Does anyone else feel like their kids will need a digital detox after the hols (has anyone actually successfully done this)?

[ladyandthechocolate]

I’m sure I’m not the only one in this situation!

Over lockdown and the holidays by DC are having waaaay too much screen time. The boys are gaming on the PS4 and Switch and I totally get they chat to their friends so that is one (small) benefit. DD is mainly on YouTube and just lounges endlessly watching videos looking practically catatonic.
The issue is when we kick them off they seem to not be able to function as normal children! They have completely lost the capacity to entertain themselves and don’t want to do anything. If you say, right you can go back on at 5pm for example, they kick around watching the clock until 5pm. It seems however much or little time they have it’s never enough and one of my DSs for example will obsess over how to get more time, can he do chores to get more time and is on my case all the time. It does not seem healthy and I think it’s affecting their attention span.
I feel guilty tbh but I’m wfh and there’s a limit to my time and energy to entertain them.
DH and I were chatting and when schools go back we are contemplating a complete screen ban for a period of time with the possible exception of a few family movies. Has anyone done this before? I feel the kids need a factory reset and then maybe we can reintroduce screens at some point. We could of course just cut their time down but when you give them a little time it’s worse than none.
There’s a family up the road with two boys and they are forever out playing tennis together in the street, football and going on family bike rides. We’ll probably never be that family but I think we need a bit more balance!

Oh and I was going to say, if anyone else feels the same, maybe in September we could have a support thread where we could vent about the inevitable backlash!

First of all don’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone has been playing more because - well what else has there been to do?

I have to make mine go out as if we’re in they want to game. And I mean MAKE. They moan but they are used to it. Even if we walk to the park to play frisbee.

Do they have time limits on the consoles - mine have 90 minutes each and they know that when it’s up they stop. They then watch crap on the telly...!

Honestly it can be done but be prepared for a lot of effort on your part. I would love DS especially to go and read a book instead but I’ve accepted it won’t happen unless I make it happen.

don't be hard on yourself.

we are doing outdoor activities (cycling, running, beach, skate park) every day for at least an hour to get a bit of balance.
in addition the dc read (paper books) for an hour a day. plus one hour of household chores a day.

the highlight is them cooking dinner once a week, including planning, shopping etc. we had some mean 'buffalo' chicken pieces yesterday.

Before covid I only allowed "screen time" at weekends and weekdays during the holidays. By screen time I mean gaming and watching shit on YouTube. We don't have the tv on during the day watching stuff
It has sky rocketed now but I do have a screentime checklist that they have to do before being allowed on, the time they spend on it sickens me.
When back in school in September I will go back to weekends only and probably 2 hours a day on those days.

I could have written your OP @ladyandthechocolate, I’ve kept my two busy as far as possible but if they’re home they are constantly counting the minutes they can have screen time - any chat centres around mine raft or adopt me.

I’m planning to introduce a weekday screen ban (schools went back this week here), with strict limits at the weekend. There will be inevitable kick off but I think the pain will be worth it to get back into a proper routine. They just can’t self regulate screen use.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not losing sleep over it, we’ve all just done what we had to to get through.
Pre-COVID it was an hour weekdays and about 4 at weekends but it took constant vigilance on my part as they are so sneaky.
I guess my issue with it is the lack of interest in anything else.

I’m not losing sleep over it either - their options in terms of entertainment have been so very limited over lockdown. It feels time though to pull things back again.

@Jellycatspyjamas maybe a weekday ban would work for us. Glad I’m not the only one feeling like this. It’s not just the time, it’s the TOTAL OBSESSION! It seems to be their only topic of conversation

Oh god, I know - and the huffs and eye rolls when they’re asked to do anything at all without a screen attached to it. I’m thinking school routine and homework will help in that they just won’t have so much time for screens during the week. I’m keen that they start to rediscover other ways to occupy themselves. We can do this

That’s absolutely it, rediscovering ways to entertain themselves. They’ve totally lost this and also, they even lack interest in movies as they are so used to shouty 5 minute YouTube videos.
We live next to woods and fields and I’m always saying “go and explore the woods, make a den!” and they look at me like

Youve made me feel better OP. I'm in the same boat. I pull them away as much as I can but find it hard as I'm full time WFH on a job that requires my full attention.

@ShandlersWig it’s really hard when you’re trying to work.
Also, even though I don’t like to admit it, when I kick them off screens I’m actually punishing myself because they’re so flipping annoying! Three of my DC are boys (triplets) and they constantly wrestle on the sofa and wind each other up.

This is the thread I needed to read.

My two boys have had too much screen time too. I don't mind them playing the games, it's the attitude when they're told to get off. And then they're bored and can't think of anything to do. We have a great place next our house where they have started building a den so that is one good thing.

We have screen free days but to be honest, the moaning about boredom makes it feel like it's not worth it. I do now have a list of jobs that they can do if theyre bored!!

I also feel that I've been part of the reason they're bored - although restrictions have lifted here and we could go places Ive been still a bit "lockdown" in my outlook and haven't really done any of the things we would normally do in the holidays.

During term time they aren't allowed YouTube through the week and they only get to game at the weekend. Maybe they were allowed to for an hour after tea - I can't remember! Oh they were maybe out at sports and clubs so didn't have time?

I think the routine of school will help, and they will be seeing friends which means we might be able to cut back on Fortnite as that's how they were chatting to pals.

I think a September support thread would be good op!

Also, even though I don’t like to admit it, when I kick them off screens I’m actually punishing myself

I swear my two think “if we annoy her enough she’ll let us back on for some peace” and then proceed to kill each other in increasingly inventive, noisy ways.

Wouldn't get too worried about it. We've been trying to get out and enjoy the weather sone well timed holidays helped. But I've booked a weekend camping without electric for a reason.

Same here, but I’ve just let it go now. I was getting frustrated and snappy with them over the constant battle. And like you say when they aren’t on them they spend the whole time either fighting or moaning at me. For my own sanity I’ve switched the WiFi on and left them to it for the last week.

The youngest wakes at 6am and the oldest goes to bed at 10:30pm. It’s a long day when you’re own your own. We’re not really seeing people or going anywhere either which doesn’t help.

Mine are good at coming off screens of their own accord....
They put their screens down, wrestle, make eachother cry, make a mess and then pick their tablets up again.

I'm so looking forward to getting off screens when summer is over! A detox sounds amazing

Yep. The tv has been my children's third parent this year; DH and I are working in very pressured jobs which require us both to be available during working hours, whilst at home with a 7yo and a 4yo. Something had to give 🤷🏼‍♀️.

I've sent them to my DDad's for a week as of yesterday with NO SCREENS. I'm hoping that he's going to break the cycle (and get them into some sort of a bedtime routine; that's gone out of the window entirely a bit too).

I like to kid myself when DC repeat some stunningly boring fact theyve learnt from Youtube that its vaguely educational.

At least they'll do well in a pub quiz....

Great thread and I would like a support thread for Sept please.

Yes I agree with every word. What they have been doing on screens is not so bad. Minecraft is very impressive, creative, other games have helped dd read and spell, but as you say op it's about a factory reset and screen being a part of entertainment not the entertainment
Both dd are slim but being stationary looking at screens isn't good for them.

Glad to see this thread as I am in the same boat. DH and I working full time from home has meant way too much screen time for our 3 DCs. Just got back from 2 weeks in Spain so, whilst that was a welcome change, they are now having to spend 2 weeks at home without seeing friends or going further than the back garden. Hard to get them off screens under those circumstances.

Hard to get them off screens under those circumstances.

I think even trying to in those circumstances creates unnecessary stress all round - especially when you know there will be opportunity to prise them off when life is a bit more normal for them and for you.

Ah well there we go, I feel better already. Lots of us in the same boat. They’re still all on screens though but we popped out (under sufferance) to collect school uniform and now they’re plugged in again. I will plan my strategy for when school starts, I am thinking no screens at all weekdays and limited at the weekend. @sunnysidegold you’re spot on with the ‘attitude’ and the rage when they have to come off or there was some perceived injustice during the game.
Another current annoyance is my Mum who keeps going on about how unhealthy it is, how they would have never allowed it. I do bite my tongue a bit but I did say, try being at home solidly for this many months with 4 DC and see how you fare!
Anyway, I will rekindle this thread in a few weeks so we can share the pain together. [big grin]

Firstly, that sporty family down the road are traitorous bastards, never trust a happy family!!!!

Secondly, its similar here, but I think its not worth crossing this bridge yet. Once school starts again I will aim for some semblance of responsible parenting but until then it seems like a way of adding more stress to my already stressful enough life.

Ok so September isn't too far away,we can worry about it then!!