken out a policy years ago. So he probably isn’t bothered about that.

Better to spend any money you have on a memorial service for him later once we are all allowed to get together again. I’m sure he’d appreciate that.
And you can all chat about the many things he told you over the years and have a good time. Far better for a fun loving interesting guy than a depressing bland funeral.

I funeral celebrant and sometimes conduct public health funerals as they are known where I am. From my point of view I do the same work, talk to friends and prepare a full ceremony and eulogy. There will usually be less choice of time and place but no reason to think it won't still be a fitting goodbye to your friend.

My dad had a direct cremation with noone there (my mum's choice) We then hired the local village hall and had what was effectively a funeral just with no coffin. We had speaches, music and a light lunch and drinks for around 70 people. This was just the way we wanted to do things, but it was very cheap indeed. If you allowed the state to pay for the funeral and put your £1000 towards some sort of remembrance service I think you could give him a nice send off.

@granadagirl not on benefits, no.

@FinnyStory we could yes. I know that a lot of them though are in a similar trade to our friend and aren't rolling in it at the moment or are retirement age so again, no able to give much. But I know they would give what they could.

@Elieza yes they are still legally married. She's been distant (from us all) for a while. She's not well enough to do the physical organising and the sorting out of his stuff etc. I don't think we'd qualify for any grants but I will definitely look into it. If it's based on their income/savings we might get something as neither he or his (Ex) wife have anything.

Just keep in mind at the moment OP that services etc aren't what they would be usually with Covid and social distancing. My Dsis passed away last week. We are only allowed a small service at the crematorium and can't have anymore than immediate family at any kind of wake. It's not the send off we wanted for her, but I think she would have liked it just being family really.

Not being unkind, it's lovely that your DH wants to arrange this for his friend. But with such limited savings you really aren't in a position to be funding someone else's funeral. You may need this money for yourselves & your family. Especially in these uncertain times.

Council will provide something - it will be adequate. And you can celebrate friend's life afterwards in a way that doesn't use up your savings. You don't need to take on the financial burden, it isn't necessary.

Could you contact council to sort out funeral but you write a lovely eulogy for him and possibly plant a memorial tree. A friend of mine planted the corner of her garden to wildflowers when her grandad died and now she sits in the corner and drinks coffee and remembers him.

My mum's funeral was just me, a cremation, no service, very simple, it was £1895.
A direct cremation with no service or attendees would have been £995.

If you can figure out which crematorium they’ll use, you could ask them if they will give you the ashes after a direct cremation. Most will.